Farewell 2009

Its the last Monday for 2009. Usually i hate every Monday. Knowing that its gonna be a friggin long week before the weekend comes, but today i just want to chill and recall back what have i done so far for this year instead of throwing tantrum like a bitch suffering a painful pms. Sounds like Katy Perry huh? hehe.

Every year i always make a resolution list. The things that i want to do and what i wanna be for the whole year. But, so far, i never followed it right until the end of the year. At first, i really followed all the things that i listed but around March or April, the old Wanie is back then i tend to forget about the resolutions until the last day of that year. So much for a resolutions! I have a feeling that i will never fulfill all the things that i want to do for new year resolutions but i cant help it and i have to make the list every year. Including for 2010. I didnt prepare the list yet but i already know what im gonna do. Since, im gonna start my practical next year, i guess i must have a different resolutions compared to before. But it will remain secrets of course. Only my diary will know the details.

Basically, this year is pretty average to me. Still an ordinary girl living in this extraordinary world. Still suffered a very low self esteem, still crying in a room for nothing, still creating own drama just to make this life more interesting, still eating like there will be no tomorrow, still obsessing with facebook like nothing else matter, still depend on other people although i can depend on myself, still wanting the things that i dont have, and still not appreciating the things that i already got. Thats just me.

But, this year is not really that bad. Its pretty fun actually. I cant recall back what is the things that make this year good but i just know it. My relationship with my family, boyfriend, friends are fine. Compare to the previous year, i think my life is right on track and i can almost see the path that im gonna take for life. Last year and the year before, i think its worse with so many troubles hitting me. So, basically this year is a bit of happiness and a bit of sadness. I guess thats the way it should be. I just hope that all the negative things that happened to me this year wont happen again to me on 2010. I know i have the strength to face all the shittty things that will happen to me in future because so far, i still manage to smile and laugh like hell even when im hurt inside and even when i am having so much troubles. I think thats ok. Cant wait for 2010. What u got for me? Bring it on!

p/s : Happy New Year in advance everyone! Spread the love.......

Too little too coward

What is the differences between patience and weak? Am i too weak or am i just that girl who is very patience when it comes to bullying. As far as i can remembered, ever since i was in standard 1 back in 1994, aku dah mmg kene buli. Not a physical attacks kindda thing. More like a mental attack. At first, i can take it but then lama-lama simpan, mmg nak pecah kepala otak ni. I have no idea where i got this strenght to remain calm.

The worse is when is was in high school. Mase form 2, ade la this one girl mmg kuat gile buli aku. Masuk class aku then dgn slambe rampas my pencil case and amik all my color pens buat harta sendiri. And i didnt say a word to her. Dia buat harta sendiri plak tu. Mmg teruk. Kat sekolah pon, ramai yg ckp aku ni nerd, i need to grow up and so much more and aku just telan semua apa org ckp and buat bodo but the truth is, balik rumah dalam bilik conteng diari sambil nangis to the max! Aku x pernah nak lawan balik ckp diorg.

Mase kat skolah menengah, mmg ramai yg buli and pandang rendah kat aku. Semua take advantage of me and i still didnt said a word. Ade this one girl ni ckp, i really need a makeover so that guys will like me. My first boyfriend is Haziq. I was 15 that time and so does he. But manage to stay together for 7 months only. When i was still with him, aku asyik tanye je, what makes him like me? I taught everyone said that im ugly. But i never have the guts to ask him obviously. But now after we broke up, we still remain friends and theres nothing wrong if i ask him now right? And he said that, im not ugly. Then why my friends said so?

At first i taught, get over it. Masuk je uia i taught, i wanna start a new life with new friends and no one can say bad things to me. Mule2 mmg ok, then lama2 aku dapat rasa byk kawan2 aku yang amik kesempatan dgn my condition ni yang x pernah nak bantah ckp org. Paling aku x suke bile org guna kan aku untuk kesenangan sendiri. Sekali dua bole la tahan but kalau dah depend sgt dgn aku sape tahan? Tapi aku x pernah ckp sepatah pun nak lawan balik.

Mase dah nak start final exam, baru la terhegeh2 nak call or sms me asking for notes yang aku buat. Every subject aku mmg akan buat mind map and my personal notes cause i can study much better that way and my friends ni pon tau pasal tu. Thats why semua cari aku nak kan the notes. Mmg la org ckp jgn kedekut ilmu, tapi kalau ye pon try la blaja dulu, then kalau x paham baru la mintak notes aku or mintak aku ajarkan.

But then, diorg ni prefer jalan pintas nak senang. Sehari nak exam baru nak cari aku. Study pon belum terus free2 nak mintak notes kat aku. Kot lah nak belanja makan or even say thanks but nothing! Every semester buat mcm tu. Class pon suke ponteng then suruh aku sign kan their attendance. Aku mmg x suke. Kalau betul2 sakit x pe la, i totally understand tapi kalau overslept x bole la. Aku pon x cukup tidur tapi pakse jgk diri dtg class. Then bile dah x dtg, aku jgk yg nak kene explain homework semua. Im not their personal assistant tau.

Too bad, i have no guts to say it right in front of their faces. Lepaskan kat blog je la. Some people said that aku ni terlalu lemah smpi org pijak kepala aku. Or maybe aku ni jenis yang penyabar? Aku x tau. One thing yang aku asyik fikir skrg, mcm mane bile aku dah start keje nnt? Am i going to face the same situation too? I cant take it anymore la. Kalau kat tempat kerja pon kene jgk then how? I need to step up for myself sometimes but im too little to speak out and yes i am coward!

Desperate for A!

Im totally pissed right now but im trying to remain positive. Tapi sgt susah! Last semester aku register for 2 subject which is Scriptwriting and Radio Production. Both of this subject, Sir Johanni yang ajar. I worked my ass off for this subject and i know that i can get at least A-. But then when i checked the result few days back, agak terkejut cause i got B+ for both subject. And because of that, my cgpa x berapa nak increase sgt. Sgt frust.

I asked my lecturer the same night and i smsed him. I asked him whats wrong with my final answer? I know that i got it right. 100 % positive. In fact, my cam marks pon tinggi so its impossible for me not to get A-. I know that i deserve it. Call me pathetic but i dont care. I know that i should get that. Then, he asked me to see him in his office when the semester begin because i want him to recheck my paper.

Just now, i went to his office to discuss about this matter. Dia ckp its better kalau aku x recheck the paper because there is no point. Katenye, actually i already got A- for both subject but since ramai sgt yang dpt A i guess, UIA bagi quota. Not more then 10 students can get A- or A. I was like..... What the hell? He said that the examiner tolak markah aku because theres a grammatical error in my paper. Hello, is this english subject or what?? The examiner tolak few marks then i got B+. Just because of that both subject aku x dpt A pon. Its so unfair to me.

In my opinion, if that student deserve to get A, then she should get A. Who cares if all the student dapat A? Ape masalahnye? Kenapa perlu ade quota plak? I asked my lecturer honestly what he thinks of my paper. And he said its ok. He understand my answer and i deserved to get A. See? Didnt i told you that? But theres nothing much i can do. My cgpa pun have to remain that way. Kate Uia ni islamic university but i think what happened to me is so not islamic because its not fair. Wheres the justice? Hopefuly this semester will be better for me. Please.

Torturing Wednesday

Result sudah diketahui akhirnya. Fuh, lega. Although agak sedih actually cause ade few subjects that i really hope to get A x dpt! But at least i passed my arabic. Woo hoo. I was so worried that im going to fail. Cuti for 3 weeks but i think mase first week je yang i actually enjoyed. Masuk second week, all i think about was the exam result. I was so worried and i cant concentrate on anything else. Cuti blah mcm tu je. Last wednesday the result was supposed to be release at 4 so i waited patiently for the result to reveal.

That morning i woke up around 10am. Dah set dah dalam kapla otak ni nak bangun selambat yang bole so i dont have to wait longer for the result. Lepas je bgn dari tido, aku kira brape jam lg before 4 pm. Then after breakfast, i watched a movie. I need something as an escapism so that i wont obsessing thinking about the result. Then, around 2 pm, my dad ajak g lunch kat Pappa Rich with my siblings, then i thought great! At least x de la aku terperam kat rumah risau x tentu pasal kan. But yg x bestnye tu kul 4 mase result dah kuar, im on my way back. Aku dah cuak gile that time. Mmg x sabar nak check out the result. Actually i was so curious to know if i fail my arabic or not and thats it.

Sampai je rumah, terus pasang internet. Tapi yg buat aku marah tu website uia buat hal plak! So damn slow! Infact, aku siap bukak laptop and desktop all at once cause x sabar sgt nak tgk. I just want to get it over with. Im tired of waiting! It kills me slowly! End up until 7 pm pon still x dpt bukak lg. Can u imagine how i feel for the frigging long 3 hours waiting for my result to pop out? You have no idea. Then, i decided to stop trying and to check it in the morning next day. I have a feeling that the problem with uia website wont be fix. Not until tomorrow. I was pretty mad and pissed that time. But what can i do. So i tried to do something to keep my mind away from thinking about the result so i played Twister with my sis and bro. Was pretty fun!

At night around 9.30pm i dont know why suddenly i want to try to open the result. And finally! There it was infront of my eyes. I was so happy that i passed my arabic paper but im confused cause 2 of the subject that i know i can score A but it turned out i got B+ instead. Terdiam jgk la depan computer and i called everyone in my class to ask them. Ade la a few yg dpt B jgk and ade jgk yang dpt A. I almosy cry cause i study for that subject like nuts! I really hope if i got A for that subject, it can help my cgpa to increase. I even asked my lecturer to recheck my paper. I have to. Yeah, i know i can be like a pain in th ass sometimes. But i cant help it.

Then, that same night, i said to myself i should just probably say alhamdulillah instead of swearing like mad. It wont solve the problem. At least i dont have to repeat my arabic and next sem i can move step ahead to the next level. Cheers for me. Benda dah jadi kan nak buat macamana although i still hope that there'll be changes for my grades and cgpa. But overall, i accepted my result. Next semester i have to try harder

I despise gay & lesbian

Its scary when i started to think how weird and drastic this world has changed. What is going to happen in 20 years time? I seriously cant imagine. People now are so focusing on trying to be individual and not afraid at all to show the world their true colors and their identity. I mean, its good for them to show their identity but what if the things that they are exposing is against the nature? To make it worse, it spread like a virus!

Im talking about gay and lesbian. I despise the idea of it. Seriously. A man need a woman and same goes the other way. Thats the nature. Thats how human population will grow! The idea of same sex love really disgust me. I mean, theres nothing wrong to care about someone with the same sex but to actually marrying them? Its ridiculous! Lots of country are fighting their right to have a same sex marriage. What the hell is this?

Its bullshit when they said that they are born that way. Theres no such thing as you're born to be gay or lesbian. You want to change it and dont put the blame on god. In fact, if i have no desire towards my opposite sex, i'd rather stay alone and just adopt a child. Instead of going against the nature! What happen if everyone become gay and lesbian? It will be the end of human species. That is so bizzarre!

Seriously i against lesbianism and gayism. Always was and always will. If only i have the power to control this stupid idealism. Its spreading really fast! In fact here in Malaysia, its pretty normal. Lots of celebrity also claimed and admit that they are gay and lesbian. Ellen Degeneres, Adam Lambert, Elton John, Lance, Clay Aiken and the list goes on. They are a public figure. Im just afraid that all their fans will start to think that theres nothing wrong of being gay and lesbian. I pity the young generations because they will surrounded with a weird environment and they kind of like have to decide if they are straight or gay. Who should we blame? I belived that its all come down to you.

Mikaeel

Last few days i went to Mid Valley to watched Michael Jackson This Is It. Actually everyone is busy and not answering my calls so i just decided to watched it alone. Trust me its not that bad. Sumone said its pathetic. Whats wrong with watching movie alone? I dont get it. I think its cool that you dont rely on sumbody else to have fun. You know how to have fun alone rite. Thats what i think. I mean shopping alone is fun actually. Anyway, im proud of myself! Hehe.

Okey, i heard all the fuss about this movie like months ago. Actually i dont know what this movie is about. I read in the newspaper that said this movie is brilliant! Not only that, it achieved box office collection! Some of my friends said its boring. But i'll be stupid if i rely on my friends to know about the review of this movie. I mean, i prefer to rely on the review on the internet or anyone who is expert in movie of course, so i decide to watch it alone so i can judge it myself.

When the movie was released, i was busy with my final exam. I kept thinking that i know im gonna miss it because that movie will be in the cinema not for one month but only for 2 weeks instead. So, obviously i cant watch it cause im busy preparing for my finals. No matter how much i love Michael Jackson, im sooo not gonna jeopardizing my study right? At least thats the right thing to do. I taught maybe i can just catch it on dvd or something.

But surprisingly i heard that they extend it since lotsa people want to watch it. My luck eh? Haha. So i watched it and im touched! It was so good i want to watch it again! Its basically a rehearsal video for his concert which is suppose to be held few days after the day he passed away. Its pretty sad rite? One thing for sure, He's a good dancer. For a 50 year old guy to dance like that, wow! Luckily, they recorded the whole rehearsal and people can watch it. The rehearsal was recorded few days before he died. He was so excited for his concert and he kept practicing again and again. He's so humble and down to earth. When a person is so down to earth like that, its hard for us to find a reason not to like him. Whenever peoples complimented him, he will smile and said god bless you. That is so humble. I dont get it why some people criticize him.

In that rehearsal, he performed Billie Jean, Beat It, Earth Song, Smooth Criminal, I'll Be There, Wanna Be Startin Something and so much more. Their preparation for the concert is really amazing. Sure it can be an escapism for anyone that watch it. I know i am. For 2 hours i couldnt think of anything else besides him. How great he is. As a performer and as a person. Im so gonna get the dvd when it release later. Will watch it again and again and of course i'll show it to my future children later. Truly a legend, truly one in a million. May you rest in peace.....Mikaeel

Future writer maybe?

Its a holi holiday! I just finished my final exam last Sunday and damn it feels good! I got 3 weeks for holiday. Mase tgh x cuti mcm2 benda plan nak buat tapi bile dah cuti relax kat rumah je layan dvd. Its good enough for me but it will be nicer if i can go on a vacation or something. I need to take a time off before new sem start. I mean, this sem i worked my ass off to increase my cgpa and hopefuly its worth it. We'll see cause the result will be release in 3 weeks from now. Cuak jgk ni. Haha. I dont want to put my hope to high cause juz in case if my cgpa remain the same, nnt aku jgk yang frust. But i cant help it. Kalau bole skrg jgk nak check the result. Then only i can enjoy my holiday to the max without any worries.

Cuti ni one thing for sure, im gonna meet my shindois. Lama x jumpa budak2 ni. Last time jumpe pon mase buka puase dulu. Tu pon ngan Fiera and Syaz je. Nadia and Ain pon dah lame x jumpe. Cuti ni, hmm i just wanna relax my mind. Meaning, DVD marathon for sure, blogging, kemas bilik, jumpe kawan, hang out with family, watch movies, and thats it. Ni je lah yang aku biase buat kalau mase cuti. But this time, i wanna do something different. I wanna start working on my script. I juz discovered this new software and i downloaded it for free. This software is for any scriptwriters who want to put their ideas on paper instead of using Microsoft Words. At least by using this software aku bole tau mcm mane format buat script. Bukan suke2 je bole type kat Microsoft Word. Byk sgt ceite ni, juz waiting for me to write it down. Hehe.

I dont really know if im good at it. But my friends said that i know how to play with words. Im not sure if its true cause they are my friends so sometimes can be bias also right? But last month, i gave some of my lyrics and poems to Tim. She is a rockstar! Haha, seriously can play the guitar that well so i gave it to her my masterpiece so she can make a song by figuring out the melodies. And when i heard it, its good! Cant believed finally theres a melody for those poems and lyrics i created. In fact one of my friends just broke up with her long time boyfrind and when she listened to that song, she feel touched. Its a song that i write about being positive and remain strong no matter what thunders attack you. Wow, i cant believed it!

I've started writing lyrics when i was 16. You know cause thats the time when you faced all kinds of teenage drama. I pour my heart out with words since im not a rebel type of girl. It helps cause i still survive until today. Haha. I have lots of collection and i was planning to write more. But now, i wanna start to write about actual story. I just downloaded a sample of script. Its from 'When Harry met Sally'. I heard that movie is good. I checked it on the internet all the reviews said that its worth watching so i downloaded it straight away. So when i watch that movie, i can also see the script so i know how the script works. That movie was back in 1989. Sally played by Meg Ryan and Harry played by Billy Crystal. I love 80's movie. So, its a bonus!

Old Photos

Its scary sometimes whenever i flip through old photos. I swear it gave me goosebumps.Its amazing how this things can make you feel weird, funny, sad all in one. It can bring back old memories whether its sweet or not. It can give you this feeling of happiness sometimes. Thats how i felt every time i looked at it. Thats why old photos are my treasures. I swear, if anything happen to it, i'll go nuts!

When i looked at old photos it somehow can make me smile alone and i felt like it was just yesterday i took the picture. Be it family photos, photos of myself, photos with my boyfriend or even with my friends. It reminds me of how sweet it was back then. And of course it made me realize that im gettin old! It scary sometimes to think that im not a teenager anymore. What do u expect? Im 22 for god sake! Theres no teen word anymore for my age. Everything is happening so fast and its true what people always said that time is not waiting fo us. So true!

A picture worth a thousand word. I couldnt agree more to that. But the truth is, we are the one who can interpret it correctly because it's our photos. It reminds of what you used to be or what you used to have and sometimes, it can help you to be more thankful for what you got. Same goes to me. I always have issues with my parent. Who doesnt right? But i kept it locked deep inside cause i dont want to be rude to them, so i just remain silent. Sometimes i kept comparing them to other parents. Which is not good. But when i looked back the family photo album, i cant help but to love them even more. They love me and my sister so much that they bought us like thousand of dresses when we were little and thanks to them, i looked cute back then. Haha. And by just looking at it, i know that they really love me. Sometimes old photos can makes you remain grounded and it can help you to know where you actually belong.

When it comes to friends, damn it they hurt me so much i kept asking myself, why i still talked to them? Then, when i looked back at our school photos, then it hit me straight in my head. What we had is so precious and to let it go with a stupid cat fight is silly. I really value my friendship with them. When i looked at the photos, i know that i can forgive them for what they did. Because if i have to live without their contagious laugh, it feel so weird! Those old photos have a very beautiful stories to tell. We grew up together. We go through different phase with each other and its all there in the photos. I bet, 30 years from now, when i look back at those photos, i know it can still make me smile and i'll laugh alone when i recall back their jokes!

Some people dont get it why certain people are so into yesterday. Some people believe that what we go through today is what counts. But we wont be who we are if we're not from yesterday. Thats what have shaped us to be who we are today. Theres nothing wrong of diggin up old boxes to search for an old photo album. Memories will always remain with us. And its nicer if you looked at it with the one that you love whether its your family, your boyfriend or even your friends. The laugh that you share with them when you look at those old photos is priceless!

p/s : Fiera & Qila, our photos when we were a librarian back in 1998 is the best! Classic! Hehe....

Why on earth?

Why on earth Mass Comm students especially Electronic Media students have to take statistic? Dah ade teknologi canggih, why still nak merangkak kira2? Dah ade spss yang bole calculate all quetions, why we still need to know the formula and calculate ourselves? It doesnt make any sense! Kalau budak yang suke maths, in love with maths, wanna have sex with maths, to that extend confirm akan debate balik my statement here kan? G mampos lah. I really hate maths. Its totally not my thinggy.

Im takin statistics this sem and this is the subject that i cant study alone! I need sumone to guide me and i kindda dont like it. I prefer to study alone but kalau blajar statistic sorang2 mmg confirm fail lah aku! I feel like i dont get anything from taking statistics. I mean, ape kene mengena statistic and my passion towards script writing? Words and numbers. Its so obvious its two different thing! But i got no choice, cause its a course requirement bla bla bla....

I cant wait to get over statistic exam this coming thursday! Seriously! Its a gud thing that i changed course before. Dulu aku ni budak ICT. If i remain as ICT student, damn mmg aku dah hantok kapla kat dinding lah! Every sem deal with numbers! x tahan aku weyh. Some people said that maths is fun but to me maths is *&^%$!!!

But sumbody told me that statistic is very important if you wanna pursue your study to master in overseas. That is one of the subjects that they will look for, so i have to get good grade for statistic even when i hate it so much! I might wanna continue my study later, or not! I dont know but who knows what future got for me so amik je la kan subject yang aku x suke ni just for future sake!

Aku mmg x minat betul la nak blaja subject yang x de kene mengena dgn my dream job. But sumtimes people said that, you might end up become sumone else. I mean, belum tentu lg aku akan jadi script writer so these other subject might help me. Yeah.... have to agree with that. But still, why maths? Lain la kalau aku specialize in Organizational Communication. Students kat Aswara ade blaja maths ke?????

p/s : x pe wanie..... pelan2 kayuh katenye....

Wishful Thinking? I hope not.

Is it too hard for me to be more simple and beautiful from the inside? I've been questioning myself a lot lately. Sometimes the things that i hate in people is actually living and growing inside of me. Is it a wishful thinking if i say that i want to get rid of it? Life will be more simple and beautiful if everyone have a really good heart. Why i kept judging people when the truth is i hated when people judge me too? What is wrong with me?

Why cant i be more happier for my family and friends? Why im so selfish and self centered? What happened to me for the last few years? I kept telling myself that for months! I kept wishing and hoping that tomorrow will be a better day for me. Tomorrow i will be a better person than yesterday but i end up become worse.

I believe everyone wants to be a better person everyday. Gotta be stronger to put all those negative things away and start gaining your positive side because i believe that everyone is actually nice but this cruel world make us change. Damn i hate that!

To all my friends, i just wanna say that im so sorry if i hurt your feelings and if i talked behind your back. But deep inside, i love all of you like i love myself. You guys have put colors to my life whether its dark or white, i still love you guys cause you guys used or once make me smile, and im so sorry if i have done anything that might hurt your feelings. Why cant we just be like when we're little kids before? So happy and not being judgemental? Life is so much simpler back then.

Stupid assumption

For my script writing class, aku kene buat satu interview and its a group project. We have to choose a topic. Any topic and we must interview someone who is expert in that field. Its a 10 marks project so agak byk la kan. My mid term is ok but still i really want to score for this subject so agak la bersungguh2 buat project ni. My group members are Echah, Amni and Fadly. At last kitorg pilih tajuk Quality of IIUM Communication Students. We decided to interview Dr Baiduri who is the Dean of Communication Department, Prof Yusof and Dr Saodah. Kiranye org2 kuat kat department la.

Kitorg prepared 5 questions. And questions tu is about the quality of IIUM Communication student, why people underestimate comm student from UIA and we are also questioning about the facilities provided here in IIUM. Is it good enough? These are the questions that we want to asked the lecturers. My group member dah interview Dr Baiduri and i cant join them because on that time i got class. Tomorrow plak nak interview Dr Saodah.

Pagi tadi, all of us pergi interview Prof Yusof. Dia ni kira moyang kat comm department la cause all lecturers comm pernah jadi student dgn Prof Yusof ni. I was the moderator for this project and when i asked him about the facilities and why people underestimate comm student here in UIA, dia mcm tak puas hati plak. Aku mcm dah cuak. Suddenly dia tanye based on what kita buat fakta mcm ni? Ha, ape aku nak jawab weyh? But its true. Slalunye org slalu pandang tinggi budak2 comm from Uitm Shah Alam. Thats what i said to him. Skalinye dia jawab balik ha amik kau! Macam2 dia bg point nak prove kan yang UIA is way better than Uitm Shah Alam.

Aku pon at first assumed mcm tu jgk. Dulu pon aku giler sgt nak masuk uitm shah alam cause i taught kat sane offered the best for comm student. Tapi dapat uia plak. But after the interview, aku mcm bangga plak jadi student comm kat uia. Haha. Prof Yusof mmg explain good enough la why uia is better. In terms of everything. First, uia is international university and the course and subjects offered pon ikut international level. For example Statistic, Research Method and Comm Theory. Dia ckp kalau score subject2 ni senang giler la nak continue Master kat overseas. Even when your cgpa is lower than 3.0. Then dia ckp, uitm shah alam ade 5 labs only and uia ade 7 labs. UIA is well known in foreign countries and byk yang nak hantar students studies kat sini. Ramai grads from uia now dah jadi diplomats in their countries. Dekat Uitm Shah Alam, x de lansung lecturer comm yang bertaraf proff. Kat uia ade je. Mcm2 lagi lah dia ckp tadi. Agak tergamam la aku. Seriously my assumption sgt salah for all this while! Haha. Bagus jgk kitorg pilih tajuk ni. Terbuka mata sikit. Kalau x asyik nak kate Uitm Shah Alam je bagus.

Tomorrow nak interview Dr Saodah. Maybe she will add more to this. I cant wait to hear the result of the project. Hehe. I still dont know nak continue study or not cause so far i have no experience at all working so mcm x sabar2 jgk nak start kerja. Maybe lagi dpt byk experience bila dah kerja. Tapi continue study pon ok jgk. We'll see la mcm mane nnt. So far, cant decide yet!

Judging!

Its true that we cant avoid judging others. But sometimes ape yang kita judged at first to bole jadi salah. Including me. I hate it when people judged me and called me names! Hmm, but too bad sometimes i end up being one of them. I also tend to judged others based on their character and personality. But later bila dah kenal, their true colors revealed. Not like what i was expected. Funny huh? Is it just me or everyone pon mcm tu jgk?

Its been about 3 years im in UIA and yeah i judged people a lot! Surprisingly, semua nye x betul! Ade la satu girl ni kuat giler melaram and cantik2 lah. Mmg jenis yang jaga penampilan betul. At first i taught Omg! giler lah minah ni. Poyo betul nak dressing smpi mcm ni. And i taught confirm this girl type yang sombong giler but i was wrong! After dah kenal dgn dia ni, i asked myself again, why i hated her at first? Theres nothing wrong with her. She's being herself and aku susah kat mane? Then i taught, maybe i was a little jealous of her. Not because she is beautiful which she is but i envy her high level of confidence. Like she doesnt care at all about what others think of her. I wish i have that kind of confidence! Really! And this other girl, omg i hated her so much because i think she is so fake and i dont know how to describe her. Im kind of not comfortable when im with her and at last, she's fine. She's being herself. Totally herself and she doesnt afraid to show the world who she really is! And i asked myself again, why dulu aku x suke dia? Dia x pernah pon cari gadoh dgn aku. Geleng kepala je aku bile aku pike balik perangai aku ni.

And, kalau kat UIA biasa lah, kalau girl yang pakai tudung labuh2 ni confirm kite dah set dlm kapla otak kite ni yang diorg ni mesti baik, alim. Aku pon sometimes mcm tu jgk. Kalau tudung labuh je confirm baik lah ni. Tapi rupenye suka tgk ceite American Pie! Haha! Ape cite weyh? Aku ingat org mcm ni tgk ceite Nur Kasih je. Haha. Seriously after this, i wont judge people based on what they wear or their personality cuz inside them its totally different color. Aku x terkejut pon kalau ade minah yang tudung labuh tapi jarang semayang. And aku x terkejut pon kalau ade punk girl jaga semayang. To me, semua orang sama je. Konon nye yang melainkan kita ni pakaian tapi salah! Dalam hati x de sape yang tahu. Lantak lah ape org lain nak buat, kite susah kat mana? Just be friends with everyone and put in your mind that everyone is equal.

Pelan-pelan kayuh

Lately i've been using that quote a lot. Haha, seriously im trying to calm myself. Byk giler kerja for this sem and as usual, dah jadi habit aku untuk buat kerja last minute. I dont know what is my problem because every new semester, azam konon x nak tangguh kerja but sekerat jalan je lah. In the middle of semester dah mula dgn perangai lama balik.

This semester im taking statistic yang terkenal dgn byk kerja. Haha. Yeah and last nite for the first time im wearing baju kurung smpi kul 2 pagi! Baju tu aku pakai dari pagi tau. Tu nak menunjukkan mmg kerja aku byk sgt. Yesterday, my class started at 12 smpi 1.30 tapi class tu cancel then bagus la bole buat stats assignment yang kene submit today. I taught bole la siap kan but x siap2 jgk. At 2pm i got my arabic class until 3.30 then continue lagi buat stats assignment until 5 cuz pukul 5 aku ade class lg until 6.30. Then after my class finished, i have to study cuz i got a mid term exam at 8.30 so aku stay je lah kat cafe sorang2 smpi kul 8. Dinner pon sorang je sambil study all my notes. Nasib la dah prepared the notes earlier. Exam start at 8.30 but i have to go early cause i have no idea where is the venue. Nasib la dpt jumpa on time.

The format for the exam is true and false questions and overall 20 question so dpt la aku siapkan 30 minutes only. Then aku terus g discussion dgn my friends cause assignment stats ni x habis2 lg. Berejam kot nak siapkan smua padehal 10 marks je. Busy mcm nak dpt 30 marks je. At last siap jgk and i reached my room safely around 2am. Kat bilik pon aku x terus tido cause i have to touch up the assignment so nampak lagi kemas. Omg i hate maths, i hate numbers, i hate calculations! Seriously x de interest lansung. Finally dpt jgk tido around 4 am padehal class the next day start at 8.30. Nasib la dpt bangun. Thanx to Erin for waking me up.

Byk betul keje this month. Lepas raya mmg all out lah. Kerja all the time. At this time ade lagi 5 more assignments to go before final starts in November. Hopefuly my cgpa naik la sket this sem. Cant believe i only got 2 more long sem to go then habis officially. Sekejap je. Aku suke betul gune kan that quote 'Pelan2 kayuh'. I think its true. Kalau byk kerja, buat slow2 and relax pon bole siap jgk instead of giving up terus kan. Kalau mase kat matric dulu, everytime when theres a lot of work to do and when i feel like i cant take it anymore, aku give up terus. Just like that. But i got my lessons already so i dont want to repeat the same mistakes again so i kept telling myself that buat kerja sikit2, lama3 bole habis. So actually, i think even when this sem byk kerja, aku x pernah rase setenang mcm ni. X de rase serabut sgt kepala otak. Ade la once in a while but x lah smpi teruk sgt smpi nak nangis.

So basically, im proud of myself. I can say that i changed a lot compared to myself mase kat matric dulu. Mase kat matric dulu, i dont care at all about my cgpa. I never try my best mase kat sane. But now bile dah masuk main camp and bile dah nak habis study, i do care about my cgpa and so on. I will always try my best to be the person i can be and if the result is just so-so then i think its ok cause i know that i have put my efforts to it. So i dont really feel that bad. Its not like im so nuts about getting all A's in my exam. I do target for an A but if i got B then i just accept it. Its not the end of the world. Its just the beginning. Am i right? So lets pelan2 kayuh together and hopefuly i will reach the destination where i want to go.

Regret????

Thats what i've been feeling lately. Yesterday aku register subject for new semester and i realized that i only have to complete another 7 subjects for course subject out of 24. Omg, i feel like it was yesterday i decided to major in Mass Comm and now dah nak habis ? Time is running so fast! Haha, dulu2 complain rase mcm lambat sgt nak grad but now rase mcm kejap plak.

Its not like i love UIA that much smpi nak sedih mcm ni, but yang aku regret sgt skrg ni cuz i feel like i didnt get that much knowledge here in UIA. Dulu2 aku study just for the sake of getting good grades and just for attendance. I dont really understand what i memorized before so whats the point of getting good grades right?I cant recall back what i have learn years before when i first entered UIA. Maybe i can recall a bit but most of the knowledge that i've learned smua hilang!

Rase mcm nak amik balik subject yang aku dah amik tu. Tapi kalau buat mcm tu confirm berjanggut la nak tunggu grad kan. This is why sometimes student yang dapat cgpa gempak pon susah nak dapat kerja or tak tau nak buat kerja. Its because they dont know how to apply it practically what they have learned and they cant remember any of it. Gosh im so scared to death! Bulan May next year,i'll start my practical and i dont know if i can handle it that well or not. I guess im not comfortable leaving my comfort zone and start a new life maybe? Working life. Omg! That is so bizzare! Beyond me. I've never work before. I have zero experience working with anyone. Hopefuly everything is going to be fine.

Back to reality!

Adoi, bosan nye cuti raya dah habis. Im still in a mood for raya lah. Open house maybe? Anyone? Jgn malu2 jemput aku ok! Haha. Seriously, i need to stop eating now! Asyik nak makan je time raya nie. 2 weeks semester break is over and as usual, aku akan merungut everytime cuti dah habis. Mase nak balik raya, omg mmg aku dah set dlm otak aku to forget about all the stress and the shitty things that happened to me and i said to myself that i just want to enjoy raya. Forget about assignments, mid terms. Screw it! Haha. Now when the holiday is over, i guess i have to go back to reality.

Even when i have tried to motivated myself to always think positive, sometimes it still cant help it. But what to do? what other choice i have? Kalau nak rehat goyang kaki je kat rumah, g kawin lah! Jadi suri rumah 24/7 which is sooo not gonna happen! Haha.

Ok, tomorrow i really need to start study for mid terms. Nasib baik la i have prepared the notes earlier, x lah kabut sgt. I just have to read and understand it and hopefuly bole buat mid term dgn baik. My mid term will be on this coming tuesday. Then i have to start preparing for my Parenting class assignments which i still dont know what i have to do actually. Haha. Typical me!

I checked the calendar before so i have like around 1 month for classes then final exam will start. Omg, there goes one more sem and the next thing i know i will be leaving UIA. Haha. Sometimes rase sekejap je, sometimes rase lame plak. Macam2! But one thing i know i have to do now is to breathe and take it easy. Tension2 pon x gune. X menyelesaikan masalah pon. Am i right?

Anyway, since my sem break is not officially over, mood raya pon ade lg so aku upload sket la some of Raya's picture. Malas nak upload semua. :)

Al-Kisah Hari Raya

Its the 6th day of raya already and im already back home. I still feel like it was yesterday i was busy packing my stuff to go to my Kampung. Its just a blink of an eye and everything is over. My getaway is over. Hmm, i dont know why i called it a getaway. Maybe because i need a break from my busy life in campus. Yeah, thats what i need! I was so happy to go back to celebrate Hari Raya with my family and cousins. Duit raya pon bole tahan byk jgk but i dont think i have to mention brape jumlah duit raya aku this year. Remain secret. Hehe.

Tapi, time raya ni lah mcm2 kisah aku nak cerite cause this is the time a lot of things happened and it made me realized about something. I am so sick with my uncles and aunties attitude. Seriously i had enough of it. Everytime bila balik raya they will start asking me question yang to me agak annoying. Contohnye 'Bile nak grad? Amik course ape? Knape lambat sgt grad?' and so on. Diorg mcm pandang rendah gile kat aku and i know that they think course mass comm cam hampeh je. Kire mcm course yang cikang la x bole hidup. Excuse me? Ni bukan zaman 'ibu mertuaku' ok yang nak kene jadi lawyer, engineer, doctor baru bole hidup! Sumpah boring! Get a life la. Im so gonna prove to them yang course yang aku amik ni bole buat aku senang later in future. Just wait and see and when that time comes, diorg x bole nak ckp ape lg and i will laugh like hell! Haha.

My uncles and aunties ni mcm banggakan sgt pasal anak diorg. Cerite kat aku mcm mane their life duduk kat MRSM. Please lah. Like i care. Bile my uncle cerite aku nak tergelak pon ade. My uncle ni punye mcm dah bagus la cerite kat aku, anak dia mmg x bole tgk tv. Mmg my uncle ni kawal ketat gile la anak dia ni. Then i said to myself, sampai bile dia nak kontrol? For how long? Kalau dah terlalu control sgt, then once bile anak dia dah masuk university, and on that time my uncle dah x bole nak control lg, haha time tu mmg anak dia akan culture shock habis lah! Silap2 bole rosak terus anak dia weyh. And if anak dia nnt continue study kat luar negara, i dont know what else to say. Mmg culture shock to the max! In my opinion, thats not the right way to treat your children. If you think by controlling them is the best way, think again. For how long you want to control them? Sooner or later they will grow up and they need to do certain things like what teenagers usually normally do. I mean not the bad stuff la. Kalau guna internet pon x bole lansung, just imagine mcm mane anak dia nak survive nnt bile masuk university.Kalau gune google pon x reti, mcm mane kan. Susah la hidup.

Lagi sorang my uncle ni mmg slalu sgt pandang rendah kat aku. Cam bagus je. He always think that anak-anak dia tu bagus sgt. But the truth is. anak dia sendiri yang cerite kat aku yang dia kuar with this guy and that guy and i dont think the father which is my uncle know the real character anak dia ni. Aku geleng kepala je cause i know the truth. Everytime balik kampung, judging is common. Its normal already.

Sometimes i think that my uncles and my aunties ni treat their childrens like a product. They invest money for them so they can go to tuition. They sent them to tuition so that their children will know the spot questions for the exam like UPSR, PMR and SPM. Then bile anak dia dapat straight A's, mula la berlagak nak mampos. Gi kecoh satu kampung pasal anak diorg ni.Please lah. Kat kampung hari tu, my cousins asyik kene marah je dgn their parents cause diorg dah nak exam so like every hour diorg check anak diorg study ke x. Omg, this is so sick! In fact, my cousins pon came to me and tell me their problems. Diorg ckp diorg tension sgt their parents buat diorg mcm tue. I totally understand. Aku kesian jgk kat diorg ni. Ade sorang org kampung aku ni cerite kat aku yang pak cik dia ni pon suke sgt mengutuk org. Anak org tu dia nak kutuk, anak org ni pon dia nak kutuk. But he have no idea mcm mane perangai anak dia yang sebenarnye. Everyone taught that anak dia ni baik giler la. But the truth is, anak dia ni kaki minum weyh. Kaki clubbing smpi pagi. Kalau bapak dia tau, mmg terkejut giler lah. Haha. Sick sick sick.

I just hope that based on what i have seen so far, i hope that it can help me to become a good parent later in future. Aku x nak anak2 aku rase tension smpi mcm ni. Seriously kesian. So yeah this is what i called Al-Kisah Hari Raya. Mcm2 cerite, mcm2 ragam org. Anyway, gambar raya x bole nak upload cuz laptop aku buat hal plak. L8er maybe. Last but not least, dont judge cause its........ sick!

Best buffet ever!

Last Sunday, me and my family went to Atrium Sunway to buka puase. My cousin and my uncle aunty pon join same. So overall 10 org la. Memang best! Last year pon pernah skali buka puase kat sane. Atrium punye buffet seorg mmg la mahal but its totally worth it! Aku pon x tau how many calories dah masuk dalam badan aku just for one meal haha. Ok recall back makan ape. Hmm, start with seafood, then mihun dgn daging, then satay, puding susu, cake, air grape 3 glass! Omg, gile ok! Kalau nak ikutkan nak makan lagi but nanti takut meletop plak perut! Haha.

Kalau dah smpi sini mmg dah lupe diet. Screw diet la. Kalau nak diet better x yah g buffet kan? Haha. Tapi lepas makan mule la sebok nak timbang berat badan. Makanan yang paling best that nite is the seafood and puding susu. Tersangat sedap. Memang terbaik lah! Udang dia sgt fresh!

I love to eat prawn tapi malas gile nak kopek kulit udang so kat sini dah tersedia kopek tinggal nak makan je. Ha, ape lagi kan? Memang melantak lah! Mushroom dia pon so damn juicy! But this time salmon fish plak x de. Sedey. Puding susu dia pon terbaik! At first mase aku amik tu i taught that was cheese cake, tapi puding susu. So creamy ok! Aku amik 2 slices. Time tu dah nak habis dah so aku amik la dua. Then lepas dah habis, aku nak lg then aku tgk dah habis! Sedih! Kalau aku tau puding dia sedap mcm ni aku amik byk2 tadi! Hopefuly next year ade lg.

Seriously, buka puase kat sana sgt best! Lagi best dari berbuka kat Singgahsana hotel! Singgahsana hotel tu makanan dia smua makanan melayu. Dah la sesak nak mampos! Dah mcm dekat bazar ramadhan plak.

Puase tinggal lagi 2 hari and insyallah raya this Sunday. Cant wait! Baju raya tahun ni aku ade 3 pasang. Semua cantik tau! Haha. Will stay in kampung for 1 week then lepas tu sebok dgn open house lah ape lagi. Famous Malaysian tradition! Org Malaysia ni mmg kuat makan! Betul tak? :)

Its been 13 years!

Yep, its been 13 years! Time is running like tissue. Nama budak ni Zafirah Saufi. Omg, how can i desribe her in words? Hmm, one thing for sure, no matter what happen, me and Fiera will remain friends forever. The first time i talked to her was in 1996. Sgt lama kan? On that time, both of us in different class. Tapi once a week ade PTS class so my class combine dgn class dia. Aku duduk la sebelah dia. Omg she is so tiny! Kecik nak mati. Mcm budak tadika pon ade but look at her now! Lagi tinggi dari aku kot. Cheit! On that time i still remember pencil box dia Tom & Jerry. Ahaha comel je kan? Ingat x pencil box yang ade 2 side tu? Then ade tempat letak pencil and the eraser. I think zaman skrg budak2 dah x pakai dah pencil box mcm tu. Haha classic weyh! Time tu she is so nice to me. Then baru aku ingat dia ni pon skolah agama same dgn aku jgk. Since then baru la aku start ckp2 dgn dia. Mase kat skolah agama, bila time semayang, aku suke tgk dia pakai telekung! Cute to the max! Aku suke cubit pipi dia! Haha, i dont think she remember all this but thanks to my memory.

1997-1999, darjah 4 smpi darjah 6 we're getting closer. Mase darjah lima both of us jadi librarian. Skema! I know! Badan dia kecik gile ok bila pakai uniform librarian tu. I still remember every friday librarian kene stay in the library for 1 hour to clean up the book shelves. Susun balik buku according to the number and so on. But me and Fiera got better things to do. We play hide and seek! Yes, dah darjah 5 pon nak main nyorok2 lg. Mcm budak2! Haha! Kalau time aku nyorok senang je dia nak jumpe aku but bile time dia plak nyorok, omg susah gile nak jumpe because she is so small! Dia selalu menyorok kat blakang rak buku, so mmg aku x nampak lah. Sometimes bawah meja pon dia bole muat!

Lepas tu plak, every Friday, me and Fiera ade swimming class for 1 hour kat Kelab Syabas. At first aku join dulu then when i told her how exciting and fun it was, then dia pon nyebok jgk nak join! Yang poyo tu, swimming suit dia mcm ballerina! Yang mcm skirt tu! Haha. Baju nak cantik tapi berenang pon fail. How many times instructor tu dah ajar pon still tenggelam! Hahaha! Lawak je. Org lain semua dah ke next level. Org lain dah berenang kat tempat dalam. Dia still struggle kat tempat yang bole pijak kaki tu. Haish, kesian plak aku tgk budak kecik ni, then aku pon g la teman dia kat tempat cetek sampai la dia lulus. Then finally baru la dia bole masuk tempat dalam, then bila dah smpi tempat dalam, penakut plak! Haish. Org dah berenang patah balik, dia still x nak lepas tangga swimming pool tu. Haha. Lawak betul!

Darjah 6 plak, our hormones makin menjadi2! Haha, both of us berebut nak Dwayne Johnson. Or better known as The Rock! Haha. jgn main2! We know everything about him. Buku biography The Rock pon nak beli jgk. Theres one time Geraldine, one of our close friend dulu pretend like interview Fiera. Then Geraldine asked ' How long you two had sex together?' and Fiera dgn selamba pon jawab ' From 2 to 5 am!' Hahaha. Aku gelak mcm nak mati weyh! x padan dgn kecik, tapi otak bole tahan! Mase darjah 6, AJ from BSB pon budak ni layan. Fanatik nak mati. Everyday mention about AJ. Ahhh, those were the time of boy band. No one can resist. Aku pon layan but i like Kevin! Hehe.

Thank god mase form 1, we both still in the same school. Yep yep, Assunta for life! But too bad, we're not in the same class anymore. Dia class atas, aku class bwh sikit. Ye lah, UPSR dia lagi ok dari aku. Heh. Mase form 1, sekolah ptg so pagi tu mmg aku slalu lepak rumah dia. Theres one time ni, kitorg lapar so decide nak goreng nugget. X tau la, kat mane silapnye, nugget tu jadi lembik. Bile makan i feel like chewing wet tissue! Euw! Haha. Bodo jer. Mase form 1 nampak sket la badan dia ni dah naik. I mean her height. Tapi, badan dia naik mendadak mase form 2. Seriously bertukar! Aku plak yang remain terbantut! Chet! Then i asked her whats her secret bole tinggi mcm ni and you know what she said? ' Aku byk makan daging!'. Kepala otak kau! Makan daging byk kalau nak gemok! Haha, then she said everytime bila dia tersedu, jgn minum air cuz time tu la ketinggian akan naik. Adoi, ape punye doctor la dia ni!

Mase form 3 kesamdolan kitorg makin menjadi2! Makin budak2 rasenye! Haha. Tapi mase form 3 is the phase where we are searhing for identity. Time ni mcm2 crisis la ade. At first dressing mcm ni, then dressing mcm tu plak. Fiera time ni dah makin ganas sket. Dah x layan BSB but prefer Blink 182 instead. Haha. Mcm2 lah. On that time kitorg joined this group called 'The Shindoi' dan ahli2 nye ialah Me, Fiera, Syaz, Ain n Nadia. Yep, our very own club. Club ini mengggunakan pelbagai bahasa yang sumtimes pelik sumtimes lawak. For example like Suntadey, Shinna, Shintala wey, Shintala wey wey dan bermcm lg. Hmm, whats the meaning of this words pon i have no idea but we always use it just for fun.

Masuk form 4 aku sama class dgn dia. Tapi x lama cuz she moved to other school. Rumah pon dah duduk jauh kat Shah Alam. Sedih sgt. But what to do. Ade la jgk once in a while, we talked on the phone tapi dah jarang la. Masing2 dah ade life sendiri. But when SPM is over, ntah mcm mane both of us become close again. Hmm maybe through Myspace kot. See, sape kate internet ni byk keburukan? Hehe. Start from there we become close again. Every semester break, we always make a plan for gathering. But sumtimes agak susah jgk la cuz we're busy so everytime bile dapat jumpe we will have a good time and appreciate it because we know mmg susah nak jumpe. Last Sunday, me, Fiera and Syaz berbuka puase kat Mid Vall. We captured it a lot so that we will always remember the moment. Bila jumpe asyik nak gelak je. Always with our jokes! Stupid jokes actually tapi yang bodo tu la yang lawak! Haha.

I really hope this friendship will last forever. To be honest, of all my friends, dgn Fiera la aku paling byk ade sweet memories that i will never get rid of. More memories to come as we grow older and more exciting life experience we will face and i hope we will always be there for each other. Love u lots Fiera! xoxo

p/s : Credits to Syaz for taking this beautiful pics. Jgn kate aku curik gambar kau plak weyh!

What kind of Phobia is this?

I think, each and everyone of you people ade certain phobia. Kadang2 tu yang merepek2 pon ade. Takut dgn tinggi la, takut tikus la. Mcm my mum, sgt takut dgn katak. Me, im more of the girl yg takut tikus! Ok, now i have figured it out that ade lagi satu benda yang aku takut sgt and i dont know what should i call it. Maybe future phobia. Yes, im so obsessed about my future and what its gonna be like.

Theres always a question in my head. Stupid ridiculously question la. For example like, i always obssesed about what will happen to me in 10 years time. What if i didnt get any job? What if my current boyfriend that im so in love with for almost 6 years will not be my future husband? What will happen to me if i cant have my own child? What will happen to me if my husband is seeing someone else behind my back? What if he wants to marry other women? What if something bad happen to me that i cant think of anything else beside taking pills and off to the grave? And the question of 'what if' goes on and on non stop! Seriously pathetic and stupid of me to think about all this but i cant help it. Always there in my head. Padehal, benda ni semua lambat lg then why i have to think about it? Thats the problem!

Is it just me or is there anyone else have the same phobia like me? I hope so. If not, i am so sick and need to consult with someone. Im scared to death to think about this crap. Yes, it is crap! And why i still think about this? I have no idea. Maybe i should have strong faith in everything. I want to be that girl who is strong and can face anything. But im so afraid that im so fragile and weak. Can i handle this situation? Omg, please. I hope all the 'what if' things that i kept thinking wont happen to me. Slalu la jgk aku doa so that all the bad things wont happen. But i know, mane ade life yang senang. Ade la jgk once in a while we will face certain problems and obstacles but hopefuly tak la teruk sgt. I dont think i can handle that well. Hopefuly, my future will be okey. And hopefuly this stupid phobia will fade away. I love myself and i dont want anything bad happen to me. Insyallah.

Bohsia

Hmm, dah tgk ceite bohsia? Hmm, tgk lah, then let me know what you think of this movie. To me, this movie ade la yg ok and ade yg ko. Tapi hero dia handsome weyh! Rempit pon rempit lah! Hahah! I just watched this movie. Ceite ni agak pelik sket. Cause, i think this movie has no intro, no climax and no ending. Just simple story. At first, i taught what the hell? Then bile pike balik, sape yang buat rules kate semua filem kena ade climax plak kan? To me, filem kalau cerite tu bagus dah cukup. X de climax pon x pe. Sumtimes, ceite2 yg lain, climax ade but no moral values lansung. Then what for? Aku rase ceite ni kalau org betul2 concentrate and feel it, this is one great movie.

Stop comparing Malaysian film dgn Hollywood cause admit it, we are far left behind. If we keep comparing our local movies dgn Hollywood's masterpiece mmg smpi bile2 lah x kan menang. Judge the movie based on the story and no comparing. From there, we can know if the film is good or not. Ok lah, ceite ni ade la a few scene yang agak dirty and sx yang aku x brape agree sgt but the truth is scene2 yang mcm ni la yang bole buat kan org sedar yg kite x nak smpi jadi mcm tu. As a women, kite tak nak org treat kite mcm sampah dlm ceite bohsia ni. So kalau x de scene2 yang mcm ni, mmg kurang feel. Kesedaran tu x de. But kalau amik pelakon yang bukan islam pon lagi better i think. X la controversy sgt.

Aku tertarik nak tgk filem ni cause i have read in the newspaper before review about this movie and so far more to positive. The cast pon, bukan muka2 typical filem mcm Fasha Sandha and Rosyam Nor. Pelakon2 smua yang usually berlakon drama je. So, its good la at least x la bosan sgt. I like Amy's character. Super fierce! No wonder la menang award haritue kat Festival Filem Malaysia. Watak Acai pon mmg rempit habis lah. Rase nak sepak je! But x nak, sebab dia comel! Haha.

Once in a while, jgn la dok layan ceite Hollywood je. Balance kan lah jgk. Ceite local pon tgk la jgk cause the truth is, ade jgk local film yang bagus. Tgk dulu baru nilai. Tapi, ceite Bohsia ni mmg different. Aku pon cam pelik cuz ceite ni x de climax cuz ceite dia simple je but full with something. Huh, ape aku ckp nih? x pe lah, biar aku sorang je faham. Hopefuly, one day aku boleh buat ceite mcm ni. X jadi director pon x pe but if miracle do exists then katekanlah one of my story di jadikan drama or filem and the director is Syamsul, Ahmad Idham, Kabir Bhatia or Rashid Sibir, omg terharu ok! Seronok giler! Insyallah one day. Nak sgt. But i dont know if i have the talent or not but i will try.When you do something that you enjoy and you love, you will never get bored. Thats what i've been telling myself. So, Bohsia mmg superb! the cast is superb! Cinematography pon superb! Cheers to Shamsul Yusof!

Ramadhan is here!

Yeah, tonite semua dah start bertarawih. Me too. Haha, hajatnye this time of Ramadhan, i dont wanna miss any tarawih. Kalau malas nak g masjid, tarawih kat rumah pon boleh. I love Ramadhan. I dont know why. Sometimes its hard to describe your feeling in words. Bulan Ramadhan ni, if you do any good deeds then the reward will be double. Kalau buat dosa pon berganda jugak la. Thats why people always said that, byk kan recite the Quran during Ramadhan cause pahalanye berlipat ganda.

Everytime bila bulan puasa start, sure aku teringat yang my dad suka sgt ajak buka puasa kat luar and yeah he just love to go to the Bazaar Ramadhan. Borong byk gile makanan. Bole cover buka puasa for 1 week! Paling best makan murtabak. Haha. Murtabak ni mmg sinonim with my family. All my uncles, cousins pon dah tau. Everytime bulan puase mesti beli murtabak. Padahal, murtabak tu bukan time puase je ade, tapi bila bukan time Ramadhan, x de pon beli. If my dad went to the bazaar alone or without me, he still remember what i like to have for buka puase. Selalu dia beli air kelapa dgn nasi lemak! Sweet rite? Sometimes, when my stomach already full pon i forced myself to eat it just to jaga hati my dad. End up, rosak diet! Haha, but its worth it. My dad suka.

Just now my dad bagi i something. Dia bagi newspaper ads yang ade list of hotel and cool restaurant to buka puasa and he asked me to keep it. Haha, suka betul aku kalau buka puase kat hotel. Kalau dah buffet, screw diet lah! Tibai je melantak semua makanan! haha. Last Ramadhan paling best buka puasa kat Sunway Hotel. Sedap teramat! Western, Malay food smua aku bantai! On that time, i already set in my mind, its ok just eat it, you can regret later! Haha. Sanggup, makanan punye pasal!

It feels so good to spend your Ramadhan with your family and friends. Family the most. Bila bangun pagi nak sahur, semua muka ngantuk je x nampak mata. Tgh kunyah nasi pon mata tutup! Hehe. Klakar! I love Ramadhan. I always looking forward for Ramadhan. I just love the feeling. Nak buat benda yang baik pon rasa seronok. This ramadhan, im craving for Nasi Tomato and Ayam Masak Merah. Hopefuly dpt la esok or bile2 lah for buka puasa. Every year, i hope that this Ramadhan will be better then before. So, im trying to make the best out of it. Bukan la nak riak ke ape. I know that im not perfect, obviously x terlepas dari buat salah, but i always try my best to get the benefits from Ramadhan. Just like the others.

Screw you spot questions!

Im not in a mood actually. Yesterday was my arabic mid term exam and i think i can pass but cukup2 makan je. At first i taught i can score better cause i have all the spot questions, not from my ustazah but from my friends ustaz. He did gave a hint on what to concentrate on and which page that is really important. So i taught great! Tak kan ustaz nak tipu plak kan. So, dengan semangatnye i memorized all the answers for the questions yang kononye akan kuar in the exams. I mean it, i memorized everything. Even for the essay question!

I went to exam venue feeling confident and i never feel this way before mase nak exam arab sebelum ni. Then when the examiner said we can open the paper, omg! Most of the question yang kononye kuar x de! Ade la a few but all the topics that i read and memorized semua x kuar! My hand was shaking and i cant believe it! I dont know what happen, maybe they change the questions last minute or ustaz tu tipu but tak kan ustaz nak tipu student plak? But too late.

I kept telling myself to try my best because that is all i can do. I think i can pass it. Like i said cukup2 makan je. Yang paling x puas hati tu, usually, for the essay questions, diorg akan tanye from the text book which i have prepared. Suddenly, the question is 'Ramadhan in Malaysia'. Ha ape aku nak tulis? If its in english sure la piece of cake, tapi ni in arabic weyh! One thing i know yang aku buat betul for the essay is, i wrote ' Ana uhibbu ramadhan fi malezia '. It means i love ramadhan in Malaysia, and the rest is just crap! Haha! But nak sedih2 pon for what, what done is done. The moral is, study semua and dont study yang spot2! sometimes, ustaz2 pon x bole pakai. And dont study last minute. If you study last minute, and when you know the spot question, topic lain mmg confirm x baca dah la and end up bile kuar yang x spot, menggigil! Sigh...

Al-Fatihah

Ketua kumpulan nasyid terkenal Asri Ibrahim telah pulang ke rahmatullah pada pukul 11 pagi di Hospital Pantai. From what i heard, meniggal sebab sakit jantung. This is all too sudden. I always love his beautiful voice especially for takbir raya. Every Raya morning, when i heard his voice for takbir raya, i feel so peaceful. Suara dia mendayu-dayu. Lagu2 nasyid dia pon unik and totally different. Rabbani is one of my favorite nasyid group besides Raihan, Saujana and Brothers. Not a big fan of the latest nasyid group actually cause for me, they are so average and i think they just do it for the money. Nak glamor lebih la. I still remember when i was standard 5, aku masuk pertanding nasyid dengan 5 baiduri which is my class. Dalam group aku ade about 10 girls. Yang aku ingat ade Sarah, Aifaa, Sharafina, Nisa, Hamizah and yang lain aku x ingat sangat. Kitorg nyanyi lagu Rabbani which is lagu Maal Hijrah. Menang first place ok! Sweet memories. I really like him because he is a nice person and i've seen him before in Singgahsana Hotel twice mase berbuka puasa dengan family aku few years back and the last time i saw him bulan puase last year. He is so friendly. Its a big lost actually. I still cant believe it. I hope they still have the copy of the takbir raya by him cause i want to hear it raya tahun ni since bulan puase pon dah nak start next week. No one can replace him. A legendary in Nasyid entertainment. Seriously one in a million. Rest in peace Ustaz Asri. Pergi mu tiada pengganti. Al-Fatihah.

Hottest women ever!

Everytime when i asked any guys who is the hottest sexiest women on earth, Jawapan nye mesti 3 minah ni. Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba or Megan Fox. X de pompuan lain ke? Am i the only one who thinks that diorg ni normal je? I mean not that hot smpi semua male species adore them like crazy! I think the reason of course will be their pouty irresistable lips. In my opinion, i think the hottest women ever will be Yulia Volkova. She's from Tatu, Russian Band. Remember the song All The Thing She Said and All About Us? Check out the video. She is so hot especially with her boy cut spiky hair! I like her pretty beautiful pair of eyes. I think if i get to see her in real life, i might kiss her cause she is the best female creature ever!

Russian girls semua lawa2. Seriously i cant deny it! In fact, lagi lawa then mat2 salleh in US mostly. I like her the most in Friend or Foe video clip. I love her spiky hair and she looked extremely hot ok! I watched that video like thousand times already and damn i wish i could meet her, and hug her. Ok, i sound like a horny lesbian here. Its just that i think she is so beautiful. So pretty, so hot, so sweet. All in one! Here are some of other women that men usually dont think of them as hot but i think they are hotter like fire burning! Check it out!

This is Natalie Imbruglia. She is one of my favorite singer back in the 90's until now. Her eyes also shines like crystal and her eyes drive me crazy! During the 90's she has this short boy cut hair and she looks super sexay. Even when now she is comfortable with long hair, she is still pretty! Check her out in one of her music video 'Wrong Impression'. Super sweet like honey bunny!

This is Mena Suvari. She is one of my favorite actress in Hollywood. I love her ever since i watched American Beauty. In that movie, her character is a trouble teenager. Still she look cute in a naughty way. Her eyes is also irresistable. In the movie Rumor Has It, she is Jenifer Aniston sister and in that movie, she is so cute that i want to hug her! Especially the part where she was crying wanting to see her sister. Such a cutie.

This is Olga Kurylenko. Her name is so classy. She is one of the hottie in James Bond movie. I cant get enough of her big dreamy pair of eyes. She looks like Angelina Jolie here with that pouty lips but her beautiful eyes that attracts me the most!

This is Winona Ryder. She is one of the guest star in all times favorite show Friends and i like her the moment i watched her on friends. I like to watched her in Edward Scissors Hand. She also has the prettiest eyes that no one can deny.

Nelly Furtado is one of my all time favorite singer ever since her hit single ' Im Like A Bird'. Her eyes is not that big and pretty like the others, but i just love her exotic look. Her eyes is like hiding so much dark secrets. Ok, i can be so imaginative at times. But one thing i know, i just love to look at her without knowing the actual reason. It just happen. Like i said, maybe it is because of her exotic style

Ashley Olsen is beautiful the way she is. I also like her twin Mary Kate Olsen but i think Ashley is better and i dont know why. Maybe her eyes is prettier. I grew up with Ashley Olsen. I mean, when i was little, i watched all her movies like a zillion times and i love her since i was a kid. She is cute too when she was little and its not a surprise that she grow up and become one of the prettiest women. At least for me. Her eyes is the best part of her!

My girl Lindsay Lohan. Love to watched her in The Parent Trap back during the 90's. I really taught she has a twins! I love her even more after i watched Freaky Friday, Mean Girls and Just My Luck. I think she looked twice as hot as the way she actually look in her hottest movie I Know Who Killed Me. In that movie she's a stripper. Enough said! Haha. I love her sweet pretty face and her smile and her laugh is so contagious. I believed that if she quit partying and concentrate more on her acting, she can easily grab the Oscar cause this lady got the talent!

Yoanna is the winner of America Next Top Model season 2. She is the best! From all the winners, i like her the most. She is elegent, confident, fierce and unique in her own way. But most of it, i love her short stylo hair and her eyes is so sexay!

This is Scarlet Ortiz. One of the best spanish actress. Love her in Secreto De Amor. She is like a walking Barbie Doll. So perfect! I like her long straight hair and her face is so pretty even without make up. Everytime when i see her cry on tv, i wish i could wipe her tears! She's like an angel!

Okey, that is super lenghty bla bla bla. Cant help it. I just love all this women. They are the best female creature ever breathing on earth! Haha, take that! I really wish that i could meet them but i have no idea why. Maybe just to see the beautiful of gods creation. Haha. If anyone ask me which body part that i like the most in my body, i will definitely say my eyes! And please take note that im not a lesbian. Im happily taken. I just adore them. Like crazy. I believe that even when they get old later, they still look pretty to me. Screw Angelina, Alba and Megan. I dont think they are that hot. Just pretty average. By the way, ini bukan my ranking tau. Just simply letak je. But the first will be Yulia of course! Pretty big eyes, whats not to love? :)