Tal Y Como Soy

Mr.Boyfie

2011-05-15T08:40:00.002+08:00

Happy 89 months anniversary. He's part of my life since i was in high school and i always thought high school lover is cute!

How can i not fall for his eyes? How can i not fall for him every time when he cracked me up with his jokes? How can i not fall for him when all he talks about is his future with me.

Yeah, he made a mistakes before. I made a mistakes before. We both got hurts. But no one is perfect. Even after so long of being together, i still feel super excited when i wanna go out with him. He has taught me so much and maybe in a hard way but lesson learned and i love him even more.

I juz love having a long conversation with him. There are time when i feel like what was i thinking to be in this long relationship? And he knows how to remind me back. Looking forward to more anniversary with you and enjoying the ride.

I LOVE YOU MR.BOYFIE!

P/s: I swear im smiling alone right now in my bed room with my pajamas still on. Gonna hit the shower in a few minutes. Happy Sunday :)

Thank you bitches!

2011-05-02T01:28:00.003+08:00

Hey ya peeps! Finally have the chance to blog since im still not sleepy yet although its pretty late now. What the heck, it's public holiday tomorrow! I dont know why but i kept thinking about high school a lot lately. Well, they said that there must be some memories there that makes me cant stop thinking about it. Its either good or bad memories. To me, its a blend of both. But i think i have more bad memories there since girls school is synonym with bitches. Even until now. Yeah here's a thing that i wanna blog about.

Those bitches who made my tears flow like a river back then, i already forgive you but i will never forget what you did.

Thank you for laughing at me. Yea i know i was a nerd but that doesn't mean you can go around and laugh about it as if you are cool enough. I bet you too feel insecure and by making fun of me will make you feel better.

Thank you for making fun of my frizzy curly hair. There are times when i cant even look at myself in the mirror. You can ask a friend of mine, Aizat Khairudin how much i cry my eyes out and i called him in the middle of the night complaining about my hair although i know nothing much he can do about it.

Thank you for saying that i need to grow up just because my pencil case is like a 10 year old girl. Do you expect everyone to be like you? Dont u ever heard of individuality and diversity bitch?

Thank you for giving that kind of face as if im not belong in your so-called group and thank you for saying that i need a huge make over to make guys fall for me. Guess what babe, i think when i had my first boyfriend when i was 15, you are still boyfriend-less!

Thank you for making fun of my taste in music. Well, do you think you're cool enough juz because you're not into the mainstream music? Sometimes the one who tried so hard to be individual is the one that people call pathetic. Whats wrong of enjoying the bubblegum pop music and boy bands?

Thank you for making fun of my indian blood but at least i dont look like a typical malay like you bitches! Im so proud of this blood and there's nothing to be ashamed of!

Thank you for bullying me and destroying all my stuff when im in class. You have no idea how much i cried every time when i got back from school.

Thank you for spreading false rumor about me but at least somebody told me about your true colors and opened up my eyes that i can never trust you again!

Thank you for rejecting me from the cheerleading tryout just because you want some German transfered student to be in your team although she is 10 times fatter than me and how the hell she wanna jump and move her ass like a cheerleader but im sooo fucking happy when your team lose! If you think by having some transfered student in your team could make you win, well the judges are not stupid like you!

Thank you for calling me shorty for years! So what? You're making fun of god's creation is it? Suit yourself! Well, because of my 154 cm height, people kept thinking that im still 18 now and too bad you look like a mother now! Karma's a bitch huh? Told ya!

Thank you for making fun of my Simpson's birthday cake when i was 15. That is super rude since i invited you to my so-called party and is that how you talk to me who invited you to my house? I guess, your mama didn't teach you enough about how to behave.

Thank you for making fun of my thick eyebrow. Hey, who said that every girls have to pluck their eyebrow? Who made that stupid rules?? Tell me!

Thank you for making me cry myself to sleep for 5 years in high school.

Fucking thank you bitches! I forgive you but i remember you! Right now as im almost 24, i never give a shit about what haters gonna say! Im comfortable in my skin and if you still think of me as the nerd from high school, well up to you. Anything to make you happy. If you're laughing at me before and still laughing now, trust me that im laughing way louder than you!

I dont need to mention the names of all this bitches as some of them are still my friends until now. But trust me, i remember everything!

Yes, its been ages since high school, but try to walk in my shoes, then you will know.

P/s : Yes, i forgive you even when you never ever say sorry to me... (owh, it feels so relieved to let it all out here. Now i can look forward!)

Sorority life. Well.... used to.

2011-04-16T23:52:00.003+08:00

Peeps peeps! Hey, i was so caught up with my work since Monday that i got no time to blog but its funny how i still have time to Tumblr. Well, nice pictures sometimes can soothed me from all the mess. I was juz looking through some of my old photos and this picture got my attention.

Being 19 at this time is so much fun. Just imagine that im so enjoying myself that i never study at all. My academic is the last thing on my mind during that time. This is the time that i got my freedom that i've been waiting for years since high school. Not totally freedom but at least more space to do what i want. But sometimes, when i think about it again, freedom can damage ourselves when we dont know how to control it.

I met lots of great people this time and here are some of them. Its hard to stay in touch with them once when we moved to main campus in Gombak a year later. Whats left is just a memories. I still remember that i love spending time with them every night. We had the best time ever just by hanging out together.

At this time, Aza and Emy is my roommate. We stayed in level 3 and our friends room is exactly above our room which is in level 4 so sometimes we just communicate from the window by just screaming out loud. So its either we go to their room or they came to our room to watch dvd, gossiping and just chit chatting. Gosh, i really miss it so much.

The room is so small so whenever we watched dvd, we have to squeezed in a bit cuz there's 10 girls in one room including Aisya and Yana who came all the way from other block just to hang out with us. We will switch off the light, get cozy with the blanket and watch the movie. I love watching Thriller with them! :)

They also love to borrow my magazines and i dont mind. We had the best time ever. Maybe its sort of like a sorority club but not the official one. We always there for each other and we always know how to cheer up each other but of course we do have some issues. But at the end of the day, when everyone are there, its hard to remain mad with them.

We also love to dance together in the room especially dancing to some hindi songs! Basically, all i can say is that, we really had fun together. We even sneaked out just to go to the mall. There's one time, Me and Aza have to stay inside Aisya's car boot so that the guard wont see us. Its so damn funny to think about it again man! There are some sweet and bitter memories there.

Dont let some stupid silly argument ruin the friendship. You will regret it for the rest of your life. Thats why its hard for me to stay mad at someone for so long. Because i know that i will miss each and one of them so much.

P/s : God bless them. Love!

Label much?

2011-04-10T23:33:00.002+08:00

I pity those people who judged others a lot when the truth is they actually dont know a thing about being in other peoples shoes. How can they be so sure and confident in labeling people as if they know the entire story of other peoples life?

For years, i got labels all the time. Its like written all over my face ever since in high school but i choose to ignore it even sumtimes its hard. Well, for the past few weeks, i was thinking, Fuck screw them. Im done pleasing people and trying to be someone else so that people wont label me but i guess i cant please everyone but myself. So if people call me childish, or retard or geek or drama queen, i dont give a damn anymore. I dont wanna live in other people's prison. Im gonna do it my way. Right now, what im looking for is anything that can make me happy. Anything.

P/s: Living in your own world is better rather than trying to bring people down by making fun of them. Peace out!

The Small Things

2011-04-05T00:54:00.002+08:00

People tend to focus on getting rich and filthy filthy rich. They measure someone's happiness from the amount of cash in their bank. But its not a surprise that those who have a zillion of money sometimes feel empty, alone and...dead.

We need to be thankful on what we have got so far. Sometimes, even the smallest things can make us happy or at least put a smile to our face. For me, if i have a rough day, that vanilla ice cream from McDonald that only cost RM1 can brought smile to my face again. Yeah, i got pissed really fast and the next thing i know, im smiling again. Hormone problem i guess.

For now, i just wanna lie down in the garden and have a picnic with my best friends and just gossiping non stop. And also enjoying cheese cake together. Simple right?

I wanna do the things i like. I wanna make myself happy because all this while i have been so caught up with pleasing people to the extend that i dont even know what i want for myself. So my life right now is go to work in the morning and go back home at night. When i reached home, i feel so relax when im in front of my computer and got nothing to stress about. Just chat with some old friends, try to stay in touch with everyone and for now, im blogging although my eyes is kinda sleepy. Well, to me the night is still young.

Right now, im in a state where im hooked in reading novels. My mind can go pretty wild when i imagine everything that i read. The feeling is just awesome. Dont be surprise if you see me smiling to myself while reading my novel in the lrt. Thats because i got the goosebumps when i imagined the character comes to reality. Haha.

P/s : So am i a fantasy girl that Caprice is looking for? I doubt that! hahaha :)

Lunch Delivery.

2011-04-04T00:45:00.005+08:00

Hey ya bloggers, or readers? Haha. Its been ages since the last time i updated my blog. Well, lots of things happened lately and i dont know where to start to tell you guys. Its just that i have been so caught up with my work and stuff. Gosh, i dont even have time for myself. I promised to myself that i dont wanna be a workaholic and a slave to my job. That will never happen. I dont want to wake up in the morning and go to work, head back home at night and go straight to bed. The same routine again and again. Where's the life man??! Haha...

So no matter how busy i am, i tried to do something for me, and not for my job. Like.... hmmm i read my novel on my way to work and in the lrt. I tried to chat with my friends while im busy in the office, tried so hard to go back home early so i can have a proper dinner with my family and watch tv, twittering, tumblring, facebooking, and blogging. I called it my escapism baby!! But trust me, its hard to squeeze in the time!

Yea so thats what they call it, the things that you do for money aite... I love my job. Way better than my other job before. But there's too much work! I dont wanna complain but i hate the fact that i have to go back home at night and sometimes i have to continue my work at home.. At this time, i am suppose to do my work which the dateline is tomorrow noon but instead, here i am blogging about it. Yeah thats pretty much.

So here i am, on Saturday, working my ass off but still have time to have a break and camwhoring when there's no one in the office. Haha. Well, to cheer me up that day, i treated myself with McDonald for lunch and of course its delivery straight to my table. And thats why they called it fast food rite...

Im a happy kid when i got my double cheese burger. Yummylicious lah! :)

P/s : Sunday almost come to end. Monday is creeping me out. Hopefully it will b a good week. If its not, i will try my best to make it awesome! Muaxxx :)

Pretty little liars

2011-02-06T09:49:00.009+08:00

Hey peeps! Its Sunday. Love Sunday! Okay, so last Thursday, i went back to my hometown since its a long break and my mom forced me. Of course i dont wanna go back since it is so boring there. So to avoid boredom, i brought a novel with me as a distraction. This is the book.

I bought this novel at Kinokuniya KLCC months ago. I've heard about it before and when i saw it there at the book shelves, of course i have to take it despite the price. Even the book cover is scandalous enough. I just love to read girlish novel especially when it involves secrets, scandal or even death! That is just great. When i read the synopsis of the book, i know that this is the book im looking for. So let's see if Sara Shepard can be as good as Kate Brian. Or maybe better?

Well for now, its still early to tell since i haven't read the rest of the novel series yet. But while i was there at my hometown, i got hooked with this novel and i cant stop reading it and i managed to finish reading this only for 2 days and i feel like im craving for more.... Hopefully the 2nd book, Flawless is in store already and hopefully it will be better!

When i read a novel, i always try to relate myself with the main character of the story. You know, just for fun and see if it can really connect. Well, in this novel, there are 4 characters and i try to relate with at least one of the character. Before i explain that, let me introduce these hot girls okay....

This is Hanna. She's a Paris Hilton look alike. I mean not the face but more of the attitude. She used to be a dorky girl 3 years back and now she is 16 and she's the it-girl in school. Super thin and of course with that body figure, she suffer an eating disorder. Bulimia. She has a very low self esteem when she's alone but no one knows about that but herself. She's dating the hottest guy in school who pledge to stay virgin until marriage and that drive her insane!

This is Spencer. The miss know-it-all in her high school. She's one of the best student and not only in academic but also in other activity. She always envy her older sister who is also one of the best student in the school before and that is what motivates her to do more. She's totally in love with her sister's boyfriend and that makes her relationship with her sister become worse. Even when she's the perfect daughter for getting a good grades and obviously will nail it in University later, of course she has some weakness and that will be, flirting with her own sister's boyfriend. Totally wrong!

This is Emily. A very obedient daughter to her parents. But lately she realize that she's not normal. Ever since she got a new neighbor living next door name Maya she has no feeling sanymore to her boyfriend. All she could think about is the smell's of Maya's hair, her sexiness and she enjoyed hanging around with her. Everything changed when her boyfriend saw her kissing Maya and she know that she's not into boys anymore and that freaks her out. But she feels so good to have a best friend like Maya who she can totally share anything with. Even her tongue. Euw enough.

And the last girl is Aria. She has some issue with her own personality. For years she tried to be anything. Artsy Aria, Punk Aria and so many different character. Her darkest secret is she's having a scandalicious relationship with her own teacher Ezra. Well, they actually met at a bar before the school starts and they had no idea at all that they will b in a student-teacher relationship after that. But, when they found out, it didnt stop their romance. They got closer and Aria feel special and she didnt care about boys her age anymore. Its all about Ezra now. When she has tried so many different character, of course she's good at covering the secret.

From all the girls story, Hanna's story is the least that i like. I feel like there's no secret and drama in her character. I mean, its not enough drama. But the character that i feel related to the most is Aria. I dont know why but i love her story. Maybe i know and i understand what it feels like to have a personality problem. At one time, u wanna be girlish and at one time u juz wanna explode and emo for no reason. I used to be that or am i still like that? Hahahaha i have no idea. And Aria is the shortest and have the thickest eyebrow. That is sooooo ME.

This is the new novel series that i will start to follow. How can i ignore this type of novel. Totally my favorite!

p/s : Kate Brian, u definitely have a competitor now!

Why so serious?

2011-01-22T23:50:00.004+08:00

Hey peeps. Its been awhile, i know. I've been busy lately and i dont really like to blog when im not in the mood so that explains. So what i wanna blog about? Hmm, lately, i feel like im taking this life way too serious? To the point when i feel like its wrong to even laugh and smile! Aiyoooo thats dangerous la. I might get a depression if i continue like this. Or am i already depressed? Well, that is subjective so its hard for me to say. But what i know is that, im so serious lately. Yes, i have some happy time when i go crazee and all but i know myself better and i know that the beginning of this year is not that good. I repeat, not good!

But its beyond my control and what's done is done. No point if i wanna continue to be sad about it. Im trying my very best to look forward but all i could think about is my past. Why is it so hard for me to let go the past? Somebody said that i am selfish cuz i dont want the time to go. Well, its true..

I admit that the future makes me scared. But stuck in the past also is scary. Part of me still back during the days. Every time when i hang out with my school friends, i always talked about our school time together especially all the stupid jokes that we used to laugh before. And they said that, i always talked about it every time we met. So, is that bad? :(

And now, since im no longer UIA student, i miss that life so much that it brought tears to my eyes when i think about the fact that it wont be the same again. That time has gone. All just a memories now.

P/s : I guess i really miss the old times

Money cant buy happiness. U think?

2011-01-05T23:18:00.010+08:00

Hey peeps! how u're doin? Guess what? I have a doubts now! This is not good. I hate this feeling. The feeling of not sure what do you want and u cant choose because you're confuse. Get it? Yeah, it sounds weird but.... hmmmm how can i put it in words? Have u ever wonder why some homeless people still able to smile and juz live the day? Have you ever wonder why the rich people sometimes have no time at all to chill and have fun? Have you ever wonder why people said that money cant buy happiness?

But in Gossip Girl, Blair Waldorf used to said that those who believed in that quote actually dont know where to shop! What a materialistic! Then again, everyone wants to have lots of money and we tend to assumed that when we have money, there will be no problem. Anything that you wanna get, anything that you wanna do, you can get it all done. Just like that!

But have you ever wonder that sometimes, to be happy doesn't mean that we have to spend the money. What i mean is, its who u're with and how much you treasure the moments can still make you happy right? For some kids, they dont need to go to Disneyland to have the fun. They dont have to get the latest Playstation to have the fun. Whenever they're with their friends and just play some silly, stupid games, did you see how happy they were? Isn't that simple?

Whats your definition of happy? For me, im not sure because back then im really sure what i want. All i want is to have a really good job and have a good money so i can do whatever i like anytime i want. But i realize that its a long way. You're gonna face lots of pressure, tension and struggle to get there. And that is if you're lucky. Sometimes, people work really hard but they still didn't get there. Don't you think its exhausting that you have been studying for years and you have prepared yourself for future since you were a kid! That's pretty exhausting right? Your parents depends on you to get a good result so that they can impressed other people with our achievement. Its a burden that we have to carry with us for years! You have to get a good result to get into University, then its another struggle cause u must get a really good cgpa to get a good job. And when you got a job, u have to work hard to get a better position and better income.

So when is the time that you can actually lay back and dont have to think about it? By the time, you already got a good income, you will realize that you're 40! And you know that time really flies that you didn't get a chance at all to have fun when you're young. What a waste!!

For me, i have lots of needs. I love to go shopping and i wanna travel all around the world. But i need lots of money to fulfill all that dreams. In order to get that, i have to work my ass off. Have to sacrifice a lot of things. But by that time, im already old! Sometimes i kept asking myself, why im struggling so hard to impress those people i dont even like! Such a waste of time dont you think? Sometimes i think that if im a simple girl, who doesn't need 30 handbags and 10 jeans in the closet, my life will be better and no pressure. I dont demand too much when it comes to salary. I juz work, and get the money with no pressure.

Maybe just work at restaurant as waitress or something. When i get the money, i spend it wisely and still know how to have fun. Maybe juz chilling with family and friends for a picnic or just watch movie and play bowling. That wasn't bad right? But then again, im not that girl. That kind of a girl will keep doing the same thing again and again and just for the sake of money to continue living. But for me, i wanna do lots of different things. I wanna travel and see other culture. I wanna go shopping anytime that i like. But part of me wish that im just a simple girl who doesn't give a shit at all about that things. My life will be simpler and more fun!

I really wish that i can go travel and have a better future. But at the same time, i don't want to be that kind of a girl who are so obsess with her job and have no time at all to relax and enjoy. I wanna be fun all the way even when i know that there will be lots of thunderstorm along the way. Am i ready for that? Hopefully.

P/s : Brooklyn bridge, stay there! I will come someday!

2011 & New job

2011-01-01T23:27:00.006+08:00

Hey peeps! Guess what? its 2011 already. Duh, like u dont know. Well, hows your celebration? Mine was quiet and boring but at least i got to spend some quality time with my family and cousins. Around 11 pm last night i was thinking about what will be my resolution. I was flipping through my diary and tapping the pen but still i have no idea what to write in it. Sometimes the things that u didnt plan can turn out to be the best thing that ever happen to you for that year. So basically, what i wrote is that, i juz wanna be a better person. Hmmm, if u ask anyone, that will also be their resolution right? Hahaha. me too.

I cant believe i will turn 24 this year. Time really flies. Its scary sometimes to think about what will happen next and when i think about it again, there are something that i can control and some are destiny and faith that will bring me to the future. So, its not like i leave everything to god. I do have my own plans but i already learned my lesson. I dont wanna plan too much cause things might not happen the way i want it to be so i will just go with the flow.

For now, i have a job and i love it. Okay, maybe i juz like it. But at least i got a job. Ok, here's the reason why i like my job:

1) I love news editing

2) My boss is super nice and he's a malay

3) My office in near to KLCC so i have no problem about transportation

4) I really enjoyed the fact that my office is so close to KLCC n i feel very sophisticated when i walked there to my office. Hehehe

5) The toilet is clean!!!!

6) My office mate are cool

7) They have the best Karipap sardin!

But too bad, there are few things that i dont really like about my job

1) Starts at 10 until 6. On Friday, maybe 8 pm! Thank god Saturday and Sunday is holiday

2) It is super cold there! Maybe i should have a pashmina or something

3) The news that i suppose to edit is islamic finance news. Hello? Im so bimbo about that la!

4) I have to bring my own laptop everyday.... maybe for the time being

5) The food is super expensive

I guess thats it. We will see how it goes. Well, of course im excited about it. Super excited. But to be honest i dont like to work following working hours. I prefer to do anything that i like as a freelance job. That way, i can work whenever i like and i can enjoy anytime that i want. So if i work from monday to friday almost until night, that means now i have to divide my time for my family, my boyfriend, and my friends. It wont be easy. Im gonna miss them. But i will try my best to spend my time with them. After all, they are my source of strength, and happiness. What would i do without them.

This is the start for me to save up all the money to make my dreams come true. Los Angeles, New York, Paris, i will see you soon!

Los Angeles

New York, (Brooklyn)

Paris

Wrapping up 2010

2010-12-31T00:46:00.003+08:00

Its almost the end of 2010. 2 days left and say hello to a new year where everything is possible. Well, what can i say about 2010? I still remember my resolution for 2010 is to make this year interesting. Guess what? It is interesting! Lots of things expected and unexpected happened and i learned so much from it. It is a year that i will never ever forget. And when i think about it again, i cant believe that i survived! I guess im getting stronger as i get older.

2011 is the year that i will be working for money and we will see how it goes. Maybe its faith that brought me there and i thank god for it. Well actually, im kindda afraid to make lots of list about resolutions. Maybe i will juz keep it to myself :) This is the year that i got more friends and i love every second that i had with them. All the gossiping, karaoke session was amazing. This is also my final year as a degree student and of course there's so many things happened. I did remember how i cry my eyes out during my last day before the final exam. I guess that is how life goes. Nothing belong to us. Even the time. Its time for me to get out and see the world.

Im happy actually that my dad finally agreed to go on a family vacation and we went to Singapore. I had the best time and it makes me feel like i cant wait any longer to fly and see the world. Insyallah if god's will, i can go to all the beautiful places that i wanted to go so bad :)

Happy new year everyone. Finger cross and make a wish!

P/s: Those who wish to watch me fall, thank u. You have no idea how u have helped me to be stronger. I love you haters! :)

100 questions to kill the time :)

2010-11-25T00:55:00.004+08:00

Are you an innie or an outie? Depends on my mood but mostly outie
Have you ever written a song? Yeah but juz a words and thoughts and there's no melody
Can you make change for a dollar right now? Yeah
Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet? Yep, i think once. I really need to pee and i cant find female toilet so i simply entered male toilet. Luckily, there's no one!
Have you ever written a poem? Yes, since i was 15 :)
Do you like ketchup on or beside your fries? Beside of course
Have you ever been a boy/girl scout? Never
Have you ever written a book? Nope. Maybe someday. A book about me maybe? :P
Have you ever broken a mirror? Cant remember
Are you superstitious? Sometimes, but not that hard core like some people. But i do believe in the unseen things
What is your biggest pet peeve? Cats! They are needy and not cute. I used to have one and after he died, no one can replace him :(
Do you slurp your drink after it's gone? Yeah. Hehehe...
Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk? Ummmm... what for?
Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper? Double Cheese Burger lah!!
Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? No
Would you ever parachute out of a plane? Hell no! Too scared to do that!
What's the most daring thing you've done? Owh, i dont need to mention it here okay.
When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic? hmmm, plastic. Its a habit
True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza. - Nah, i dont usually eat steak. Gimme Pizza plz!!
Did you have a baby blanket? Used to. Not anymore. But im not sure if my mom still keep it.
Have you ever tried to cut your own hair? Yeah. I did that when i was 18 whenever im feeling depressed. Its how i deal with it. Weird huh? But ever since that, i cant remember when was the last time i get a hair cut at a salon cuz i cut it myself. My hair is curly so its easy!
How did that turn out? Juz nice and saving!
Have you ever sleepwalked? Nope, i dont think so
Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds? No, but i think that sounds fun! Hehehe
Can you flip your eye-lids up? Yeah when i was a kid. Im not sure if i can do that now. Maybe i watched too much of horror movie and im scared to do that!!
Are you double jointed? What???
If you could be any age, what age would you be? 15 :)
Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair? No. Thank you
Do you ride roller coasters? Love it! Hahahaha :)
What's your favorite carnival ride? Roller coaster of course!
What is your dream car? None. I know nothing about car!
What is your favorite cartoon of all time? Lots. But if i really have to pick, it will b Tom n Jerry. and also Donald Duck. I really love it when Donald's get mad!! Hahahaha...
Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit? Ewwwww, no la!!
If so, would you eat another one? No thanx
If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first? Try to unbuckle the seat belt and open the damn door and swim to the surface. Oh god, plz dont let it happen to me!!
Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Never
Can you pick something up with your toes? Yeah... pen?
How many remote controls do you have in your house? Omg, what kind of question is this> Of course i dont know.
Have you ever fallen asleep in school? Its like my part time job la.... hehehe
How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year? last year? Mayb once
How many foreign countries have you visited? Mekah, Madinah, Turkey, Phuket, Indonesia. I think thats all.
If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal? I dont think soooooo
Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy? Poor and happy. But not that poor lah. hehe
If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float? Float?
Do you ask for directions when you are lost? If i have to...
Have you ever held a Mexican jumping bean? Whats that???
Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland? Im more like.....me? hehehe
Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points? Wtf? I'd rather have none! hahaha
Do you prefer light or dark bread? anything goes...
Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs? both!! yummeh!
Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas? Cant recall, but i think no
Do you talk in your sleep? Maybe. No idea lah
Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn? Mow the lawn :)
Have you ever played in the rain? Of course!!! years ago :)
Did you make mud pies? nah.....
Have you ever broken a bone? weyyyyy! Nope. and hopefully never..
Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten? kitten? nah.... hehehe
Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? not really... alligator might b small? is it?
Do you drink pepsi or coke? I dont drink both!
What's your favorite number? 23 :)
If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car? sports car?
Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel? yeah... the card :)
Have you ever slipped in the bathtub? yeah.. hehehe
Do you use regular or deodorant soap? regular soap
Have you ever locked yourself out of the house? yeah.. its sooo funny!
Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices? Simpsons voice! Cowboy voice can b annoying sumtimes...
If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be? The Olsen!!!
Do you need corrective lenses? Think so, but im fine...
Would you hang out with / date someone your best friend didn't like? Yeah, its my choice.
Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn't like? Maybe..
Have you ever returned a gift? No. no reason to do that.
Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you? No, that will b kindda rude.
If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be? Gymnastic :)
If you could participate in an Olympic Event, what would it be? Swimming? Hehehehe
How many pairs of shoes do you own? Now? about 10..
If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her? Yeah
Do you sing in the car? Hell yeah. Thats what i do most of the time. I'll b sooo sleepy if theres no music while im driving!
What is your favorite breed of dog? Dunno
Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter? Yeah why not..
What is your favorite fruit? Grapes, Strawberry
What is your least favorite fruit? Cant recall
What kind of fruit have you never had? Cant recall
If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick? ZARA!!!
What brand sports apparel do you wear the most? Im not into sports lahhhhh
Are/were you a good student? Were... maybe..
Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat? None, cuz im super weak! hehe
If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in? no thanx!
What do you think is your best feature? My eyes :) My smile :)
If you were to win a Grammy, what kind of music would it be for? POP :)
If you were to win an Oscar, what kind of movie would it be for? Romantic comedy. hehehe
What is your favorite season? Malaysia got no season so i like September cuz its my birthday!! :)
How many members do you have in your immediate family? immediate family? family is it? errrr.... 5
Which of the five senses is most important to you? All are important :)
Would you be a more successful painter or singer? Maybe singer.
How many years will/did you end up going to college? 5 years maybe
Have you ever had surgery? Nope
Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player? Football player!!!
What do you like to collect? Songs, dvd's, handbags, accessories :)
How many collectibles do you have? Cant remember
What one question would you add to this survey? Who are you? I am ME :)

Random Question

2010-11-16T22:42:00.002+08:00

Do u still remember the time when Friendster is sooo famous and everyone kept posting about random question and asnwer on their home page? Well, its been ages since the last time i did that. I was looking at someone's blog and i saw there's a lot of random questions so i juz wanna fill the time. Here it goes :

Give me the names of 3 objects or things you love most and why?
My Serena(laptop), My Rebecka (car), My Regina(Handphone)... Cant live without it. And of course my jeans, clothes, shoes and handbags.... So many things that i love in my room lah...

Do you dream?
Yeah, its beyond my control. Sometimes i enjoyed it, sometimes i dont cuz it can be super scary!

Can you remember your last dream?
Ummm... yeah. It is scary. And weird in a way...

What are your goals in life?
To be the best version of myself even with flaws and mistakes.

How would you describe yourself?
Friendly, caring, cheerful, cute? Woooo did i juz mentioned all the good things? Hahaha :P

Tell me about your childhood?
I have some bad and sweet memories but i try not to blame anyone for that. I mean, i cant change it. Whats done is done right?

Give me 3 places you would like to go on a vacation?
A lot! But if i really have to choose 3, then it will be New York, Los Angeles and Paris. Can i add one more? Italy!!

Describe any accident you have seen or heard about?
My ex bf's brother Hadri got an accident last July and he passed away. Its a shame and a tragic lost actually cause he was asleep while driving and he got knocked into a lorry. Rest in peace Hadri.

When was the year you were the most happy and why?
15. First love and lots of great friends. I was a teenager that time. My life is not that great but it has lots of sweet memories. So definitely 2002 :)

When was the year you were not so happy and why?
2005 and 2006. Some shit happened but at least i still got my friends to keep me smiling. It was a terrible year for me and i wont forget it.

What turns you on about the opposite sex?
When they're so caring, sweet and funny

What turns you off about the opposite sex?
Show off, bad temper, sweet talker

What scares you the most and why?
Future. Cause my mind kept thinking that something bad will happen and i dont know if im ready to face it. I can be very negative sometimes...

What do you do in your free time?
Sleep? chilling with internet :)

Do you like chocolate?
Not really. But i do love Ferrero Rocher, Kinder Bueno and Daim!

Do you like rainy days or snowy winter days more?
Winter?? This is Malaysia lah.. Rainy days is okay but i dont like thunder storm!

Which is your favorite part of the human face and why?
The eyes cause it can tell so many things that the heart cant say. It can reach to your soul

What makes you bored?
Wondering what to do and you cant come up with anything!

Do you like spicy food and why?
Depends. But if its too spicy then no.

Which are your 2 favorite careers and why?
Scriptwriter cause i love to write and play with words. Or any jobs that can make u show your creativity. Involves art!

Which is the hardest thing you ever had to do?
Its a secret

Tell me about something you really regret?
When i was younger, i did lots of things without even think about the consequence.

Tell me about a mistake you made?
If its a mistake, then im gonna keep it to myself.

Tell me about someone in your family?
My lil brother is grown up. He dont want me to hold his hand when we went to the mall. Hahaha i think its cute! He's 11 and i still call him baby :)

Tell me about your favorite book, magazine or comic?
My favorite novel is by Kate Brian. She is genius! The story is juicier than Gossip Girl!

Tell me about someone you envy?
There's someone i really envy cause she has a high level of confident and i want that so bad!

Tell me about the last movie you've watched?
Life as we know it starring Josh Duhamel and Katherine Heigl. It was hilarious and of course Josh is soooooo yummy as usual! ;p

Tell me about your favourite music / song / band?
Seriously i cant pick one!

Tell me about something you would happily do again?
My last semester in UIA. They said that save the best for the last.

Name your 5 favorite foods?
Carbonara, Fried Kuey Teow, Roti Telur, Nasi Lemak, Pizza, French Fries, Vanilla Ice Cream and the list goes on........

Do you like to shop?
Hell yeah! Look at my closet!!

How often do you go online?
Most of the time when there's a connection and free time

Are you usually late, early or right on time?
Right on time i think?

Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
Yep yep!

Your best friend dies, what would you do?
No idea!!

What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
Friendship? i dont know lah

Are you old fashioned?
Sometimes...

If you could do anything OR wish for anything that would come true, what would you wish?
I wish that i could turn back the time. Soooo bad....

Whats your middle name?
Gorgeous?? hahahaha kiddin :)

How big is your bed?
Big enough for me to roll over and over!! :)

What music are you listening to right now?
Miley Cyrus! ;p

What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number?
**** :)

What was the last thing you ate?
Red bean bun :)

Who was the last person you hugged?
My lil bro.

How is the weather right now?
Juz nice....

Okay, thats all for now. Im still bored. How la??? Should i sleep now cause i think i had too much already!! :(

Final days

2010-11-04T10:36:00.004+08:00

Ok, where do i start? Words cant describe how im feeling right now. I have all this mixed up emotion and i dont know how to describe it. The time has finally come. I've been ignoring it as if it wont happen but it actually is. Its the end of my final semester in UIA. So u tell me how im suppose to feel. Im tired of feeling this way but i know that things will never be the same again. I've tried to be optimistic and keep telling myself that we will still be friends and nothing gonna change. But trust me, it will :(

The last day of my school year in Assunta, im not feeling sad at all. I dont give a damn about who im gonna miss the most. All i know is that im gonna leave and start a new life without turning back. But guess what? Im really fucking miss my school days! I wish that i spend more time with them and not taking things for granted. How i wish we can go back to the old days. So, right now, even when i still have few days left before i actually leave UIA, im really sad cause i know how much im gonna miss it and all the people that i met there. All the laugh and tears that they gave me will always remain in my memories. Time flies really fast and the next thing u know, its over.

I still feel like yesterday when i enter UIA in Gombak with a high determination to be a better person. How naive was i? 4 years has taught me a lot about people and im able to see this life in a different perspective. Im not judging people anymore cause i know there's always a story behind every action. Ive seen a lot of things and it has taught me a lesson that i will always remember for years to come.

During my first year in UIA, i am invisible. I got no friends and i eat alone at the cafe. Not that im complaining but it will be much fun if u have someone who accompany you right? During my first year, all i did is juz go to class, and go back to my room, watch movie alone and sleep like there's no tomorrow. So i guess im quiet independent cause i know how to have fun alone. On that time, all i could think about is i cant wait to get out from UIA and start working.

My life in UIA started to change when i reached 2nd level. I got more friends and i no longer eating alone. I have someone now. I started received an invitation to hang out and stuff and i enjoyed every second of it. The longer im in UIA, the more i love it. I love all the people and all the smile that i got when i bummed to peoples that i know and also the lecturers. I have so many close friends now and the fact that we're going to be separate and have our own life is pretty bizarre.

I wish that no matter how far we go, we will always remain friends and still keep in touch. I dont want it to be over just like that. I know im gonna meet more friends in the future but i still wanna keep my old friends cause they mean so much to me. Some of them, ive juz know them for months only. not even half a year but i feel like i have known them for years! how i wish i know them earlier so that we can spend more time together. I guess it is true when people said that 'save the best for last'. My final days in UIA probably one of the best thing that happened in me. While i still have few days left before they're gone, im gonna spend it wisely cause i know im gonna miss them so much! Tears are not enough.

p/s : will update when i feel like updating...

t.e.a.r.s

2010-10-13T00:30:00.005+08:00

Found this quote by Alex Tan :

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again

Right now, if i feel angry or sad, i usually cry and i never hold it. Sometimes i even have to go to the toilet. Yeah, i am a drama queen but that is how i deal with stress and sadness. I feel so much better after i cry my eyes out! Sobbing alone in the toilet may look like im weak eh? I dont care cause it works for me. If i dont cry, i might throwing tantrum and get mad like nuts! So which one is better?

I prefer to shut my mouth and let my eyes deal with it. Alone. Life is a bitch. Cry it out! Life is beautiful. Smile it out. Right now i wanna cry first. Maybe tomorrow i will smile again. Right?

P/s : No worries, the next thing i know, i'll be smiling and laughing like shit again. Hehe...

I've seen it all

2010-10-11T17:23:00.003+08:00

I've seen a situation where :

looks is not important to make people fall in love with. Its the attitude and kindness that counts.

people judge others from what they saw but the truth can be ugly.

a friend took an advantage of her bff

bright aura can light up the place even when that person is not that pretty

people are intimidated by others

a boy can be selfish like hell

a girl can be selfish like hell

someone suddenly shut their friend off cuz it reminds of their dirty secrets

someone have a low self esteem and damaging their self

people can keep the darkest secret just to continue breathing and smile

someone value friendship but others dont give a shit about it

a girl can sacrifice all the time just bcuz she love the friendship with that bitch

its a masquerade party all the way

Every day i witnessed lots of things. I've seen it all.

Open Hse & Friendship :)

2010-10-05T00:49:00.018+08:00

I really dont know what to say cause there's so may things going on for the past few weeks. Hmm, kerja yang x pernah la nak selesai. Well it is my fault cause suka sangat tangguh kerja. So whose to blame? Me! yeah. Hehehehe. Anyway, i wanna talked about my Raya open house last 2 weeks. Now i have a chance to blog about it cause i've been so busy. So here it goes...

I woke up as early as 7 am that morning just to continue preparing all the foods for the open house. Been working since the day before and still x siap2 lagi. Lots of things to do and kerja aku goreng ayam je. And just kemas2 mana yang patut. I told my friends that it will start at 2pm onwards. So around 1.30pm tu baru lah nak mandi. Mandi pagi tau. Hahaha. X lama lepas tu Syaz called me ckp dah sampai. X sempat aku nak touch up lagi wey! Hehe. But im glad that at least someone came. And not long after that Alif pulak datang dgn Fareeza, Faizal, Amin and Shahira. So, they are among the earliest to arrived. After that makin ramai plak yang datang from Uia and also Assuntarians. Im so happy!

This is Nabila. She is my bestfriends when i was little. I have known her since i was 9 and we're pretty close when we're in high school but high school drama always exists so we had a fight like few days after SPM exam is over and we've lost contact for years. Im really pissed with her during that time but now its been ages and she's married now and has a child so aku dah malas nak gaduh lama2. Its so high school so i decided to invite her. I cant even recall back why im so mad at her before. Funny huh? But im glad that we're good now. As if we never fight before.

And they said that friendship will last long if its a true friendship. Hehe.

Terkejut jgk cuz Rowiena datang dgn Naziera. Omg, its been ages. Last jumpa mase spm and after that, mmg senyap. At first both of them x nak masuk cuz x pakai baju raya, tapi aku tarik jgk. Relax la. X kan juz bcuz x pkai baju raya x nak masuk plak kan. Dan la lama gila x jumpa. hehe. Diorg ni pemalu sket depan camera kot? Really, ini pun dapat snap cuz dah nak balik. Mase ramai2 amik gambar, diorg x nak join. Sebok nak mkn je :P

Like Qila said, Juz like the old times... Hell yeah! Omg, kitorg ni dulu siblings tau. Qila is Along, im Angah and Fiera the middle one is Acik. Pffttt :) We're very close mase darjah 5 cuz kitorg ni librarian kat Assunta Primary dulu. We have sooooooo many sweet memories together and we still can laugh it out loud even until today when we recall back! Fiera mase darjah 5 is the smallest, the shortest but now dia la plak yang paling tinggi. Damn. Now, aku plak la yang pendek. Its okey, short is cute eh? I didnt say that, People did. Hehehe....

May this friendship will last long. Kan kan? hehe :)

Ini, geng shindoi but Nadia An & Syaz are not here. Im very close with them especially mase form 3. When i talked to them, mcm2 bahasa yang minah dua ni gunakan. Macam bahasa Thai pun ade.

Shindoi la wey! Hahahaha

Amalina, Ain, me, Tasya, Zetti and Qila. Glad that the three musketeers datang jugak haritu. Dgn Qila ade la jugak jumpa after high school but Zetti and Tasya memang dah lama x jumpa. Perangai still sama macam dulu. Cracked me up as usual! hehehe. Ama pun sama. Makin sihat kau kan? Hehe, wedding kau invite aku tau :)

Ni geng2 UIA or geng IIUM.FM. Diorg ni pun best jgk! Asyik nak gelak and bergossip je. Umm, im not talking about Munir and Fadly eh. Kononya lelaki kan x bergossip...Kiss my ass la! Haha. Thanx to Amni cuz bawakan diorg ni smua dtg rumah aku.

Ni geng2 Assunta. Ramai betul yg datang haritu smpi x terlayan. From left, Erlin, Aput, Nurul, Shafiza, Acak, me, Fareeza, Zetti, Qila and Tasya. I juz love this picture. Surprisingly, even dah lama x jumpa pun, its not awkward at all talking to them!

Apek Ah chong pun dtg jugak. Mamat cina ni lagi la lama gila x jumpa. Last jumpa mase form 2 okey! almost 10 years. Bapak tinggi gila dia skrg. I used to have a huge crush on him when i was 13. Everyday i called him. Macam stalker x? Haha. rasanya, dia still simpan kot all the love letters yang aku bg kat dia dulu. Haha, wanie....wanie.... :) Thanx for coming Chong, Juz like u said...'Jejak Kasih'. :) u always with that goofy looks and that mischievous grin..... hehe

Anyway, there are lots of photos in my Facebook but malas gila nak letak smua kat sini. I really had a good time with them after ages of not meeting each other. Owh, and i have a new quote that i created myself. Philosopher huh? :P

' Friends are my couture. Hopefully they will last long. Just like Prada! ♥ '

Adorable princess Qila

2010-09-16T23:20:00.013+08:00

Kampung tercinta!

Ok so Raya celebration is over. I mean the first week cuz now is the time where everyone are so busy with their open house. Ye lah, kata orang kita puasa sebulan so raya pun sebulan lah. Hahaha. Had so much fun spending time with my family and cousins. Its hard for us to meet up so Hari Raya is the perfect time where we can all get together and of course gossiping! Hahaha.

I have a new addiction. Her name is Aqila. Abg Tahir's daughter. She's only 2 years old and she has to call me mak cik. Ummm no. Aunty would be nice.... Hehe. Omg she is the cutest thing ever! Sangat comel and sangat manja. She's ok with everyone and when she talked, her voice is super soft and super sweet. And the best part is, we share the same thick eyebrow! High five sista! hehehe. Here she is........

Dont u juz wanna bite this tiny thinggy?? Hehehehe :)

Pandai posing kan budak ni? :)

Our thick eyebrow are the limited edition. Precious! Hehehe :)

Suka buat muka comel dia! Geram lah!

I think this is like the thousand times i kissed her! hehehe :)

Smile to the camera Qila :)

P/s : I want one...... Insyallah one day. Amin :)

14 years of friendship :)

2010-09-08T05:46:00.005+08:00

Someone that i have known for years tell me something yesterday. He said that i've transformed a lot compared to when i was in high school. At first, i dont agree at all. But to think about it again, i think he's right. But its normal right for someone to change physically or emotionally cause its been ages! Now let me introduce to you my best friends since primary school.

They've always cracked me up with their stupid jokes even until now! Hehe.

This is us in 2002

This is now :)

We've known each other for so long. From 1996 so its been 14 years!

14 years and still counting.
14 years of endless love and support.
14 years of being insanely silly.

I can actually write a biography book about them. Hehehe.

Love em lots!

Shopaholic i guess? Hmm, not good...

2010-09-07T01:12:00.007+08:00

Well, i got one thing to confess.

Im a shopaholic!!! Crap!

Hate to admit it but thats the truth. Ive realized that before but it just that it is hard for me to actually admit it. I just cant control myself when it comes to cute tops, jeans, handbags, accessories, shoes.... Basically any pretty things that can make me look prettier i guess. Haha, who doesnt wanna look pretty right? Back when i was in high school, i couldnt care less about what i wear and stuff. I just wear anythin that i have without considering the colors, the trend and all that.

I think it all started when i enter matriculation center when i was 18 back in 2005. Well that was the first time i live on my own. I mean partially. I have my own money for crying out loud! Its not like my parents never give money to me but they usually give it just enough for me to use it in school so i never have the chance to pick my own clothes back when i was teenager. My mum usually is the one who pick it for me and i never complain anything about it.

When i was 18, i started to hang out with my friends at the mall and for the first time, i can choose what ever i wanna wear. And that feeling is goooood. I started to know what i like, what kind of fashion that i prefer and stuff. I began to read fashion magazines and looked up to celebrity especially from Hollywood to know what is the in thing right now.

To be honest, even when i was 16, i have no idea what the hell is flip flop! I taught its some kind of like a candy or something. Haha, call me pathetic!

This is Flip Flop Wanie!! :)

Currently, im addicted to skinny jeans! Cant get enough of it. But one thing for sure, im not the crazee bitch who are so obsessed with branded stuff. I dont mind to mix and match. From Jusco to Zara, i dont mind. Seriously. If u realize, most of people have more clothes compared to jeans and pants. And why is that? I really dont know. Usually, if someone have 20 clothes to wear for leisure and stuff, they only have about 3 or 4 jeans only! They might have this kind of thinking that people dont really noticed what you wear except for your tops. I think they're wrong! I think people do notice if u keep wearing the same jeans again and again! At least i know that i noticed and it really bugs me!

I think if you have 20 clothes, then you gotta have about 10 jeans to match with it. Hahaha, hows that? Call me crazee but thats what i think when it comes to fashion. I cant stand to use the same jeans again and again. I can easily get bored! Currently, i think i have about 15 jeans in my closet and i still want more! From black, blue, grey, you name it. I have it! Skinny and straight cut. I love all of my jeans! See, how shopaholic i can be? Told ya!

P/s : Not good Wanie, not good.... But the satisfaction of having it is beyond everything!

Perempuan

2010-09-05T05:39:00.002+08:00

To all women out there, this is for you. Never be too hard on yourself :)

Jangan menghukum orang hanya untuk merasakan diri itu hebat. Mereka ada cerita tersendiri. Biarlah Yang Maha Pencipta yang menghakimi dan menghukum.

Jangan dipanggil perempuan itu perempuan murahan,

Jika kaum lelaki belum tentu boleh membimbing,

Katanya kaum perempuan kaum yang lemah,

Katanya kaum lelaki ketua dan gagah

Jadi mengapa kaum lelaki jatuh jua?

Dimanakah sifatnya lelaki yang dikatakan seorang pembimbing,

Bagaimana mahu menjadi pembimbing jika lelaki juga yang perosak?

Kaum wanita menjadi mangsa,

Mengadaikan segalanya untuk terus disayangi,

Tapi sayang, lelaki tidak pernah mengenal erti puas,

Mementingkan diri sendiri untuk kepuasan yang melampau,

Ditinggalkan selepas habis manisnya,

Diri belum tentu baik, tetapi mahu memperisterikan yang mulia?

Sungguh kejam, sungguh tidak adil,

Menjadi insan yang lemah dan tak berdaya,

Ditindas dengan kaum lelaki yang dikatakan pembimbing,

Sudahnya, lelaki terus menghukum

Dan perempuan terus menyalahkan diri sendiri

Dan sesalan adalah selamanya

Kenangan indah kekal selamanya,

Walaupun dirinya sudah dikotori,

Mungking esok masih ada cahaya indah matahari.

Sayangilah aku kerana aku seorang perempuan. Bukan kerana aku pemuas nafsu jantan.

Graduation - Vitamin C

2010-08-29T14:48:00.004+08:00

Yezza... Sooo busy sampai x de masa nak blogging. Letih weyh but i enjoyed it. Tak mau complain banyak2. So for the past few weeks, ive been busy with assignments, quizzes and mid term since its the middle of the semester so basically this is what every students gotta face. Busy busy busy sampai jadi skema jap. Hahaha. Tambah pulak skrg tgh bulan puasa, oohhh memang letih gila. Tapi happy jugak cuz business cornflakes aku mmg menguntungkan. I dont mind spending hours in the kitchen mase weekend buat cornflakes cuz its worth it. Senang2 je dapat untung. Cheh, planning nak simpan duit ni so that i can go to L.A and N.Y. Hahaha, insyallah. Sapa yang gelak kan aku tu, siap lah! Kalau aku dapat sampai sana jugak, ha wutcha gonna say? Malu x? Hehe.

Anyway, this is my final semester in UIA insyallah. Sedih cuz dah nak tinggalkan kawan2 UIA. Omg, 4 tahun rase kejap sgt plak. Masa last day of school in Assunta, aku mmg x bole nak dengar lagu Graduation by Vitamin C cuz lagu tu sedih sgt. Sumpah akan nangis bila dgr. Tapi skrg dah ada kekuatan nak dgr. Hahaha, but seriously lagu ni mmg berhantu la. Rasa meremang bila dengar. Lirik dia sedih la. :(

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and youAnd then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
And we would get so excitedand we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We rememberAll the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

I just hope that i can still stay in touch with them no matter how far we go and how high we fly :(

Positive energy!

2010-08-04T16:11:00.005+08:00

Last week, i dont know why. The moment i was driving my car back home last Thursday, i cried my eyes out thinking about my life. On that time, aku terfikir balik what kind of life im having right now. I've started comparing my life with others and i cried a river! Damn im so jealous with all the people who gets to live the way i want to live. On that night, i couldnt sleep. I cried again. Then suddenly, i dont know how it happened. I recall back what happened to me when i was 17.

Its not like i have a very rough terrible teenage years, but i have problem living on that time. Ade je yang x kena time tu. Hormones problem i guess. Well, aku teringat balik mase form 5 tu, i have trouble sleeping at night. Crying for no reason. Screaming like no one is hearing. But of course i screamed to my pillow so that nobody will wake up in the middle of the night. When im tired of crying, then only i can sleep. Its like something that i have to do at least once a week.

And now im almost 23 and im still crying at night for no reason. Its been almost 6 years. My life is still the same. Still a very unhappy girl. Then i said to myself, if i continue acting like this, by the time i turn 30, i will regret to the max thinking about the fact that ive wasted my life crying for not having the life that i wanted. So i guess, instead of waiting, i gotta start living. I mean, i gotta start loving the life that i have right now and stop comparing my life with others. I should just be happy for what i have got and not asking more than i should get.

The next morning, suddenly im cured!

Happy with what ive got or at least im trying to be happy. I gotta stop complaining cause it doesnt give me any good except it can harm me of course. So last weekend, i had a good time spending with my family and just be happy with my life. I even updated my facebook status saying that im wearing a new attitude. And i am! Its been 3 days now and i know that deep down i love this new attitude. I can actually overcome my insecurity, my jealousy and all the bad things that i possessed. Hopefuly this attitude will last long.

Before this, it really pissed me off when i saw how happy people are or how they pretended to be happy. Some of them looks like they never have any problem at all. Always posting a happy status, happy comments and pictures and i started to wonder whether it is true or they are just trying to portray to the world how happy they are even when they are not. It really bugs me. But then again, if we're not happy about something deosnt mean we have to show it to the world right? doesnt mean that we have to be angry at the world. Instead of blaming others, i prefer to blame myself and just move on.

Theres a saying that say you cant change your beginning but u can always make a good ending. I couldnt agree more. What done is done. Tomorrow is a gift that is waiting to be unwrap. All i want right now is just to be the best person i can be and just enjoy the journey and being happy. I know that obstacle will come eventually and i gotta face it no matter what. Maybe when u try to portray that you are happy even when you are not, i guess you will be happy eventually. Its not that bad right? Look at me now? Im not that happy but i will always try to remain positive and hope for the best. When you have a strong faith, i guess that will bring you happiness. At least a little.

Juz sing like no one is listening.

Juz laugh your ass off like no one is judging.

Sleep at night with a smile on your face.

Wake up in the morning with a positive energy to start the day.

Insyallah everything will be fine. Faith is like my bestfriend now. It keeps me grounded and i like it that way.

p/s : I know that one day it will be my turn to shine :)

*^&%^$$@!!! Emo mode...

2010-07-22T23:09:00.004+08:00

Nothing much, nothing interesting happened for the last few days. Im lost lately. Have u ever feel like u are so sad and moody and when people asked you whats wrong, u dont know what to tell them cause u dont even know the main reason why u're so sad. Thats what happening to me lately. Sometimes im ok, and sometimes im seriously not in a mood. I just dont know whats wrong with me and why im so sad. Im mad at the same time.

This semester is my final semester insyallah and i dont want anything more but i just want this sem to be fun and cool. But its not! The subjects are boring, the lecturers bla bla bla, and my group mates sux and my classmates are boring. I dont want to be too negative. Ive tried to tell myself that i should enjoy it to the max no matter what but i failed. Every morning, its so damn hard for me to wake up. As if like i have no good reason to wake up. The moment when i lay on my bed and about to sleep at night, im so happy cause i can relax my mind. I dont know why but lately i slept a lot. Ive gained 3 kg in 2 months! Grrrr. Ive tried to be the girl who is never obsessed about her weight but i cant. My current weight now is 48. So much for my new year resolution to get 43 kg by the end of this year. But its okey, Ramadhan is coming and usually my weight will drop 3 kg after the Ramadhan. Of course i have to skip the sahur. Hehehe.

So many things going on in my mind right now. Sometimes the only way for me to still be alive is that i laugh at the silliest thing. When i feel like im about to break down, i will try to recall back anything that will make me laugh and i end up laughing alone. Hey, at least it can cure me for few hours, or minutes. Maybe the reason that i cant enjoy my final semester is that i have to face the fact that by the end of this year, my life will change. I dont even know whether to continue my study or work. And even if i want to continue my master, where will it be? Do i have the guts to study in oversea for a year? Should i continue my study in uia since ive known all the lecturer or should i work cause i have no experience at all. Damn, how i wish somebody or something will enlighten me so that at least i know what to do or which path to choose. I cant believe its my final semester now. Im gonna miss uia. Okey, one more reason to be emotional! Damn.

P/s : I gotta find a great quote to cheer me up. A.S.A.P!!!

Brooklyn bridge.

2010-07-17T23:16:00.005+08:00

Before i turn 30, i wanna drive a convertible car all through Brooklyn bridge in New York City at night while listening to 'Dancing in the dark' by Bruce Springsteen. That will be my dream. Something that i really wanted to do before i reach my 30's. But i know that it wont be easy. I need like lots and lots of cash before it actually happen. The bridge is so beautiful especially at night. Juz look at the picture. How can u not like it?

Agak poyo la kan smpi kereta yang aku nak drive pun yang convertible. Haha. Of course la. Gila style bawak kereta mcm ni at night with all the city lights and stuff. If i made it to New York, i'll try me very best to find this kind of car and sewa just for few hours or maybe one whole day just to make it happen. Gila style kan. Kalau J.lo dalam video clip 'Love dont cost a thing' rambut dia terbang2 drive kereta ni, kalau aku yang drive, tudung aku la yang terbang2. Gile cool. Rasenye i'll be the first woman yang pakai tudung naik convertible car kat Brooklyn bridge! Hooo yeah!

Maybe some people mostly dont know who is Bruce Springsteen but he's one of the pop singer back during the 80's. I have no idea why i just love this song. Check it out!

I love it ever since the first time i heard it. Such a fun song and the beats totally resemblance and will remind you of the 80's. The sound of it is soooo 80's pop music which i love it. Everytime when i drive my car alone at night, i always listen to it and i still remember how happy i am when i listened to it at night. Sometimes, there are things that u juz cant explain. Especially when it comes about feeling. But thats exactly how i felt. Owh, and the girl dancing on the stage before the song end is Courteney Cox. Isn't she cute? She's so young here and the way she danced with Bruce, oh my god! They look so damn happy. As if like there's no problem at all and all they do is singing and dancing all through the night without worrying about anything. Hehe, what do i know? hahaha...

I know that it wont be easy to achieve it. It takes time, money and courage to make it happen. Even if it happen when im 35, im still happy. But im not saying that i wont be happy if my dreams wont come true. At least i know that i have dreams and i've work my ass off trying to achieve it. Kalau ada rezeki, insyallah sampai jugak aku kat sana with my convertible car, and Bruce Springsteen song. :)

p/s : Is it to early to think what to wear on that day and what color of my tudung that i will choose? hehehe :)

German gempaq dowh!

2010-07-05T13:08:00.007+08:00

Yeah, as stated up there, German mmg giler gempak la this time punya world cup. Mmg unexpected! Agak bengang la cuz diorg kalahkan England 4-1. Unbelievable! Aku tgk match yang England lawan German tu mase kat rumah. Actually tgk yg delay punya. So i forced myself not to look at my handphone cuz i might know the result before the match. Giler spoil la kan kalau dah tau sape menang awal2.

Mase dah masuk gol ke-2 from German, mmg aku dah x de mood nak tgk dah. Then my brother in law ckp, ala relax la, banyak masa lagi. Then bila England buat gol jgk, ok, baru semangat balik! haha. But too bad, x sempat nak kasi seri, German buat lagi 2 gol! Giler tension! Arrgghhh.Mmg rase nak mengamuk k. Serious! X pe, England tetap di hati! hahahah :)

After the game, aku dah agak dah sure like banyak giler sms in my hp nak ngutuk england and im damn right! Sakit hati bace ok. Then i forced myself to sleep tapi terlalu bengang smpi x bole tido. So i woke up and watch movie 'Shes out of my league'. Hmm, not bad. End up, i slept around 4 am. I swear to god, mmg confirm dalam facebook sure byk giler notifications mengejek aku. damn! x sanggup nak buka.

The next morning, bgn je tido terus buka facebook. Wut to do, dah jadi rutin pagi2. haha. Omg! smua org la nak serang facebook aku. Sakit hati weyh baca smua org ckp england dah kalah. Panas je. Smpi Sir Johanni pun boooooo kat Rooney! Damn. Hate to admit but German mmg bagus la. Smpi Argentina pun bole kalah! They are good at passing the ball. At first aku nak support German, then bila baca Lahm ckp England x hormat German terus aku panas. Since when England kluar statement mcm tu. Terus la aku support Argentina. Ahahaha

Too bad, kalah lagi! This time 4-0. Lagi teruk dari England. But at least people wont talk shit bout England lg after this. Yeay! Hehe. That 20 year old Mueller mmg bagus la! Mase lawan England pun dia yang gol kan. Too bad, kena yellow card plak so he wont play against Spain for the Semi final. Heh, ade chance Spain nak menang beb! Great! Villa do your thang! Omg, Fabregas is super cute ok when he hugged Villa. Hmmm, im smiling right now. Cant wait for the semi final.

Hopefuly Spain will win.

Ole ole ole!!!

2010-06-23T18:12:00.009+08:00

Hello everyone! its been awhile since the last time i update my blog. Been busy with my practical training and i dont know what to blog about but.... since now, is the world cup fever, i have so many things to tell u. Hehehe. First of all, im a loyal fan of England of course. Always was and always will! Im a bit frustrated that my man, Michael Owen didnt join it this time but its okey. England still have Rooney, Aaron, Lampard, Terry and Gerrard.

Im a bit disappointed when i watched the two games. Especially England vs Algeria. Man, not even one goal! But its ok. Tonight England will play against Slovenia. Many people predicted that England will go down tonight but im still gonna watch it! hopefuly they will win big tonight! Miracle do exist huh? ehehehe

World cup is only 4 years once so when the time has finally come, all football lover are so excited about it. They dont mind to stay up late at night just to watch their favorite team play. Including me. Especially im doing my practical now and i have some time to watch it at night.

I still remember the first time i actually watched it. It was in 2002 and i was 15 that time. Actually im not a big fan of football actually but i still remember what makes me like it until now. On that time, im still dating with my ex boyfriend and he's my first boyfriend. His name is Haziq. We usually see each other at the MPPJ national library. That was like our official spot to date. Nerd!! hahaha. Then obviously when i was there, i never study. I mean not all the time. So, when the World cup was on tv live, me and haziq and some of his friends and my friends went to the cafe to watch it together. At first i just followed them without any intention to actually watch it but later, i find it very exciting to watch. So that was the first time i support England and Michael Owen.

The next world cup was on 2006 and i was 19 that time. I was still studying in matric uia that time. And i still remember the final match, Italy vs France was at night and the next day is the first day of new semester. That night i was in matric and i taught i will miss it cuz theres no way the cafe will still open at 2 in the morning. So, feeling frustrated that i cant watch the final game, i went to sleep. Then one of my roomate woke me up in the middle of the night and she said that people are watching the game at the field from the big screen. I jumped from my bed, wore my jubah and tudung and i grabbed the newspaper for me to seat, then i went to the field. Theres like hundreds of student there sitting and enjoying the game and too bad i missed the first half but its better than nothing right? So i sat there with Azah, my roomate and we both support France and that was the time when Zidane headbutt incident happened during the extra time. It was loud and its getting wild when Italy finally won the World cup. Everyone are jumping and running like crazey! It was fun! i still remember it until now!

And now the world cup has finally come again and believe it or not im 23 now! Argh, im old! if only the world cup is an annual event! hahaha! so the next time when i watch it, i'll be......27? damn u numbers! This year, no Owen, no Beckham, no Ferdinand. Shit lah! but i still watched it and im excited to watch it tonight.

Speaking of that, damn i hate it when people telling me that im too childish to watch football that i only watch it just to see all the hot player. So wut? who are they to tell me what i can do and what i cant? Yes, i admit that i dont know anything about football. Zero knowledge about the game. The things that makes me love to watch it because of the quality time that we can spend together with family and friends when we watch it. I love the environment when everyone are excited about it. The fact that people are willing to wake up at night to watch it. The anxious feeling when u watched it. Thats why i like it. So screw u people who said that. Like u are so pro to talk about it. Oh yeah, i cant wait to see Brazil lose this time! hahahahahah

p/s : Finger cross! England do your 'Thang!'

Diary

2010-06-01T11:48:00.007+08:00

Last night, i got nothing else to do but im not sleepy yet. So, i decided to read my old diaries. I mean really old. As early as im 14 years old. So, basically diary tu dah almost 10 years. Mase baca tu ade la gelak sorang2 cuz teringat balik zaman jahilliyah. So many funny things happened that i jotted it down. But one thing that i hate when i read my diary is, it reminds me back of how stupid i am.

Ive done lots of stupid things years back when i was teenager. Sometimes i cant accept it and i wish i can go back to that time. And when i read back all my resolutions, i end up crying like hell cuz most of it never happen although im almost 23 yrs old now. I got goosebumps when i read it. I feel like it was yesterday everything happened. Time is running so fast i didnt realize it.

Sedih sgt bila life yg kita nak sgt when we're not teenagers, kita x dpt. I taught life will be so much better when we get older. Thats what i taught when i was teenagers. When i was in school. I said to myself, its okey. My life will be better any years from now. Its not like im not happy with what i have achieved so far but i feel like there are lots of things i didnt accomplish and i dont think i can anytime from now. Hmm, how?

I wanna play the guitar, the piano, the drum. Hmm, but i blamed myself. Aku ni nak mcm2 but i dont wanna work for it. Hmm, thats why la. Kalau betul2 nak, sure i'll work for it but aku ni kuat berangan je. How? But one thing for sure yang paling aku nak, aku nak travel all around the world but wheres the money la?? duit x de?? sape nak belanje? haha.

P/s : My diary collection dah bole buat library. Bila baca, seronok ada, sakit hati pun ada.....

Colorful rainbow

2010-05-26T18:39:00.009+08:00

Rainbow is pretty right? and why is that? because it consists of 7 different colors. Just imagine a rainbow with only one color or two color. It looks fine but it wont be as pretty as the real rainbow. Basically, anything that are colorful are beautiful. When it comes to friendship, it is also beautiful when we never discriminate or when we never act choosy who we want to be friends with. Theres no such thing as you cant be friends with the one that have an opposite interest from you.

Sometimes i dont get it why some people asked me, why i become friends with that girl? and that girl? and that girl? why why why. And i said back, why not? wuts wrong? To me, a group of friends with different personality is amazing. Its beautiful. It shows that we can still connect to each other despite the differences.

I dont judge my friends. I never interupt their personal life. But why they have to do that to me? i dont get it why they have to make our differences as a barrier. Wouldnt it be nice if we can just ignore it and just be friends? If im pink and you're blue, why cant we be friends? It will look nicer right? Just like this colorful heart shape.

P/s : Treat people nicely and if they still throw shitz at you, then they are pathetic. I appreciate colors in my life, and if u dont, then shame on u.... Lets be friends :)

Deejay Wanie Harun

2010-04-25T15:57:00.003+08:00

Guess where i am right now? Im in the studio. Yep, officially on air for IIUM FM. Today, aku on air from 2 to 5 pm. 3 hours terus aku belasah! haha. I've juz started my practical for one week and i love every second of it. At least for now. First day mmg aku agak skeptical about working in uia. But after Sir Johanni explained everything, i taught why not i enjoy it. It sounds like fun and it really was. Firstly kitorg blajar how to prepare news, traffic report and weather report as well. Not that hard actually once when u get used to it.

Then Sir Johanni asked us to prepare a capsule for the radio program. So we prepared poems, quotes, tips and so on for the capsule. Really enjoyed it. For now, aku juz amik poems directly from the internet then i recorded it again and add background music to go with it. It sounds great. Credits to myself. Haha, perasan!

Then, Sir johanni said that its time for us to go on air. Live! Surprisingly, of all people, he appointed me to be the first to go on air. Mmg aku kecut perut! Time tu i only got 1 hour left to prepare the script! Juz imagine! Time tu smua org kluar lunch, aku sorang duduk dlm studio preparing the scripts and choose the songs. My hand was sweating. My heartbeat dah mcm drum! Mmg shivering giler la. But lepas skali ckp, terus ok. Its not that hard la. By now, aku dah biase dah. X takut lansung. Bring it on! x de hal!! hahaha ;p

Lagu2 yg suppose bole main kat uia ni kene yg ade unsur islamic tapi aku belasah je. Love songs pon aku play je. But x la yang ade all bad words tu kan. Kalau smua nak lagu islamic and lagu nasyid je, mmg jadi macam ikim la. Sape nak dgr?? I bet, mmg no one will listen to it. But its hard to convince all of the lecturers to open up their mind. Haish... Hopefuly it wil be okey.

p/s : All the songs yg i choose really awesome. Love it! Malay ade english pon ade. Dulu ada, skrg pon ada. Baru la balance.... ;p

Judgemental

2010-04-18T17:46:00.004+08:00

I believe that no one liked to be judged. But we judged others most of the time. We keeps saying that we dont care about what other people think of us but when u know that there's someone who is saying bad stuff about you, you throw tantrums to them. And why is that?

I know its hard to not be judgemental at all cause you just cant help it. Sometimes when u saw a stranger walked past you, and you tend to looked at what they wear and judge them. Sometimes it tooks more then a piece of clothes to read about people. What are the things that u can say about those who wear killer high heels? And what are the things that u can say about those who wear a tudung? Never judge people based on the cover peeps. Looks can be very deceiving. Clothes is nothing and it doesnt portrays what is inside the heart. You can never read whats inside those clothes. It might be the worse that u can never imagine. Trust me.

I've known lots of people. And i've tried to not be a judgemental. I tried to be friends with everyone and not based on what they wear. I just hate it when people kept asking me why i became friends with them. Whats wrong? Just because we wear different clothing, doesnt mean we cant be friends. Doesnt mean that we have nothing in common. As long as they know how to treat me right then whats the problem?

Sometimes those who you think is like an angel can be your worse enemy. Those who you trust the most can betray you just in a blink of en eye. But we have no power to read peoples mind and their heart. The least we can do is dont judge people from the outside. It may look ugly from the outside but it may be one hell of a beautiful heart inside that is covered underneath that ugly clothes. Just be friends with everyone. Its easier that way rather then judging sumone as if like we're good enough.

Cosa dinner

2010-03-22T09:54:00.011+08:00

Last month, i went to Cosa dinner in Crystal Crown Hotel. Dinner ni special for all communication students especially for those who are graduating this year. So, of course i wont miss it. In fact, probably this will be my last dinner as a student cause i dont know yet if i want to continue my study or not. And, lagi best cuz aku dapat convince kan syaza to join me jgk. Double the fun! Although some of my other friends couldnt make it, but i admit, i had a blast that night. Pictures speaks louder. Hehe.

This is me looking stunning as always. Ahahaha perasan! Tema malam tu elegant so, baju harus lah nak bling bling kan. Hehe.

This is me and Citra. Her boyfriend performed that night singing The Fray How to save a life and he has a pretty nice voice. Suppose Syaza pun nak perform jgk but x bole cuz its UIA. Duh! But too bad, x dapat nak lepak dgn Citra lama sket cuz she has to go back earlier with him. Sempat la jgk snapped few pics with her :)

Ni dia cik Syaza kita yang paling macam diva that night. Fake eyelash dia asyik nak tanggal je. I think 3 times kot dia pegi toilet to lekat balik bulu mata dia. Haha. lawak ok!!

This is me with Echah and Amni. Diorg ni classmate aku for most of my specialize subject. Kalau aku duduk sebelah diorg ni asyik nak gelak je. Especially bile tgk si Amni ni menari. Bole tahan beb! Hehe. They look pretty too that night :)

This is the last photo before kitorg balik. Rase mcm x nak balik pun ada. Gambar ada banyak lagi kat facebook but malas nak upload smua kat sini. Haha. Overall, i had fun. The food was nice, the performance was great but it will be better if those who didnt come, join us that night. I mean its once a year and i dont care if i have to pay rm60 for it. Its worth it!

Alif Ashraf

2010-03-01T00:55:00.008+08:00

This semester i registered for video production class and as expected we have to prepare a video. X kisah la Public Service Announcement ke, music video, drama, anything la janji video so my group pilih nak buat Public Service Announcement about the orphanage. We collect some donations from the students and lecturers. Last 2 weeks, we went to Rumah Amal Siraman Kasih in Kepong to shoot the video. At first mmg malas gile nak g sana cuz agak jauh. But when i arrived there and when i looked at their cute faces, mcm nak peluk je semua. Anyway, here's some of the picture taken :

This is my group with the owner of Rumah Amal and that little girl there is my friends sister. She can act really well. In this video, aku berlakon jadi orang kaya yang visit diorg ni. But based from this picture, macam x cukup kaya pun. Hehe.

This is Alif Ashraf. Of all the kids yang ade kat sana, budak ni la yang paling aku minat. Look at him. He is such a cute boy! Happy je. Always smile to the camera when i snapped a picture of him. Ade setengah budak tu at first malu2 bila jumpa strangers but budak ni x de. Terus okey je.

Adorable kan? I know. We spent time kat sana about 3 hours jgk la and everyone was so nice to us. They gave full cooperation to us. Thank god cause that made everything easier! Bila semua dah selesai, we wrapped up and headed home. Had a great time there with the kids! Never knew that i can enjoy meeting with strangers this much!

Friendship

2010-02-28T23:51:00.004+08:00

Life will be so much better without any jealousy. But at the same time, jealousy is good to motivate yourself. When it comes to friendship, jealousy is very dangerous. It could ruin everything and doesnt give you any good. I've experience it. I admit, i do get jealous with my friends. I envy their looks, i envy about what they have and what they got. And i know that some of my friends are jealous of me too. Trust me, i know it no matter how hard they try to cover.

I just love to have lots of friends. Sharing moments, laugh and tears together is just amazing. Its good to have friends around you and knowing that they love you. But sometimes u have no idea what they really feel inside. Thats the interesting part about friendship. U get jealous easily and after that u can still be friends with them.

We just need to control our jealousy. We have to cuz if not, we might end up alone without any friends to spend time with. We should just accept who we are and accept what we got. If our friends are better then us, maybe we should just say to ourself that its a matter of time before we got that too so be patience. Maybe its just their luck and we never know what tomorrow might brings. But still, no matter what, i love all of my friends! They put colors in my life and i love every color of it! Friendship never dies. You know who u are :)

Memories stay

2010-02-12T23:15:00.006+08:00

So many things happened to me the last few weeks. Im so busy right now with mid terms, quizzes and stuff. Basically regular things every students have to go through. Assignments sentiasa bertambah and just went i taught my work is done, ade je lagi kerja yang bertambah nak kene buat. But no choice, this is my final year and what a waste if i dont do my best right?

Been lost a few days. Sometimes i dont recognized myself anymore and sometimes i feel like a new me which can be pretty good and pretty bad at times. I'll be 23 this year and i cant help but think what have i done so far? Any new things occured to me? Any new things i expereinced? Hell lot and boy, i never taught that i can be this kind of person back when i was in school time. I taught wanie will always be wanie but i was wrong. I've changed. But i guess, that is the things that u have to go through with every year when you're getting older.

I know that in the next 10 years when i read back my blog, i know what im writing about. As i say, pictures gone, memories stay. U cant rewind the time and all u have is the memories. If u suffer short term memory loss then its your lost! Hehe.

I love how our memories worked. Its pretty amazing when u can recall back what happened to you when u were young even its like a thousand years ago. Org cakap, once u turned 4yrs old, thats the time u can actually remember things. Aku pon ingat jgk ape aku buat dulu zaman kecik2. Haha! Shhhh....

p/s : trying to relax now and suddenly i enjoyed listening to Broery Marantika. Soothing.....

Petite vs Voluptuous

2010-01-29T23:19:00.003+08:00

Byk sgt aku makan sekarang ni. Especially skrg ni tgh cuti. Whenever i feel bored at home, perut pon automatic jadi bertambah lapar. Asyik nak mengunyah je. Grrr!! Every morning teman my dad g jogging then after jogging g breakfast makan roti telur! I think kalori roti telur and kuah kari pon dah dekat 500 kalori! Damn, then whats the point of jogging kalau dah burn, lepas tu masuk kan balik kalori berganda2! Sigh...

I dont know what i want actually. Sometimes, i said to myself, screw diet. I eat anything i want, whenever i want. Sometimes i feel good but sometimes rase guilty sgt lepas makan tu. Sometimes rase macam nak body like beyonce. Or curvy and voluptuous. But sometimes aku suka badan very petite. Cute jgk kan. So how? Sekejap nak curvy, sekejap nak petite.

Sekerang everytime when i want to eat, mesti nak kira kalori. Bo-ring! Aku tak nak ade rase mcm everytime lepas makan ade rase menyesal. I wanna feel good about myself. I really do. Sekejap diet, sekejap x diet. Sape tak suka makan kan? Kalau fast food tu x byk kalori, mmg everyday la aku sapu. U name it, McDonald, KFC, Burger King, semua aku bole makan. Tapi dalam satu cheeseburger pon kalori dah dekat 500. And thats is not including the french fries! French fries la yang paling aku suka!

Sometimes, org control makan sebab nak sihat. Orang yang gemuk belum tentu tak sihat and orang yang kurus belum tentu lagi dia sihat. Kadang tu, badan kurus kering tapi ade darah tinggi or kencing manis. X elok jugak. So basically, badan kene sihat je lah. Maybe i need to do lots and lots of sit up. Kasi perut flat just like Rihanna. Would love to have that! Haha. Or maybe i should try yoga or pilates. I heard it helps a lot. Kalau ade free time check video kat youtube and buat sendiri dalam bilik. Alone of course. Dancing pon bole byk burn calories. I would love to have someone to teach me dancing. Kalau aku register masauk gym, sure ade dancing class. But confirm campur laki and peempuan. Tu yang x syok. X kan nak bergelek pakai tudung depan lelaki. Seriously weird. Omg, how la?

P/s : I would love to have Beyonce's or Kim Kardashians ass and petite body as Christina Aguilera. Sigh....

Insyallah one day

2010-01-26T10:32:00.004+08:00

Lots of things in my mind right now. Turning 23 this year really scares me. This is my final year in UIA and insyallah i'll wrap up everything by November. Then whats next? Macam mane life aku bile dah habis blajar nanti? Im so not ready for that yet. Even, i'll be 23 this year, otak still mcm budak2 lagi. Still not independent enough. To be honest, so far mmg aku x pernah ade working experience. Not at all. Kalau org lain ade working experience at least mase tgh tunggu exam result or during the holiday. But i have none! Zero! Na da!

Agak kecut jgk perut ni bila nak start kerja nnt. Nak mula practical pon agak cuak. Takut x reti nak buat kerja even dah dpt degree. Omg, maybe im worrying to much. Maybe its nothing. But the fact that im actually working is totally bizarre. Before this i always rely on my parents for money and stuff. But later, im all alone. All by myself. Kene pandai2 saving duit sendiri.

I swear if i get a really cool job, something that i enjoy to do, i'll work my ass off and start saving all the money! Sape x nak kaya kan. Hehe. To actually have my own money pon best jgk kan. Skrg ni, aku ade buat business jual cornflakes cookies. Buat sendiri tau! Hehe. Student kat UIA la yang slalu oder dgn aku. Ade la dpt duit sendiri sikit. Mmg rase best pegang duit sendiri but the bad thing is, bila aku kene pakai duit cornflakes tu utk beli brg aku sendiri pon aku rase mcm susah sgt nak spend the money. Haha. Ye la kan, before this nak beli ape2 smua duit my parents. So x rase mcm ape sgt lah.

When i looked at other rich people, sumpah aku jealous. Aku pon nak senang jgk mcm diorg. So, that actually motivated me to work harder.I know that it wont be easy to be that rich. Kalau sederhana pon alhamdullilah drpd hidup susah kan. Omg, how cool will it be if bile aku dah dpt simpan duit, aku bole pakai duit tu and travel wherever i wanna go! Kalau terlebih kaya, bole smpi pijak kan kaki Ke Los Angeles. Omg, dreams come true lah kan! Hehe. And when i reach there later, i know that the Hollywood Sign and the Walk of Fame will welcome me!! Insyallah one day :)

Physical attraction

2010-01-25T12:09:00.004+08:00

How can u explain physical attraction? Is it acceptable if someone who is already married to someone to have a physical attraction towards the opposite sex? Some people said that it is wrong since u already have someone or you're married. But there are some other people said that theres nothing wrong with it. U just have an attraction and its not like you actually cheating.

If u think about it again, macam salah cause you're suppose to have that attraction to the one that you love. But how you explain it when you are attracted to celebrity? Its a bit complicated right. I know. Well, im not saying that im good or anything but i really like to study about guys. About boys! They can be so typical!

I went to mid valley with some of my friends few days back and i noticed something. Laki memang gatal forever. Nothing will change that. Even when they already have a wife and family. They can still be disgusting at times. Sumpah nak gelak pon ade. Mase kitorg tgh jalan, smua lelaki yang aku nampak smua pandang my friends ni. They actually stare at their boobies! Giler. But aku yang pakai tudung ni diorg x pandang lah. X de ape yang nak dipandang pon. Hehe.

Anyway, ade satu laki ni yang paling geli la aku tgk. Dia tgh dukung anak dia and next to him is his wife. Then mata dia bukan main lagi stare at my friends ok. Aduiiii, mmg perangai lelaki semua mcm ni eh? Ade yang pandai cover. Ade yang x pandai cover. So basically semua sama je lah! Kalau setakat nak tengok cause terpegun dengan ciptaan tuhan, x pe lah masih boleh diterima. Tapi kalau sampai buat scandal kat blakang, mmg dah lebih la kan. Lelaki suppose to be a leader! Haha.

Old Skool pop!

2010-01-23T09:49:00.003+08:00

I was listening to my itunes then suddenly teringat balik zaman Assunta dulu especially mase form 1 and form 2. In my itunes, i've created so many playlist so that i can choose depends on my mood. There's 80's vintage, 90's old skool, lovey dovey, evergreen, rox my socks, laid back country and so much more. I was listening to 90's old skool playlist and i cant help but smiling alone remembering all those old memories! Hehe.

Yes, i am so into bubblegum pop back then. Even until now! Anyway, check out the video first!

This is A-teens. Love this song so much! Used to sing this with Nadia An back in those days! Sungguh cute. Haha. Zaman mase form 1, i still dont know how to use the internet and how to download songs that i like so everytime bile lagu ni ade kat radio, aku record guna cassette. Giler old skool kan! Haha, in fact i still have the cassette until now. Bile dah record asyik nak dgr je. Bila lagu dah habis nak kene rewind balik. Lama2 smpi tape cassette tu pon dah mcm nak rosak. Zaman tu x tau nak pakai cd lg. Bila rewind bunyi dia klakar ok! ke tet ke tet ke tet ke tet!!!!!! ;p

This is also my favorite song mase form 2. I have no idea why but everytime when i heard this song, aku rase macam semangat nak belajar. What the hell? I told Nadia and dia pon x paham ape kene mengena lagu ni dgn study. I have no idea. Bile dgr lagu ni, i feel like im 14 again. The song is cool but the video is pretty average. Too bad. But still, i love it!

This is one of my favorite girls group after Spice Girls. I like Liz especially. The short hair. I think she's 19 mase ni. Super cute and she really can dance. I always watched this video every Saturday on MTV Pulse. I even try to imitate the dance move when im alone in my room. Pffftt! hehe.

Kalau nak ikutkan berpuluh2 lagi video aku nak letak cuz mmg byk lagu zaman sekolah yang aku still suka. Until now. Even when im 23, i still love bubblegum pop. If i asked other people, smua dah x brape nak suka lagu2 mcm ni. Smua dah tukar taste. Suka lagu yang aku pon x paham la. Music club la, trance la. Susahnya nak jumpe org yang still suka Atomic Kitten kan. I know that we need to grow up, but who said i have to get rid all the things that i like when im a teenager kan? Hehe. Love old skool song. Always was always will! Still have the goosebumbs whenever i heard it. Feels like im in the time machine! If i have to eat vegetables for one week to go back to old times, i will definitely do it even when i hate vegetables. Dying to go back to the 90's!!!

My father

2010-01-09T23:24:00.002+08:00

This is my father and he is my hero. I called him ayah. I really love this photo. My father looks really young here and im kindda cute too right? I think this is taken back in 1994 when i was in standard 1. We were in Langkawi for family vacation.

A lot of things happened after that. To me, to my dad and to my family. Ayah aku memang tegas. Dari zaman aku sekolah lagi. Tapi bila mood dia tgh nak gila2 mmg best. Aku paling suka bila ayah layan menari lagu hindustan Govinda. Memang menari betul lah depan aku. Gosh, i really miss that.

God really wanna test our patience. Banyak sgt benda yang aku kene sabar. Bila dia marah aku, aku menangis. Tapi aku tak melawan. I admit, i cursed inside my heart like hell but when i started to calm down, damn i felt really guilty about it. Tapi, sape lah yang tak de masalah dengan parents kan? No matter what they're still our parents. Diorg yang support aku. Family makes me grounded. At first memang aku x suka. Aku berkurung dalam bilik, conteng my diary as an expression of my anger or writing a poem about it. Not that good but it helps a bit.

Sekarang, kalau ayah suruh aku buat benda yang aku x suka. Aku still buat. As a good daughter, we have to obey even when we dont want to. Perasaan marah dan x puas hati tu kene sorok. I prefer to be that way. Aku x nak jadi lagi teruk kalau aku melawan. How fussy he can be, i still can handle it.

Maybe i dont have the guts to say to him that i love him everyday, but Allah knows how much i really love him. With all my heart. I swear, if anyone try to mess with my dad, that person will be in hell for sure. I am very emotional right now.

Wanie sayang ayah forever n ever n ever n ever n ever.

Homophobia

2010-01-08T14:02:00.013+08:00

For the last few weeks, i've been reading alot about gay and lesbianism for my english writing paper. Agak interesting kan tajuk essay aku? Hehe. Thats what people said. Ok, i've been reading about it from internet, magazines, watched movies and even keluar masuk library sudah menjadi kebiasaan aku for this semester. Keluar library bawak buku tebal2 for references. Gile skema. But i kindda enjoyed doing it because i love to dig and explore more about this dirty issue. Based on what i got so far, wow its pretty scary! Everyone is gay now. In fact proudly admit it as if theres nothing to be a shame off! Gambar kat atas ni ialah Ellen Degeneres. One of the most popular tv host. And yeah as u can see, she is lesbian and this is one of her wedding photos. Scary.

Banyak jgk la journals, buku yang aku baca to get more idea about this topic cause later, i need to write an academic essay regarding this topic. One of the articles that really got my attention is from Harun Yahya and he explained about the history of Pompeii in Italy. I've heard about it before in newspaper. Pompeii ni bandar kat Italy yang terbenam dan hilang sekelip mata kerana kejahilan rakyatnya. Here are some parts of the article :

Lava gunung Vesuvius menghapuskan keseluruhan kota tersebut dari peta bumi dalam waktu yang sekejap. Banyak sekali pasangan-pasangan yang tubuhnya terawetkan berada pada posisi sedang melakukan persetubuhan dan yang lebih mengejutkan terdapat sejumlah pasangan yang berkelamin sama , dengan kata lain ialah hubungan seks sesama jenis. Hasil penggalian fosil juga menemukan sejumlah mayat yang terawetkan dengan raut muka yang masih utuh. Raut-raut muka mereka menunjukkan ekspresi keterkejutan, seolah bencana yang terjadi datang secara tiba-tiba dalam sekejap. Catatan sejarah menunjukkan bahawa kota tersebut ternyata merupakan pusat kemaksiatan dan kemungkaran. Kota tersebut dipenuhi oleh meningkatnya jumlah lokasi penzinaan atau prostitusi. Organ-organ kemaluan pria dengan ukurannya yang asli digantung di pintu-pintu tempat pelacuran tersebut. Menurut tradisi ini, yang berakar kepada kepercayaan Mithraic, organ-organ seksual dan hubungan seksual sepatutnya tidaklah tabu dan dilakukan di tempat tersumbunyi akan tetapi hendaknya dipertontonkan secara terbuka. Kisah ini mirip dengan kisah kaum Nabi Luth yang dilenyapkan kerana berleluasanya hubungan kaum sejenis. Allah ada mengatakan dalam Al Quran bahawa :

" Tidak ada siksaan atas mereka melainkan satu teriakan saja : maka tiba-tiba mereka semuanya mati " ( 36:29 )

Here are some of the photos from the Pompeii history :

Scary kan? We can actually see their figure and their sex position! Giler lah! Memang patut pon kene bala kalau dah jahil mcm ni! Kenapa lah org2 yang bangga sgt jadi gay and lesbian ni x nak belajar dari sejarah ni? From here pon kite dah tau mmg salah jadi homosexuals. Kalau terlalu ikutkan sgt dengan quote 'Be Yourself', jgn la smpi mcm ni.

For my essay i have to know what the oppositions opinion regarding this issue and mmg bodoh pon kepercayaan diorg ni. Nak tergelak pon ada. Theres a study that supports their belief. A study about twins. They found out that twins who shares same genetic material known as Monozygotic twins have more tendency for both to be gay compared to twins that dont share same genetic material known as Dizygotic twins. But this theory only support 52 percent when they do the survey. Isnt that stupid or what? Kalau dah 52 percent je, that means mmg x bole pakai la diorg punye theory ni. Awat bodo sangat?

It will be against the nature to be homosexuals. It will be a bizzare world if we dont do something. Orang mcm ni x bole nak dimanjakan sangat. Nanti rosak segala umat weyh! Countries like Netherlands and Belgium dah bole accept same sex marriage. Its legal now there to get married with the same sex. Omg!!!

P/s : Yes. I am Homophobia. Extremely!!

Farewell 2009

2009-12-28T17:54:00.003+08:00

Its the last Monday for 2009. Usually i hate every Monday. Knowing that its gonna be a friggin long week before the weekend comes, but today i just want to chill and recall back what have i done so far for this year instead of throwing tantrum like a bitch suffering a painful pms. Sounds like Katy Perry huh? hehe.

Every year i always make a resolution list. The things that i want to do and what i wanna be for the whole year. But, so far, i never followed it right until the end of the year. At first, i really followed all the things that i listed but around March or April, the old Wanie is back then i tend to forget about the resolutions until the last day of that year. So much for a resolutions! I have a feeling that i will never fulfill all the things that i want to do for new year resolutions but i cant help it and i have to make the list every year. Including for 2010. I didnt prepare the list yet but i already know what im gonna do. Since, im gonna start my practical next year, i guess i must have a different resolutions compared to before. But it will remain secrets of course. Only my diary will know the details.

Basically, this year is pretty average to me. Still an ordinary girl living in this extraordinary world. Still suffered a very low self esteem, still crying in a room for nothing, still creating own drama just to make this life more interesting, still eating like there will be no tomorrow, still obsessing with facebook like nothing else matter, still depend on other people although i can depend on myself, still wanting the things that i dont have, and still not appreciating the things that i already got. Thats just me.

But, this year is not really that bad. Its pretty fun actually. I cant recall back what is the things that make this year good but i just know it. My relationship with my family, boyfriend, friends are fine. Compare to the previous year, i think my life is right on track and i can almost see the path that im gonna take for life. Last year and the year before, i think its worse with so many troubles hitting me. So, basically this year is a bit of happiness and a bit of sadness. I guess thats the way it should be. I just hope that all the negative things that happened to me this year wont happen again to me on 2010. I know i have the strength to face all the shittty things that will happen to me in future because so far, i still manage to smile and laugh like hell even when im hurt inside and even when i am having so much troubles. I think thats ok. Cant wait for 2010. What u got for me? Bring it on!

p/s : Happy New Year in advance everyone! Spread the love.......

Too little too coward

2009-12-21T13:09:00.004+08:00

What is the differences between patience and weak? Am i too weak or am i just that girl who is very patience when it comes to bullying. As far as i can remembered, ever since i was in standard 1 back in 1994, aku dah mmg kene buli. Not a physical attacks kindda thing. More like a mental attack. At first, i can take it but then lama-lama simpan, mmg nak pecah kepala otak ni. I have no idea where i got this strenght to remain calm.

The worse is when is was in high school. Mase form 2, ade la this one girl mmg kuat gile buli aku. Masuk class aku then dgn slambe rampas my pencil case and amik all my color pens buat harta sendiri. And i didnt say a word to her. Dia buat harta sendiri plak tu. Mmg teruk. Kat sekolah pon, ramai yg ckp aku ni nerd, i need to grow up and so much more and aku just telan semua apa org ckp and buat bodo but the truth is, balik rumah dalam bilik conteng diari sambil nangis to the max! Aku x pernah nak lawan balik ckp diorg.

Mase kat skolah menengah, mmg ramai yg buli and pandang rendah kat aku. Semua take advantage of me and i still didnt said a word. Ade this one girl ni ckp, i really need a makeover so that guys will like me. My first boyfriend is Haziq. I was 15 that time and so does he. But manage to stay together for 7 months only. When i was still with him, aku asyik tanye je, what makes him like me? I taught everyone said that im ugly. But i never have the guts to ask him obviously. But now after we broke up, we still remain friends and theres nothing wrong if i ask him now right? And he said that, im not ugly. Then why my friends said so?

At first i taught, get over it. Masuk je uia i taught, i wanna start a new life with new friends and no one can say bad things to me. Mule2 mmg ok, then lama2 aku dapat rasa byk kawan2 aku yang amik kesempatan dgn my condition ni yang x pernah nak bantah ckp org. Paling aku x suke bile org guna kan aku untuk kesenangan sendiri. Sekali dua bole la tahan but kalau dah depend sgt dgn aku sape tahan? Tapi aku x pernah ckp sepatah pun nak lawan balik.

Mase dah nak start final exam, baru la terhegeh2 nak call or sms me asking for notes yang aku buat. Every subject aku mmg akan buat mind map and my personal notes cause i can study much better that way and my friends ni pon tau pasal tu. Thats why semua cari aku nak kan the notes. Mmg la org ckp jgn kedekut ilmu, tapi kalau ye pon try la blaja dulu, then kalau x paham baru la mintak notes aku or mintak aku ajarkan.

But then, diorg ni prefer jalan pintas nak senang. Sehari nak exam baru nak cari aku. Study pon belum terus free2 nak mintak notes kat aku. Kot lah nak belanja makan or even say thanks but nothing! Every semester buat mcm tu. Class pon suke ponteng then suruh aku sign kan their attendance. Aku mmg x suke. Kalau betul2 sakit x pe la, i totally understand tapi kalau overslept x bole la. Aku pon x cukup tidur tapi pakse jgk diri dtg class. Then bile dah x dtg, aku jgk yg nak kene explain homework semua. Im not their personal assistant tau.

Too bad, i have no guts to say it right in front of their faces. Lepaskan kat blog je la. Some people said that aku ni terlalu lemah smpi org pijak kepala aku. Or maybe aku ni jenis yang penyabar? Aku x tau. One thing yang aku asyik fikir skrg, mcm mane bile aku dah start keje nnt? Am i going to face the same situation too? I cant take it anymore la. Kalau kat tempat kerja pon kene jgk then how? I need to step up for myself sometimes but im too little to speak out and yes i am coward!

Desperate for A!

2009-12-08T13:00:00.004+08:00

Im totally pissed right now but im trying to remain positive. Tapi sgt susah! Last semester aku register for 2 subject which is Scriptwriting and Radio Production. Both of this subject, Sir Johanni yang ajar. I worked my ass off for this subject and i know that i can get at least A-. But then when i checked the result few days back, agak terkejut cause i got B+ for both subject. And because of that, my cgpa x berapa nak increase sgt. Sgt frust.

I asked my lecturer the same night and i smsed him. I asked him whats wrong with my final answer? I know that i got it right. 100 % positive. In fact, my cam marks pon tinggi so its impossible for me not to get A-. I know that i deserve it. Call me pathetic but i dont care. I know that i should get that. Then, he asked me to see him in his office when the semester begin because i want him to recheck my paper.

Just now, i went to his office to discuss about this matter. Dia ckp its better kalau aku x recheck the paper because there is no point. Katenye, actually i already got A- for both subject but since ramai sgt yang dpt A i guess, UIA bagi quota. Not more then 10 students can get A- or A. I was like..... What the hell? He said that the examiner tolak markah aku because theres a grammatical error in my paper. Hello, is this english subject or what?? The examiner tolak few marks then i got B+. Just because of that both subject aku x dpt A pon. Its so unfair to me.

In my opinion, if that student deserve to get A, then she should get A. Who cares if all the student dapat A? Ape masalahnye? Kenapa perlu ade quota plak? I asked my lecturer honestly what he thinks of my paper. And he said its ok. He understand my answer and i deserved to get A. See? Didnt i told you that? But theres nothing much i can do. My cgpa pun have to remain that way. Kate Uia ni islamic university but i think what happened to me is so not islamic because its not fair. Wheres the justice? Hopefuly this semester will be better for me. Please.

Torturing Wednesday

2009-12-04T11:54:00.005+08:00

Result sudah diketahui akhirnya. Fuh, lega. Although agak sedih actually cause ade few subjects that i really hope to get A x dpt! But at least i passed my arabic. Woo hoo. I was so worried that im going to fail. Cuti for 3 weeks but i think mase first week je yang i actually enjoyed. Masuk second week, all i think about was the exam result. I was so worried and i cant concentrate on anything else. Cuti blah mcm tu je. Last wednesday the result was supposed to be release at 4 so i waited patiently for the result to reveal.

That morning i woke up around 10am. Dah set dah dalam kapla otak ni nak bangun selambat yang bole so i dont have to wait longer for the result. Lepas je bgn dari tido, aku kira brape jam lg before 4 pm. Then after breakfast, i watched a movie. I need something as an escapism so that i wont obsessing thinking about the result. Then, around 2 pm, my dad ajak g lunch kat Pappa Rich with my siblings, then i thought great! At least x de la aku terperam kat rumah risau x tentu pasal kan. But yg x bestnye tu kul 4 mase result dah kuar, im on my way back. Aku dah cuak gile that time. Mmg x sabar nak check out the result. Actually i was so curious to know if i fail my arabic or not and thats it.

Sampai je rumah, terus pasang internet. Tapi yg buat aku marah tu website uia buat hal plak! So damn slow! Infact, aku siap bukak laptop and desktop all at once cause x sabar sgt nak tgk. I just want to get it over with. Im tired of waiting! It kills me slowly! End up until 7 pm pon still x dpt bukak lg. Can u imagine how i feel for the frigging long 3 hours waiting for my result to pop out? You have no idea. Then, i decided to stop trying and to check it in the morning next day. I have a feeling that the problem with uia website wont be fix. Not until tomorrow. I was pretty mad and pissed that time. But what can i do. So i tried to do something to keep my mind away from thinking about the result so i played Twister with my sis and bro. Was pretty fun!

At night around 9.30pm i dont know why suddenly i want to try to open the result. And finally! There it was infront of my eyes. I was so happy that i passed my arabic paper but im confused cause 2 of the subject that i know i can score A but it turned out i got B+ instead. Terdiam jgk la depan computer and i called everyone in my class to ask them. Ade la a few yg dpt B jgk and ade jgk yang dpt A. I almosy cry cause i study for that subject like nuts! I really hope if i got A for that subject, it can help my cgpa to increase. I even asked my lecturer to recheck my paper. I have to. Yeah, i know i can be like a pain in th ass sometimes. But i cant help it.

Then, that same night, i said to myself i should just probably say alhamdulillah instead of swearing like mad. It wont solve the problem. At least i dont have to repeat my arabic and next sem i can move step ahead to the next level. Cheers for me. Benda dah jadi kan nak buat macamana although i still hope that there'll be changes for my grades and cgpa. But overall, i accepted my result. Next semester i have to try harder

I despise gay & lesbian

2009-11-26T12:07:00.003+08:00

Its scary when i started to think how weird and drastic this world has changed. What is going to happen in 20 years time? I seriously cant imagine. People now are so focusing on trying to be individual and not afraid at all to show the world their true colors and their identity. I mean, its good for them to show their identity but what if the things that they are exposing is against the nature? To make it worse, it spread like a virus!

Im talking about gay and lesbian. I despise the idea of it. Seriously. A man need a woman and same goes the other way. Thats the nature. Thats how human population will grow! The idea of same sex love really disgust me. I mean, theres nothing wrong to care about someone with the same sex but to actually marrying them? Its ridiculous! Lots of country are fighting their right to have a same sex marriage. What the hell is this?

Its bullshit when they said that they are born that way. Theres no such thing as you're born to be gay or lesbian. You want to change it and dont put the blame on god. In fact, if i have no desire towards my opposite sex, i'd rather stay alone and just adopt a child. Instead of going against the nature! What happen if everyone become gay and lesbian? It will be the end of human species. That is so bizzarre!

Seriously i against lesbianism and gayism. Always was and always will. If only i have the power to control this stupid idealism. Its spreading really fast! In fact here in Malaysia, its pretty normal. Lots of celebrity also claimed and admit that they are gay and lesbian. Ellen Degeneres, Adam Lambert, Elton John, Lance, Clay Aiken and the list goes on. They are a public figure. Im just afraid that all their fans will start to think that theres nothing wrong of being gay and lesbian. I pity the young generations because they will surrounded with a weird environment and they kind of like have to decide if they are straight or gay. Who should we blame? I belived that its all come down to you.

Mikaeel

2009-11-24T20:18:00.006+08:00

Last few days i went to Mid Valley to watched Michael Jackson This Is It. Actually everyone is busy and not answering my calls so i just decided to watched it alone. Trust me its not that bad. Sumone said its pathetic. Whats wrong with watching movie alone? I dont get it. I think its cool that you dont rely on sumbody else to have fun. You know how to have fun alone rite. Thats what i think. I mean shopping alone is fun actually. Anyway, im proud of myself! Hehe.

Okey, i heard all the fuss about this movie like months ago. Actually i dont know what this movie is about. I read in the newspaper that said this movie is brilliant! Not only that, it achieved box office collection! Some of my friends said its boring. But i'll be stupid if i rely on my friends to know about the review of this movie. I mean, i prefer to rely on the review on the internet or anyone who is expert in movie of course, so i decide to watch it alone so i can judge it myself.

When the movie was released, i was busy with my final exam. I kept thinking that i know im gonna miss it because that movie will be in the cinema not for one month but only for 2 weeks instead. So, obviously i cant watch it cause im busy preparing for my finals. No matter how much i love Michael Jackson, im sooo not gonna jeopardizing my study right? At least thats the right thing to do. I taught maybe i can just catch it on dvd or something.

But surprisingly i heard that they extend it since lotsa people want to watch it. My luck eh? Haha. So i watched it and im touched! It was so good i want to watch it again! Its basically a rehearsal video for his concert which is suppose to be held few days after the day he passed away. Its pretty sad rite? One thing for sure, He's a good dancer. For a 50 year old guy to dance like that, wow! Luckily, they recorded the whole rehearsal and people can watch it. The rehearsal was recorded few days before he died. He was so excited for his concert and he kept practicing again and again. He's so humble and down to earth. When a person is so down to earth like that, its hard for us to find a reason not to like him. Whenever peoples complimented him, he will smile and said god bless you. That is so humble. I dont get it why some people criticize him.

In that rehearsal, he performed Billie Jean, Beat It, Earth Song, Smooth Criminal, I'll Be There, Wanna Be Startin Something and so much more. Their preparation for the concert is really amazing. Sure it can be an escapism for anyone that watch it. I know i am. For 2 hours i couldnt think of anything else besides him. How great he is. As a performer and as a person. Im so gonna get the dvd when it release later. Will watch it again and again and of course i'll show it to my future children later. Truly a legend, truly one in a million. May you rest in peace.....Mikaeel

Future writer maybe?

2009-11-17T10:11:00.004+08:00

Its a holi holiday! I just finished my final exam last Sunday and damn it feels good! I got 3 weeks for holiday. Mase tgh x cuti mcm2 benda plan nak buat tapi bile dah cuti relax kat rumah je layan dvd. Its good enough for me but it will be nicer if i can go on a vacation or something. I need to take a time off before new sem start. I mean, this sem i worked my ass off to increase my cgpa and hopefuly its worth it. We'll see cause the result will be release in 3 weeks from now. Cuak jgk ni. Haha. I dont want to put my hope to high cause juz in case if my cgpa remain the same, nnt aku jgk yang frust. But i cant help it. Kalau bole skrg jgk nak check the result. Then only i can enjoy my holiday to the max without any worries.

Cuti ni one thing for sure, im gonna meet my shindois. Lama x jumpa budak2 ni. Last time jumpe pon mase buka puase dulu. Tu pon ngan Fiera and Syaz je. Nadia and Ain pon dah lame x jumpe. Cuti ni, hmm i just wanna relax my mind. Meaning, DVD marathon for sure, blogging, kemas bilik, jumpe kawan, hang out with family, watch movies, and thats it. Ni je lah yang aku biase buat kalau mase cuti. But this time, i wanna do something different. I wanna start working on my script. I juz discovered this new software and i downloaded it for free. This software is for any scriptwriters who want to put their ideas on paper instead of using Microsoft Words. At least by using this software aku bole tau mcm mane format buat script. Bukan suke2 je bole type kat Microsoft Word. Byk sgt ceite ni, juz waiting for me to write it down. Hehe.

I dont really know if im good at it. But my friends said that i know how to play with words. Im not sure if its true cause they are my friends so sometimes can be bias also right? But last month, i gave some of my lyrics and poems to Tim. She is a rockstar! Haha, seriously can play the guitar that well so i gave it to her my masterpiece so she can make a song by figuring out the melodies. And when i heard it, its good! Cant believed finally theres a melody for those poems and lyrics i created. In fact one of my friends just broke up with her long time boyfrind and when she listened to that song, she feel touched. Its a song that i write about being positive and remain strong no matter what thunders attack you. Wow, i cant believed it!

I've started writing lyrics when i was 16. You know cause thats the time when you faced all kinds of teenage drama. I pour my heart out with words since im not a rebel type of girl. It helps cause i still survive until today. Haha. I have lots of collection and i was planning to write more. But now, i wanna start to write about actual story. I just downloaded a sample of script. Its from 'When Harry met Sally'. I heard that movie is good. I checked it on the internet all the reviews said that its worth watching so i downloaded it straight away. So when i watch that movie, i can also see the script so i know how the script works. That movie was back in 1989. Sally played by Meg Ryan and Harry played by Billy Crystal. I love 80's movie. So, its a bonus!

Old Photos

2009-11-06T23:39:00.005+08:00

Its scary sometimes whenever i flip through old photos. I swear it gave me goosebumps.Its amazing how this things can make you feel weird, funny, sad all in one. It can bring back old memories whether its sweet or not. It can give you this feeling of happiness sometimes. Thats how i felt every time i looked at it. Thats why old photos are my treasures. I swear, if anything happen to it, i'll go nuts!

When i looked at old photos it somehow can make me smile alone and i felt like it was just yesterday i took the picture. Be it family photos, photos of myself, photos with my boyfriend or even with my friends. It reminds me of how sweet it was back then. And of course it made me realize that im gettin old! It scary sometimes to think that im not a teenager anymore. What do u expect? Im 22 for god sake! Theres no teen word anymore for my age. Everything is happening so fast and its true what people always said that time is not waiting fo us. So true!

A picture worth a thousand word. I couldnt agree more to that. But the truth is, we are the one who can interpret it correctly because it's our photos. It reminds of what you used to be or what you used to have and sometimes, it can help you to be more thankful for what you got. Same goes to me. I always have issues with my parent. Who doesnt right? But i kept it locked deep inside cause i dont want to be rude to them, so i just remain silent. Sometimes i kept comparing them to other parents. Which is not good. But when i looked back the family photo album, i cant help but to love them even more. They love me and my sister so much that they bought us like thousand of dresses when we were little and thanks to them, i looked cute back then. Haha. And by just looking at it, i know that they really love me. Sometimes old photos can makes you remain grounded and it can help you to know where you actually belong.

When it comes to friends, damn it they hurt me so much i kept asking myself, why i still talked to them? Then, when i looked back at our school photos, then it hit me straight in my head. What we had is so precious and to let it go with a stupid cat fight is silly. I really value my friendship with them. When i looked at the photos, i know that i can forgive them for what they did. Because if i have to live without their contagious laugh, it feel so weird! Those old photos have a very beautiful stories to tell. We grew up together. We go through different phase with each other and its all there in the photos. I bet, 30 years from now, when i look back at those photos, i know it can still make me smile and i'll laugh alone when i recall back their jokes!

Some people dont get it why certain people are so into yesterday. Some people believe that what we go through today is what counts. But we wont be who we are if we're not from yesterday. Thats what have shaped us to be who we are today. Theres nothing wrong of diggin up old boxes to search for an old photo album. Memories will always remain with us. And its nicer if you looked at it with the one that you love whether its your family, your boyfriend or even your friends. The laugh that you share with them when you look at those old photos is priceless!

p/s : Fiera & Qila, our photos when we were a librarian back in 1998 is the best! Classic! Hehe....

Why on earth?

2009-10-30T10:08:00.003+08:00

Why on earth Mass Comm students especially Electronic Media students have to take statistic? Dah ade teknologi canggih, why still nak merangkak kira2? Dah ade spss yang bole calculate all quetions, why we still need to know the formula and calculate ourselves? It doesnt make any sense! Kalau budak yang suke maths, in love with maths, wanna have sex with maths, to that extend confirm akan debate balik my statement here kan? G mampos lah. I really hate maths. Its totally not my thinggy.

Im takin statistics this sem and this is the subject that i cant study alone! I need sumone to guide me and i kindda dont like it. I prefer to study alone but kalau blajar statistic sorang2 mmg confirm fail lah aku! I feel like i dont get anything from taking statistics. I mean, ape kene mengena statistic and my passion towards script writing? Words and numbers. Its so obvious its two different thing! But i got no choice, cause its a course requirement bla bla bla....

I cant wait to get over statistic exam this coming thursday! Seriously! Its a gud thing that i changed course before. Dulu aku ni budak ICT. If i remain as ICT student, damn mmg aku dah hantok kapla kat dinding lah! Every sem deal with numbers! x tahan aku weyh. Some people said that maths is fun but to me maths is *&^%$!!!

But sumbody told me that statistic is very important if you wanna pursue your study to master in overseas. That is one of the subjects that they will look for, so i have to get good grade for statistic even when i hate it so much! I might wanna continue my study later, or not! I dont know but who knows what future got for me so amik je la kan subject yang aku x suke ni just for future sake!

Aku mmg x minat betul la nak blaja subject yang x de kene mengena dgn my dream job. But sumtimes people said that, you might end up become sumone else. I mean, belum tentu lg aku akan jadi script writer so these other subject might help me. Yeah.... have to agree with that. But still, why maths? Lain la kalau aku specialize in Organizational Communication. Students kat Aswara ade blaja maths ke?????

p/s : x pe wanie..... pelan2 kayuh katenye....

Wishful Thinking? I hope not.

2009-10-24T01:11:00.003+08:00

Is it too hard for me to be more simple and beautiful from the inside? I've been questioning myself a lot lately. Sometimes the things that i hate in people is actually living and growing inside of me. Is it a wishful thinking if i say that i want to get rid of it? Life will be more simple and beautiful if everyone have a really good heart. Why i kept judging people when the truth is i hated when people judge me too? What is wrong with me?

Why cant i be more happier for my family and friends? Why im so selfish and self centered? What happened to me for the last few years? I kept telling myself that for months! I kept wishing and hoping that tomorrow will be a better day for me. Tomorrow i will be a better person than yesterday but i end up become worse.

I believe everyone wants to be a better person everyday. Gotta be stronger to put all those negative things away and start gaining your positive side because i believe that everyone is actually nice but this cruel world make us change. Damn i hate that!

To all my friends, i just wanna say that im so sorry if i hurt your feelings and if i talked behind your back. But deep inside, i love all of you like i love myself. You guys have put colors to my life whether its dark or white, i still love you guys cause you guys used or once make me smile, and im so sorry if i have done anything that might hurt your feelings. Why cant we just be like when we're little kids before? So happy and not being judgemental? Life is so much simpler back then.

Stupid assumption

2009-10-19T15:41:00.002+08:00

For my script writing class, aku kene buat satu interview and its a group project. We have to choose a topic. Any topic and we must interview someone who is expert in that field. Its a 10 marks project so agak byk la kan. My mid term is ok but still i really want to score for this subject so agak la bersungguh2 buat project ni. My group members are Echah, Amni and Fadly. At last kitorg pilih tajuk Quality of IIUM Communication Students. We decided to interview Dr Baiduri who is the Dean of Communication Department, Prof Yusof and Dr Saodah. Kiranye org2 kuat kat department la.

Kitorg prepared 5 questions. And questions tu is about the quality of IIUM Communication student, why people underestimate comm student from UIA and we are also questioning about the facilities provided here in IIUM. Is it good enough? These are the questions that we want to asked the lecturers. My group member dah interview Dr Baiduri and i cant join them because on that time i got class. Tomorrow plak nak interview Dr Saodah.

Pagi tadi, all of us pergi interview Prof Yusof. Dia ni kira moyang kat comm department la cause all lecturers comm pernah jadi student dgn Prof Yusof ni. I was the moderator for this project and when i asked him about the facilities and why people underestimate comm student here in UIA, dia mcm tak puas hati plak. Aku mcm dah cuak. Suddenly dia tanye based on what kita buat fakta mcm ni? Ha, ape aku nak jawab weyh? But its true. Slalunye org slalu pandang tinggi budak2 comm from Uitm Shah Alam. Thats what i said to him. Skalinye dia jawab balik ha amik kau! Macam2 dia bg point nak prove kan yang UIA is way better than Uitm Shah Alam.

Aku pon at first assumed mcm tu jgk. Dulu pon aku giler sgt nak masuk uitm shah alam cause i taught kat sane offered the best for comm student. Tapi dapat uia plak. But after the interview, aku mcm bangga plak jadi student comm kat uia. Haha. Prof Yusof mmg explain good enough la why uia is better. In terms of everything. First, uia is international university and the course and subjects offered pon ikut international level. For example Statistic, Research Method and Comm Theory. Dia ckp kalau score subject2 ni senang giler la nak continue Master kat overseas. Even when your cgpa is lower than 3.0. Then dia ckp, uitm shah alam ade 5 labs only and uia ade 7 labs. UIA is well known in foreign countries and byk yang nak hantar students studies kat sini. Ramai grads from uia now dah jadi diplomats in their countries. Dekat Uitm Shah Alam, x de lansung lecturer comm yang bertaraf proff. Kat uia ade je. Mcm2 lagi lah dia ckp tadi. Agak tergamam la aku. Seriously my assumption sgt salah for all this while! Haha. Bagus jgk kitorg pilih tajuk ni. Terbuka mata sikit. Kalau x asyik nak kate Uitm Shah Alam je bagus.

Tomorrow nak interview Dr Saodah. Maybe she will add more to this. I cant wait to hear the result of the project. Hehe. I still dont know nak continue study or not cause so far i have no experience at all working so mcm x sabar2 jgk nak start kerja. Maybe lagi dpt byk experience bila dah kerja. Tapi continue study pon ok jgk. We'll see la mcm mane nnt. So far, cant decide yet!

Judging!

2009-10-15T23:34:00.003+08:00

Its true that we cant avoid judging others. But sometimes ape yang kita judged at first to bole jadi salah. Including me. I hate it when people judged me and called me names! Hmm, but too bad sometimes i end up being one of them. I also tend to judged others based on their character and personality. But later bila dah kenal, their true colors revealed. Not like what i was expected. Funny huh? Is it just me or everyone pon mcm tu jgk?

Its been about 3 years im in UIA and yeah i judged people a lot! Surprisingly, semua nye x betul! Ade la satu girl ni kuat giler melaram and cantik2 lah. Mmg jenis yang jaga penampilan betul. At first i taught Omg! giler lah minah ni. Poyo betul nak dressing smpi mcm ni. And i taught confirm this girl type yang sombong giler but i was wrong! After dah kenal dgn dia ni, i asked myself again, why i hated her at first? Theres nothing wrong with her. She's being herself and aku susah kat mane? Then i taught, maybe i was a little jealous of her. Not because she is beautiful which she is but i envy her high level of confidence. Like she doesnt care at all about what others think of her. I wish i have that kind of confidence! Really! And this other girl, omg i hated her so much because i think she is so fake and i dont know how to describe her. Im kind of not comfortable when im with her and at last, she's fine. She's being herself. Totally herself and she doesnt afraid to show the world who she really is! And i asked myself again, why dulu aku x suke dia? Dia x pernah pon cari gadoh dgn aku. Geleng kepala je aku bile aku pike balik perangai aku ni.

And, kalau kat UIA biasa lah, kalau girl yang pakai tudung labuh2 ni confirm kite dah set dlm kapla otak kite ni yang diorg ni mesti baik, alim. Aku pon sometimes mcm tu jgk. Kalau tudung labuh je confirm baik lah ni. Tapi rupenye suka tgk ceite American Pie! Haha! Ape cite weyh? Aku ingat org mcm ni tgk ceite Nur Kasih je. Haha. Seriously after this, i wont judge people based on what they wear or their personality cuz inside them its totally different color. Aku x terkejut pon kalau ade minah yang tudung labuh tapi jarang semayang. And aku x terkejut pon kalau ade punk girl jaga semayang. To me, semua orang sama je. Konon nye yang melainkan kita ni pakaian tapi salah! Dalam hati x de sape yang tahu. Lantak lah ape org lain nak buat, kite susah kat mana? Just be friends with everyone and put in your mind that everyone is equal.

Pelan-pelan kayuh

2009-10-06T12:09:00.003+08:00

Lately i've been using that quote a lot. Haha, seriously im trying to calm myself. Byk giler kerja for this sem and as usual, dah jadi habit aku untuk buat kerja last minute. I dont know what is my problem because every new semester, azam konon x nak tangguh kerja but sekerat jalan je lah. In the middle of semester dah mula dgn perangai lama balik.

This semester im taking statistic yang terkenal dgn byk kerja. Haha. Yeah and last nite for the first time im wearing baju kurung smpi kul 2 pagi! Baju tu aku pakai dari pagi tau. Tu nak menunjukkan mmg kerja aku byk sgt. Yesterday, my class started at 12 smpi 1.30 tapi class tu cancel then bagus la bole buat stats assignment yang kene submit today. I taught bole la siap kan but x siap2 jgk. At 2pm i got my arabic class until 3.30 then continue lagi buat stats assignment until 5 cuz pukul 5 aku ade class lg until 6.30. Then after my class finished, i have to study cuz i got a mid term exam at 8.30 so aku stay je lah kat cafe sorang2 smpi kul 8. Dinner pon sorang je sambil study all my notes. Nasib la dah prepared the notes earlier. Exam start at 8.30 but i have to go early cause i have no idea where is the venue. Nasib la dpt jumpa on time.

The format for the exam is true and false questions and overall 20 question so dpt la aku siapkan 30 minutes only. Then aku terus g discussion dgn my friends cause assignment stats ni x habis2 lg. Berejam kot nak siapkan smua padehal 10 marks je. Busy mcm nak dpt 30 marks je. At last siap jgk and i reached my room safely around 2am. Kat bilik pon aku x terus tido cause i have to touch up the assignment so nampak lagi kemas. Omg i hate maths, i hate numbers, i hate calculations! Seriously x de interest lansung. Finally dpt jgk tido around 4 am padehal class the next day start at 8.30. Nasib la dpt bangun. Thanx to Erin for waking me up.

Byk betul keje this month. Lepas raya mmg all out lah. Kerja all the time. At this time ade lagi 5 more assignments to go before final starts in November. Hopefuly my cgpa naik la sket this sem. Cant believe i only got 2 more long sem to go then habis officially. Sekejap je. Aku suke betul gune kan that quote 'Pelan2 kayuh'. I think its true. Kalau byk kerja, buat slow2 and relax pon bole siap jgk instead of giving up terus kan. Kalau mase kat matric dulu, everytime when theres a lot of work to do and when i feel like i cant take it anymore, aku give up terus. Just like that. But i got my lessons already so i dont want to repeat the same mistakes again so i kept telling myself that buat kerja sikit2, lama3 bole habis. So actually, i think even when this sem byk kerja, aku x pernah rase setenang mcm ni. X de rase serabut sgt kepala otak. Ade la once in a while but x lah smpi teruk sgt smpi nak nangis.

So basically, im proud of myself. I can say that i changed a lot compared to myself mase kat matric dulu. Mase kat matric dulu, i dont care at all about my cgpa. I never try my best mase kat sane. But now bile dah masuk main camp and bile dah nak habis study, i do care about my cgpa and so on. I will always try my best to be the person i can be and if the result is just so-so then i think its ok cause i know that i have put my efforts to it. So i dont really feel that bad. Its not like im so nuts about getting all A's in my exam. I do target for an A but if i got B then i just accept it. Its not the end of the world. Its just the beginning. Am i right? So lets pelan2 kayuh together and hopefuly i will reach the destination where i want to go.

Regret????

2009-10-01T21:00:00.005+08:00

Thats what i've been feeling lately. Yesterday aku register subject for new semester and i realized that i only have to complete another 7 subjects for course subject out of 24. Omg, i feel like it was yesterday i decided to major in Mass Comm and now dah nak habis ? Time is running so fast! Haha, dulu2 complain rase mcm lambat sgt nak grad but now rase mcm kejap plak.

Its not like i love UIA that much smpi nak sedih mcm ni, but yang aku regret sgt skrg ni cuz i feel like i didnt get that much knowledge here in UIA. Dulu2 aku study just for the sake of getting good grades and just for attendance. I dont really understand what i memorized before so whats the point of getting good grades right?I cant recall back what i have learn years before when i first entered UIA. Maybe i can recall a bit but most of the knowledge that i've learned smua hilang!

Rase mcm nak amik balik subject yang aku dah amik tu. Tapi kalau buat mcm tu confirm berjanggut la nak tunggu grad kan. This is why sometimes student yang dapat cgpa gempak pon susah nak dapat kerja or tak tau nak buat kerja. Its because they dont know how to apply it practically what they have learned and they cant remember any of it. Gosh im so scared to death! Bulan May next year,i'll start my practical and i dont know if i can handle it that well or not. I guess im not comfortable leaving my comfort zone and start a new life maybe? Working life. Omg! That is so bizzare! Beyond me. I've never work before. I have zero experience working with anyone. Hopefuly everything is going to be fine.

Back to reality!

2009-09-27T00:23:00.018+08:00

Adoi, bosan nye cuti raya dah habis. Im still in a mood for raya lah. Open house maybe? Anyone? Jgn malu2 jemput aku ok! Haha. Seriously, i need to stop eating now! Asyik nak makan je time raya nie. 2 weeks semester break is over and as usual, aku akan merungut everytime cuti dah habis. Mase nak balik raya, omg mmg aku dah set dlm otak aku to forget about all the stress and the shitty things that happened to me and i said to myself that i just want to enjoy raya. Forget about assignments, mid terms. Screw it! Haha. Now when the holiday is over, i guess i have to go back to reality.

Even when i have tried to motivated myself to always think positive, sometimes it still cant help it. But what to do? what other choice i have? Kalau nak rehat goyang kaki je kat rumah, g kawin lah! Jadi suri rumah 24/7 which is sooo not gonna happen! Haha.

Ok, tomorrow i really need to start study for mid terms. Nasib baik la i have prepared the notes earlier, x lah kabut sgt. I just have to read and understand it and hopefuly bole buat mid term dgn baik. My mid term will be on this coming tuesday. Then i have to start preparing for my Parenting class assignments which i still dont know what i have to do actually. Haha. Typical me!

I checked the calendar before so i have like around 1 month for classes then final exam will start. Omg, there goes one more sem and the next thing i know i will be leaving UIA. Haha. Sometimes rase sekejap je, sometimes rase lame plak. Macam2! But one thing i know i have to do now is to breathe and take it easy. Tension2 pon x gune. X menyelesaikan masalah pon. Am i right?

Anyway, since my sem break is not officially over, mood raya pon ade lg so aku upload sket la some of Raya's picture. Malas nak upload semua. :)

Al-Kisah Hari Raya

2009-09-25T17:39:00.005+08:00

Its the 6th day of raya already and im already back home. I still feel like it was yesterday i was busy packing my stuff to go to my Kampung. Its just a blink of an eye and everything is over. My getaway is over. Hmm, i dont know why i called it a getaway. Maybe because i need a break from my busy life in campus. Yeah, thats what i need! I was so happy to go back to celebrate Hari Raya with my family and cousins. Duit raya pon bole tahan byk jgk but i dont think i have to mention brape jumlah duit raya aku this year. Remain secret. Hehe.

Tapi, time raya ni lah mcm2 kisah aku nak cerite cause this is the time a lot of things happened and it made me realized about something. I am so sick with my uncles and aunties attitude. Seriously i had enough of it. Everytime bila balik raya they will start asking me question yang to me agak annoying. Contohnye 'Bile nak grad? Amik course ape? Knape lambat sgt grad?' and so on. Diorg mcm pandang rendah gile kat aku and i know that they think course mass comm cam hampeh je. Kire mcm course yang cikang la x bole hidup. Excuse me? Ni bukan zaman 'ibu mertuaku' ok yang nak kene jadi lawyer, engineer, doctor baru bole hidup! Sumpah boring! Get a life la. Im so gonna prove to them yang course yang aku amik ni bole buat aku senang later in future. Just wait and see and when that time comes, diorg x bole nak ckp ape lg and i will laugh like hell! Haha.

My uncles and aunties ni mcm banggakan sgt pasal anak diorg. Cerite kat aku mcm mane their life duduk kat MRSM. Please lah. Like i care. Bile my uncle cerite aku nak tergelak pon ade. My uncle ni punye mcm dah bagus la cerite kat aku, anak dia mmg x bole tgk tv. Mmg my uncle ni kawal ketat gile la anak dia ni. Then i said to myself, sampai bile dia nak kontrol? For how long? Kalau dah terlalu control sgt, then once bile anak dia dah masuk university, and on that time my uncle dah x bole nak control lg, haha time tu mmg anak dia akan culture shock habis lah! Silap2 bole rosak terus anak dia weyh. And if anak dia nnt continue study kat luar negara, i dont know what else to say. Mmg culture shock to the max! In my opinion, thats not the right way to treat your children. If you think by controlling them is the best way, think again. For how long you want to control them? Sooner or later they will grow up and they need to do certain things like what teenagers usually normally do. I mean not the bad stuff la. Kalau guna internet pon x bole lansung, just imagine mcm mane anak dia nak survive nnt bile masuk university.Kalau gune google pon x reti, mcm mane kan. Susah la hidup.

Lagi sorang my uncle ni mmg slalu sgt pandang rendah kat aku. Cam bagus je. He always think that anak-anak dia tu bagus sgt. But the truth is. anak dia sendiri yang cerite kat aku yang dia kuar with this guy and that guy and i dont think the father which is my uncle know the real character anak dia ni. Aku geleng kepala je cause i know the truth. Everytime balik kampung, judging is common. Its normal already.

Sometimes i think that my uncles and my aunties ni treat their childrens like a product. They invest money for them so they can go to tuition. They sent them to tuition so that their children will know the spot questions for the exam like UPSR, PMR and SPM. Then bile anak dia dapat straight A's, mula la berlagak nak mampos. Gi kecoh satu kampung pasal anak diorg ni.Please lah. Kat kampung hari tu, my cousins asyik kene marah je dgn their parents cause diorg dah nak exam so like every hour diorg check anak diorg study ke x. Omg, this is so sick! In fact, my cousins pon came to me and tell me their problems. Diorg ckp diorg tension sgt their parents buat diorg mcm tue. I totally understand. Aku kesian jgk kat diorg ni. Ade sorang org kampung aku ni cerite kat aku yang pak cik dia ni pon suke sgt mengutuk org. Anak org tu dia nak kutuk, anak org ni pon dia nak kutuk. But he have no idea mcm mane perangai anak dia yang sebenarnye. Everyone taught that anak dia ni baik giler la. But the truth is, anak dia ni kaki minum weyh. Kaki clubbing smpi pagi. Kalau bapak dia tau, mmg terkejut giler lah. Haha. Sick sick sick.

I just hope that based on what i have seen so far, i hope that it can help me to become a good parent later in future. Aku x nak anak2 aku rase tension smpi mcm ni. Seriously kesian. So yeah this is what i called Al-Kisah Hari Raya. Mcm2 cerite, mcm2 ragam org. Anyway, gambar raya x bole nak upload cuz laptop aku buat hal plak. L8er maybe. Last but not least, dont judge cause its........ sick!

Best buffet ever!

2009-09-17T14:38:00.005+08:00

Last Sunday, me and my family went to Atrium Sunway to buka puase. My cousin and my uncle aunty pon join same. So overall 10 org la. Memang best! Last year pon pernah skali buka puase kat sane. Atrium punye buffet seorg mmg la mahal but its totally worth it! Aku pon x tau how many calories dah masuk dalam badan aku just for one meal haha. Ok recall back makan ape. Hmm, start with seafood, then mihun dgn daging, then satay, puding susu, cake, air grape 3 glass! Omg, gile ok! Kalau nak ikutkan nak makan lagi but nanti takut meletop plak perut! Haha.

Kalau dah smpi sini mmg dah lupe diet. Screw diet la. Kalau nak diet better x yah g buffet kan? Haha. Tapi lepas makan mule la sebok nak timbang berat badan. Makanan yang paling best that nite is the seafood and puding susu. Tersangat sedap. Memang terbaik lah! Udang dia sgt fresh!

I love to eat prawn tapi malas gile nak kopek kulit udang so kat sini dah tersedia kopek tinggal nak makan je. Ha, ape lagi kan? Memang melantak lah! Mushroom dia pon so damn juicy! But this time salmon fish plak x de. Sedey. Puding susu dia pon terbaik! At first mase aku amik tu i taught that was cheese cake, tapi puding susu. So creamy ok! Aku amik 2 slices. Time tu dah nak habis dah so aku amik la dua. Then lepas dah habis, aku nak lg then aku tgk dah habis! Sedih! Kalau aku tau puding dia sedap mcm ni aku amik byk2 tadi! Hopefuly next year ade lg.

Seriously, buka puase kat sana sgt best! Lagi best dari berbuka kat Singgahsana hotel! Singgahsana hotel tu makanan dia smua makanan melayu. Dah la sesak nak mampos! Dah mcm dekat bazar ramadhan plak.

Puase tinggal lagi 2 hari and insyallah raya this Sunday. Cant wait! Baju raya tahun ni aku ade 3 pasang. Semua cantik tau! Haha. Will stay in kampung for 1 week then lepas tu sebok dgn open house lah ape lagi. Famous Malaysian tradition! Org Malaysia ni mmg kuat makan! Betul tak? :)

Its been 13 years!

2009-09-12T07:54:00.005+08:00

Yep, its been 13 years! Time is running like tissue. Nama budak ni Zafirah Saufi. Omg, how can i desribe her in words? Hmm, one thing for sure, no matter what happen, me and Fiera will remain friends forever. The first time i talked to her was in 1996. Sgt lama kan? On that time, both of us in different class. Tapi once a week ade PTS class so my class combine dgn class dia. Aku duduk la sebelah dia. Omg she is so tiny! Kecik nak mati. Mcm budak tadika pon ade but look at her now! Lagi tinggi dari aku kot. Cheit! On that time i still remember pencil box dia Tom & Jerry. Ahaha comel je kan? Ingat x pencil box yang ade 2 side tu? Then ade tempat letak pencil and the eraser. I think zaman skrg budak2 dah x pakai dah pencil box mcm tu. Haha classic weyh! Time tu she is so nice to me. Then baru aku ingat dia ni pon skolah agama same dgn aku jgk. Since then baru la aku start ckp2 dgn dia. Mase kat skolah agama, bila time semayang, aku suke tgk dia pakai telekung! Cute to the max! Aku suke cubit pipi dia! Haha, i dont think she remember all this but thanks to my memory.

1997-1999, darjah 4 smpi darjah 6 we're getting closer. Mase darjah lima both of us jadi librarian. Skema! I know! Badan dia kecik gile ok bila pakai uniform librarian tu. I still remember every friday librarian kene stay in the library for 1 hour to clean up the book shelves. Susun balik buku according to the number and so on. But me and Fiera got better things to do. We play hide and seek! Yes, dah darjah 5 pon nak main nyorok2 lg. Mcm budak2! Haha! Kalau time aku nyorok senang je dia nak jumpe aku but bile time dia plak nyorok, omg susah gile nak jumpe because she is so small! Dia selalu menyorok kat blakang rak buku, so mmg aku x nampak lah. Sometimes bawah meja pon dia bole muat!

Lepas tu plak, every Friday, me and Fiera ade swimming class for 1 hour kat Kelab Syabas. At first aku join dulu then when i told her how exciting and fun it was, then dia pon nyebok jgk nak join! Yang poyo tu, swimming suit dia mcm ballerina! Yang mcm skirt tu! Haha. Baju nak cantik tapi berenang pon fail. How many times instructor tu dah ajar pon still tenggelam! Hahaha! Lawak je. Org lain semua dah ke next level. Org lain dah berenang kat tempat dalam. Dia still struggle kat tempat yang bole pijak kaki tu. Haish, kesian plak aku tgk budak kecik ni, then aku pon g la teman dia kat tempat cetek sampai la dia lulus. Then finally baru la dia bole masuk tempat dalam, then bila dah smpi tempat dalam, penakut plak! Haish. Org dah berenang patah balik, dia still x nak lepas tangga swimming pool tu. Haha. Lawak betul!

Darjah 6 plak, our hormones makin menjadi2! Haha, both of us berebut nak Dwayne Johnson. Or better known as The Rock! Haha. jgn main2! We know everything about him. Buku biography The Rock pon nak beli jgk. Theres one time Geraldine, one of our close friend dulu pretend like interview Fiera. Then Geraldine asked ' How long you two had sex together?' and Fiera dgn selamba pon jawab ' From 2 to 5 am!' Hahaha. Aku gelak mcm nak mati weyh! x padan dgn kecik, tapi otak bole tahan! Mase darjah 6, AJ from BSB pon budak ni layan. Fanatik nak mati. Everyday mention about AJ. Ahhh, those were the time of boy band. No one can resist. Aku pon layan but i like Kevin! Hehe.

Thank god mase form 1, we both still in the same school. Yep yep, Assunta for life! But too bad, we're not in the same class anymore. Dia class atas, aku class bwh sikit. Ye lah, UPSR dia lagi ok dari aku. Heh. Mase form 1, sekolah ptg so pagi tu mmg aku slalu lepak rumah dia. Theres one time ni, kitorg lapar so decide nak goreng nugget. X tau la, kat mane silapnye, nugget tu jadi lembik. Bile makan i feel like chewing wet tissue! Euw! Haha. Bodo jer. Mase form 1 nampak sket la badan dia ni dah naik. I mean her height. Tapi, badan dia naik mendadak mase form 2. Seriously bertukar! Aku plak yang remain terbantut! Chet! Then i asked her whats her secret bole tinggi mcm ni and you know what she said? ' Aku byk makan daging!'. Kepala otak kau! Makan daging byk kalau nak gemok! Haha, then she said everytime bila dia tersedu, jgn minum air cuz time tu la ketinggian akan naik. Adoi, ape punye doctor la dia ni!

Mase form 3 kesamdolan kitorg makin menjadi2! Makin budak2 rasenye! Haha. Tapi mase form 3 is the phase where we are searhing for identity. Time ni mcm2 crisis la ade. At first dressing mcm ni, then dressing mcm tu plak. Fiera time ni dah makin ganas sket. Dah x layan BSB but prefer Blink 182 instead. Haha. Mcm2 lah. On that time kitorg joined this group called 'The Shindoi' dan ahli2 nye ialah Me, Fiera, Syaz, Ain n Nadia. Yep, our very own club. Club ini mengggunakan pelbagai bahasa yang sumtimes pelik sumtimes lawak. For example like Suntadey, Shinna, Shintala wey, Shintala wey wey dan bermcm lg. Hmm, whats the meaning of this words pon i have no idea but we always use it just for fun.

Masuk form 4 aku sama class dgn dia. Tapi x lama cuz she moved to other school. Rumah pon dah duduk jauh kat Shah Alam. Sedih sgt. But what to do. Ade la jgk once in a while, we talked on the phone tapi dah jarang la. Masing2 dah ade life sendiri. But when SPM is over, ntah mcm mane both of us become close again. Hmm maybe through Myspace kot. See, sape kate internet ni byk keburukan? Hehe. Start from there we become close again. Every semester break, we always make a plan for gathering. But sumtimes agak susah jgk la cuz we're busy so everytime bile dapat jumpe we will have a good time and appreciate it because we know mmg susah nak jumpe. Last Sunday, me, Fiera and Syaz berbuka puase kat Mid Vall. We captured it a lot so that we will always remember the moment. Bila jumpe asyik nak gelak je. Always with our jokes! Stupid jokes actually tapi yang bodo tu la yang lawak! Haha.

I really hope this friendship will last forever. To be honest, of all my friends, dgn Fiera la aku paling byk ade sweet memories that i will never get rid of. More memories to come as we grow older and more exciting life experience we will face and i hope we will always be there for each other. Love u lots Fiera! xoxo

p/s : Credits to Syaz for taking this beautiful pics. Jgn kate aku curik gambar kau plak weyh!

What kind of Phobia is this?

2009-09-04T14:29:00.003+08:00

I think, each and everyone of you people ade certain phobia. Kadang2 tu yang merepek2 pon ade. Takut dgn tinggi la, takut tikus la. Mcm my mum, sgt takut dgn katak. Me, im more of the girl yg takut tikus! Ok, now i have figured it out that ade lagi satu benda yang aku takut sgt and i dont know what should i call it. Maybe future phobia. Yes, im so obsessed about my future and what its gonna be like.

Theres always a question in my head. Stupid ridiculously question la. For example like, i always obssesed about what will happen to me in 10 years time. What if i didnt get any job? What if my current boyfriend that im so in love with for almost 6 years will not be my future husband? What will happen to me if i cant have my own child? What will happen to me if my husband is seeing someone else behind my back? What if he wants to marry other women? What if something bad happen to me that i cant think of anything else beside taking pills and off to the grave? And the question of 'what if' goes on and on non stop! Seriously pathetic and stupid of me to think about all this but i cant help it. Always there in my head. Padehal, benda ni semua lambat lg then why i have to think about it? Thats the problem!

Is it just me or is there anyone else have the same phobia like me? I hope so. If not, i am so sick and need to consult with someone. Im scared to death to think about this crap. Yes, it is crap! And why i still think about this? I have no idea. Maybe i should have strong faith in everything. I want to be that girl who is strong and can face anything. But im so afraid that im so fragile and weak. Can i handle this situation? Omg, please. I hope all the 'what if' things that i kept thinking wont happen to me. Slalu la jgk aku doa so that all the bad things wont happen. But i know, mane ade life yang senang. Ade la jgk once in a while we will face certain problems and obstacles but hopefuly tak la teruk sgt. I dont think i can handle that well. Hopefuly, my future will be okey. And hopefuly this stupid phobia will fade away. I love myself and i dont want anything bad happen to me. Insyallah.

Bohsia

2009-09-03T23:57:00.002+08:00

Hmm, dah tgk ceite bohsia? Hmm, tgk lah, then let me know what you think of this movie. To me, this movie ade la yg ok and ade yg ko. Tapi hero dia handsome weyh! Rempit pon rempit lah! Hahah! I just watched this movie. Ceite ni agak pelik sket. Cause, i think this movie has no intro, no climax and no ending. Just simple story. At first, i taught what the hell? Then bile pike balik, sape yang buat rules kate semua filem kena ade climax plak kan? To me, filem kalau cerite tu bagus dah cukup. X de climax pon x pe. Sumtimes, ceite2 yg lain, climax ade but no moral values lansung. Then what for? Aku rase ceite ni kalau org betul2 concentrate and feel it, this is one great movie.

Stop comparing Malaysian film dgn Hollywood cause admit it, we are far left behind. If we keep comparing our local movies dgn Hollywood's masterpiece mmg smpi bile2 lah x kan menang. Judge the movie based on the story and no comparing. From there, we can know if the film is good or not. Ok lah, ceite ni ade la a few scene yang agak dirty and sx yang aku x brape agree sgt but the truth is scene2 yang mcm ni la yang bole buat kan org sedar yg kite x nak smpi jadi mcm tu. As a women, kite tak nak org treat kite mcm sampah dlm ceite bohsia ni. So kalau x de scene2 yang mcm ni, mmg kurang feel. Kesedaran tu x de. But kalau amik pelakon yang bukan islam pon lagi better i think. X la controversy sgt.

Aku tertarik nak tgk filem ni cause i have read in the newspaper before review about this movie and so far more to positive. The cast pon, bukan muka2 typical filem mcm Fasha Sandha and Rosyam Nor. Pelakon2 smua yang usually berlakon drama je. So, its good la at least x la bosan sgt. I like Amy's character. Super fierce! No wonder la menang award haritue kat Festival Filem Malaysia. Watak Acai pon mmg rempit habis lah. Rase nak sepak je! But x nak, sebab dia comel! Haha.

Once in a while, jgn la dok layan ceite Hollywood je. Balance kan lah jgk. Ceite local pon tgk la jgk cause the truth is, ade jgk local film yang bagus. Tgk dulu baru nilai. Tapi, ceite Bohsia ni mmg different. Aku pon cam pelik cuz ceite ni x de climax cuz ceite dia simple je but full with something. Huh, ape aku ckp nih? x pe lah, biar aku sorang je faham. Hopefuly, one day aku boleh buat ceite mcm ni. X jadi director pon x pe but if miracle do exists then katekanlah one of my story di jadikan drama or filem and the director is Syamsul, Ahmad Idham, Kabir Bhatia or Rashid Sibir, omg terharu ok! Seronok giler! Insyallah one day. Nak sgt. But i dont know if i have the talent or not but i will try.When you do something that you enjoy and you love, you will never get bored. Thats what i've been telling myself. So, Bohsia mmg superb! the cast is superb! Cinematography pon superb! Cheers to Shamsul Yusof!

Ramadhan is here!

2009-08-22T00:35:00.005+08:00

Yeah, tonite semua dah start bertarawih. Me too. Haha, hajatnye this time of Ramadhan, i dont wanna miss any tarawih. Kalau malas nak g masjid, tarawih kat rumah pon boleh. I love Ramadhan. I dont know why. Sometimes its hard to describe your feeling in words. Bulan Ramadhan ni, if you do any good deeds then the reward will be double. Kalau buat dosa pon berganda jugak la. Thats why people always said that, byk kan recite the Quran during Ramadhan cause pahalanye berlipat ganda.

Everytime bila bulan puasa start, sure aku teringat yang my dad suka sgt ajak buka puasa kat luar and yeah he just love to go to the Bazaar Ramadhan. Borong byk gile makanan. Bole cover buka puasa for 1 week! Paling best makan murtabak. Haha. Murtabak ni mmg sinonim with my family. All my uncles, cousins pon dah tau. Everytime bulan puase mesti beli murtabak. Padahal, murtabak tu bukan time puase je ade, tapi bila bukan time Ramadhan, x de pon beli. If my dad went to the bazaar alone or without me, he still remember what i like to have for buka puase. Selalu dia beli air kelapa dgn nasi lemak! Sweet rite? Sometimes, when my stomach already full pon i forced myself to eat it just to jaga hati my dad. End up, rosak diet! Haha, but its worth it. My dad suka.

Just now my dad bagi i something. Dia bagi newspaper ads yang ade list of hotel and cool restaurant to buka puasa and he asked me to keep it. Haha, suka betul aku kalau buka puase kat hotel. Kalau dah buffet, screw diet lah! Tibai je melantak semua makanan! haha. Last Ramadhan paling best buka puasa kat Sunway Hotel. Sedap teramat! Western, Malay food smua aku bantai! On that time, i already set in my mind, its ok just eat it, you can regret later! Haha. Sanggup, makanan punye pasal!

It feels so good to spend your Ramadhan with your family and friends. Family the most. Bila bangun pagi nak sahur, semua muka ngantuk je x nampak mata. Tgh kunyah nasi pon mata tutup! Hehe. Klakar! I love Ramadhan. I always looking forward for Ramadhan. I just love the feeling. Nak buat benda yang baik pon rasa seronok. This ramadhan, im craving for Nasi Tomato and Ayam Masak Merah. Hopefuly dpt la esok or bile2 lah for buka puasa. Every year, i hope that this Ramadhan will be better then before. So, im trying to make the best out of it. Bukan la nak riak ke ape. I know that im not perfect, obviously x terlepas dari buat salah, but i always try my best to get the benefits from Ramadhan. Just like the others.

Screw you spot questions!

2009-08-20T16:48:00.003+08:00

Im not in a mood actually. Yesterday was my arabic mid term exam and i think i can pass but cukup2 makan je. At first i taught i can score better cause i have all the spot questions, not from my ustazah but from my friends ustaz. He did gave a hint on what to concentrate on and which page that is really important. So i taught great! Tak kan ustaz nak tipu plak kan. So, dengan semangatnye i memorized all the answers for the questions yang kononye akan kuar in the exams. I mean it, i memorized everything. Even for the essay question!

I went to exam venue feeling confident and i never feel this way before mase nak exam arab sebelum ni. Then when the examiner said we can open the paper, omg! Most of the question yang kononye kuar x de! Ade la a few but all the topics that i read and memorized semua x kuar! My hand was shaking and i cant believe it! I dont know what happen, maybe they change the questions last minute or ustaz tu tipu but tak kan ustaz nak tipu student plak? But too late.

I kept telling myself to try my best because that is all i can do. I think i can pass it. Like i said cukup2 makan je. Yang paling x puas hati tu, usually, for the essay questions, diorg akan tanye from the text book which i have prepared. Suddenly, the question is 'Ramadhan in Malaysia'. Ha ape aku nak tulis? If its in english sure la piece of cake, tapi ni in arabic weyh! One thing i know yang aku buat betul for the essay is, i wrote ' Ana uhibbu ramadhan fi malezia '. It means i love ramadhan in Malaysia, and the rest is just crap! Haha! But nak sedih2 pon for what, what done is done. The moral is, study semua and dont study yang spot2! sometimes, ustaz2 pon x bole pakai. And dont study last minute. If you study last minute, and when you know the spot question, topic lain mmg confirm x baca dah la and end up bile kuar yang x spot, menggigil! Sigh...

Al-Fatihah

2009-08-13T17:42:00.005+08:00

Ketua kumpulan nasyid terkenal Asri Ibrahim telah pulang ke rahmatullah pada pukul 11 pagi di Hospital Pantai. From what i heard, meniggal sebab sakit jantung. This is all too sudden. I always love his beautiful voice especially for takbir raya. Every Raya morning, when i heard his voice for takbir raya, i feel so peaceful. Suara dia mendayu-dayu. Lagu2 nasyid dia pon unik and totally different. Rabbani is one of my favorite nasyid group besides Raihan, Saujana and Brothers. Not a big fan of the latest nasyid group actually cause for me, they are so average and i think they just do it for the money. Nak glamor lebih la. I still remember when i was standard 5, aku masuk pertanding nasyid dengan 5 baiduri which is my class. Dalam group aku ade about 10 girls. Yang aku ingat ade Sarah, Aifaa, Sharafina, Nisa, Hamizah and yang lain aku x ingat sangat. Kitorg nyanyi lagu Rabbani which is lagu Maal Hijrah. Menang first place ok! Sweet memories. I really like him because he is a nice person and i've seen him before in Singgahsana Hotel twice mase berbuka puasa dengan family aku few years back and the last time i saw him bulan puase last year. He is so friendly. Its a big lost actually. I still cant believe it. I hope they still have the copy of the takbir raya by him cause i want to hear it raya tahun ni since bulan puase pon dah nak start next week. No one can replace him. A legendary in Nasyid entertainment. Seriously one in a million. Rest in peace Ustaz Asri. Pergi mu tiada pengganti. Al-Fatihah.

Hottest women ever!

2009-08-12T12:34:00.018+08:00

Everytime when i asked any guys who is the hottest sexiest women on earth, Jawapan nye mesti 3 minah ni. Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba or Megan Fox. X de pompuan lain ke? Am i the only one who thinks that diorg ni normal je? I mean not that hot smpi semua male species adore them like crazy! I think the reason of course will be their pouty irresistable lips. In my opinion, i think the hottest women ever will be Yulia Volkova. She's from Tatu, Russian Band. Remember the song All The Thing She Said and All About Us? Check out the video. She is so hot especially with her boy cut spiky hair! I like her pretty beautiful pair of eyes. I think if i get to see her in real life, i might kiss her cause she is the best female creature ever!

Russian girls semua lawa2. Seriously i cant deny it! In fact, lagi lawa then mat2 salleh in US mostly. I like her the most in Friend or Foe video clip. I love her spiky hair and she looked extremely hot ok! I watched that video like thousand times already and damn i wish i could meet her, and hug her. Ok, i sound like a horny lesbian here. Its just that i think she is so beautiful. So pretty, so hot, so sweet. All in one! Here are some of other women that men usually dont think of them as hot but i think they are hotter like fire burning! Check it out!

This is Natalie Imbruglia. She is one of my favorite singer back in the 90's until now. Her eyes also shines like crystal and her eyes drive me crazy! During the 90's she has this short boy cut hair and she looks super sexay. Even when now she is comfortable with long hair, she is still pretty! Check her out in one of her music video 'Wrong Impression'. Super sweet like honey bunny!

This is Mena Suvari. She is one of my favorite actress in Hollywood. I love her ever since i watched American Beauty. In that movie, her character is a trouble teenager. Still she look cute in a naughty way. Her eyes is also irresistable. In the movie Rumor Has It, she is Jenifer Aniston sister and in that movie, she is so cute that i want to hug her! Especially the part where she was crying wanting to see her sister. Such a cutie.

This is Olga Kurylenko. Her name is so classy. She is one of the hottie in James Bond movie. I cant get enough of her big dreamy pair of eyes. She looks like Angelina Jolie here with that pouty lips but her beautiful eyes that attracts me the most!

This is Winona Ryder. She is one of the guest star in all times favorite show Friends and i like her the moment i watched her on friends. I like to watched her in Edward Scissors Hand. She also has the prettiest eyes that no one can deny.

Nelly Furtado is one of my all time favorite singer ever since her hit single ' Im Like A Bird'. Her eyes is not that big and pretty like the others, but i just love her exotic look. Her eyes is like hiding so much dark secrets. Ok, i can be so imaginative at times. But one thing i know, i just love to look at her without knowing the actual reason. It just happen. Like i said, maybe it is because of her exotic style

Ashley Olsen is beautiful the way she is. I also like her twin Mary Kate Olsen but i think Ashley is better and i dont know why. Maybe her eyes is prettier. I grew up with Ashley Olsen. I mean, when i was little, i watched all her movies like a zillion times and i love her since i was a kid. She is cute too when she was little and its not a surprise that she grow up and become one of the prettiest women. At least for me. Her eyes is the best part of her!

My girl Lindsay Lohan. Love to watched her in The Parent Trap back during the 90's. I really taught she has a twins! I love her even more after i watched Freaky Friday, Mean Girls and Just My Luck. I think she looked twice as hot as the way she actually look in her hottest movie I Know Who Killed Me. In that movie she's a stripper. Enough said! Haha. I love her sweet pretty face and her smile and her laugh is so contagious. I believed that if she quit partying and concentrate more on her acting, she can easily grab the Oscar cause this lady got the talent!

Yoanna is the winner of America Next Top Model season 2. She is the best! From all the winners, i like her the most. She is elegent, confident, fierce and unique in her own way. But most of it, i love her short stylo hair and her eyes is so sexay!

This is Scarlet Ortiz. One of the best spanish actress. Love her in Secreto De Amor. She is like a walking Barbie Doll. So perfect! I like her long straight hair and her face is so pretty even without make up. Everytime when i see her cry on tv, i wish i could wipe her tears! She's like an angel!

Okey, that is super lenghty bla bla bla. Cant help it. I just love all this women. They are the best female creature ever breathing on earth! Haha, take that! I really wish that i could meet them but i have no idea why. Maybe just to see the beautiful of gods creation. Haha. If anyone ask me which body part that i like the most in my body, i will definitely say my eyes! And please take note that im not a lesbian. Im happily taken. I just adore them. Like crazy. I believe that even when they get old later, they still look pretty to me. Screw Angelina, Alba and Megan. I dont think they are that hot. Just pretty average. By the way, ini bukan my ranking tau. Just simply letak je. But the first will be Yulia of course! Pretty big eyes, whats not to love? :)

Cravin for doughnuts!

2009-08-08T20:09:00.006+08:00

Yesterday, i went to Mid Valley for a movie with my brother. The movie start at 3.30 pm and we arrived there around 12.30 so its kindda early. Tau la kan kat Mid Valley kalau nak beli ticket beratur mcm keretapi! Then for lunch suddenly rase mcm nak mkn doughnut. Lately i dont know why i like doughnuts so much! I ate 3 doughnuts and nak lagi actually but nak saving duit. Sedih... But the doughnut is so cute, kalau tengah lapar rase nak amik semua!

After our stomach almost explode, we went to Speedy Video. Hajatnye nak window shopping je but end up beli jgk! haha. I bought Jonas Brother's the movie vcd. I cant resist that, its Jonas Brothers ok! Salman plak, sebok nak beli vcd Inspector Gadget. At first i refused to buy that for him, then cam kesian plak masam je muka dia. And i know, he love that movie so much and we were looking for that cd for ages! So beli je la. If kakak dia beli, adiknye pon kene jgk kan.

Then, g MPH as usual, Salman nak sgt cari lagi 3d puzzle to add to his collection. Kat rumah tu dah bole buat muzium ok! Later we went to Jusco cause tengah sale. I was hoping to buy a new handbag but semua yang ade aku mcm x minat. Buruk ok! I need a handbag that can represent me. Haha, ape kes? I mean that i want a handbag that can say im not a girl, not yet a women. Not so expensive and not so Datin2 type, but more like a simple women. Tak nak la yang terlalu mcm budak2. X main lah! But too bad, maybe i expected too much smpi aku x jumpe pon handbag yang aku suke. Frust jgk but x pe, next time shop lagi! In fact, Salman pon dah bising cause berejam2 aku cari handbag, dia pon dah bosan.

After that, we went to the game arcade and as usual spent rm10 je. X bole byk2 sgt. Mid Valley punye game arcade is kindda lopek cause byk rempit melayu and rempit cina. I x suke! then we went to gsc. Usually aku biase beli pop corn but this time saje nak tukar angin so i bought nugget. Not bad! We watched Land of The Lost and that movie is super hilarious! I laughed all the time. Salman pon same! We had a good time! Then we headed home cause its 5.30 already.

Super Paranoid !

2009-08-07T00:04:00.003+08:00

Yep, i taught i was infected! Thank god its just a normal fever. Sekarang semua tgh sebok2 pasal virus H1N1 and the virus is spreading so fast! Rase mcm baru semalam i heard about the virus existence in Mexico and i said to myself 'Nasib baik jauh dari Malaysia'. But now its everywhere. Even jumlah kematian also is increasing! Takut weyh! Few weeks back i read in newspaper that many University dah tutup for about a week just to make sure that the virus wont spread everywhere and i was hoping that UIA pon tutup jugak.

This week i heard so much rumor telling that the virus is in UIA now that one of the students is infected. And the first thing i said to myself is 'Great, so bile UIA nak cuti?' Gile selfish kan? I know. I never thought of how dangerous it is that the virus is in UIA now. I guess i was so desperate for holiday maybe sampai aku dah tak pikir benda lain dah.

Last Monday mase class Radio Production, i was sitting next to Kak Na and i was asking her to send all her computer games to my pendrive. Then bile aku masukkan pendrive aku in my laptop, ade wizard cakap my pendrive ade virus so i asked Kak Na 'Ni nak delete or nak move to quarantine?' and she said ' Ape quarantine? Ingat H1N1 ke?' I was laughing like hell! Then on Wednesday mase class Radio Production jugak, Kak Na was missing then one of her friend informed the lecturer that Kak Na is infected. Damn, baru je last Monday buat lawak bodoh about it then bole betul2 terkena plak kan? Last time i heard, dekat UIA je dah ade 17 kes including the lecturer and staff and rumor has it that one of the student is dead. I dont know if its true or not but serious takut ok!

Then today, after i finished class at 1 pm, i packed my belongings and headed home cause i dont have class on Friday this sem. Since this morning aku rase mcm x selese. Flu all the time and badan aku pon mcm nak demam dah. Then suddenly aku baru teringat pasal Kak Na. Then i asked myself ' Aku pon dah kene ke?' Ye la, Kak Na was sitting next to me last Monday so there's possibility kan? And the early symptom is fever, flu and cough. Risau jugak la aku. Then aku fikir kalau betul la aku kene, what will happen to me if aku kene quarantine? Camne dgn keje aku yang bertimbun? Tak pasal2 kene tangguh sem then when will i grad?? All things semua lah aku pike takut punye pasal. Time tu lah aku dok recall back all movies yang involve pasal virus like I Am Legend, Resident Evil. Camne eh if this virus destroy all the mankinds on earth? Heh, ape aku merepek ni?

After that, i told my mum that i want to go check out then mase kat clinic, the doctor said that it was just a little fever and he gave me antibiotic. Leganya! Haha, i was so stupid being scared for nothing! Thank god. I hope i'll feel better tomorrow so all this paranoid feeling can go away and leave me alone. I have lots of better things to do instead of worrying about things like this.

I love my so - called friends!

2009-08-03T15:32:00.004+08:00

Friends. What is the first thing u think when you heard this word? I have no idea. People said that everyone needs a friend and i couldnt agree more. But what if your so called friends keeps hurting you and drivin you nuts! Not only that, they also teased you and looked down to you and they just remember you when they're having a problem. Hmm, what kinds of problem? Boy problem!

I dont know what was i thinking. I still have no idea why aku still kawan dgn minah2 mcm ni. We were friends for years and terlalu byk kenangan aku dgn diorg ni. We laughed like hell everytime we met! We grew up together and we see the world together. But when times past by, as people always said, people change. Sometimes i dont even know them. Sometimes im still searching for my friends that i used to love in them but everytime when i did, they gave me more reason to hate them! But i cant. They are still my friends. My bestfriends. Or is it?

I keep asking myself lately, why i still want to be their friend? Why i still wanna meet them? I guess i have strong faith in everything. I always hope that one day they will just stop hurting me and become the girl i used to know years ago. I miss that girl. Not the ego self centered biatch they have become now.

Sometimes i wonder what i have done to make them treating me this way? Aku pernah sakitkan hati diorg ke? Or maybe aku x perasan. I dont know. But no matter what, i have tried to be nice with them. In fact when they need someone to talk to and when they were having problems, they asked me to call them and i did. Well i know its not right because she is the one who needs to talk to me and why the hell i have to call them? Exactly! Thats what i did just to show them that i do care about them and hoping that they could do the same things for me. But everytime when we meet up, they always tease me and hurt me like usual. Everytime when i met them i hope that they will change and we will have so much fun spending time together but at the end of the day, i end up crying on the way back home.

The same things will happen again when they have the problem and i will call them. And when we planned to meet up, they're still with their attitude that driving me crazy! But the thing is, i cant get enough of them. They are my friends for years! They can make me cry and also they can make me laugh like hell and i like it that way! Why cant they just make me laugh instead of making me cry? Is it because im wearing tudung? Maybe they think that when im wearing tudung i looked like mak cik. I never judged them on what they were wearing but why they keep teasing me? Is it because im short, im fat, im wearing tudung? Is this the reason?

Once me and my friend were in Zara in Mid Valley. I never shop at Zara before. Aku tak pernah beli baju kat Zara, Topshop, Doroty, Forever 21 and stuff because i usually beli kat jusco je. Me and my friend tgh tgk2 baju kat Zara that time and a few girls entered Zara. Rupenye all that girls is kawan member aku ni. They looked kindda hot la jgk. I mean sexay. Then one of the girls asked my friend 'U datang dgn sape?' and my so-called friend said 'I dtg dgn my friend, dia kat belah sane'. I was standing exactly next to her actually but i pretend i didnt heard it and just buat2 tgk baju. I couldnt get it. Why dia x nak mengaku aku kawan dia? Is it because im not up to date and maybe something wrong in the way i dress? I almost cry when she did that. I cant believe what she did to me. It hurts so much!

But when we were on the phone, i love talking to them. They make me laugh. Maybe thats why i am still being friends with them. No matter what they did to me, i dont know how long i can stand this. It hurts so much. And i dont have the guts to fight back cause i really care about this friendship. I dont want just because of one stupid fight, it can ruin everything that we had since we were young. I love them and i really hope that one day the will realize. Im still here for them if they need a shoulder to cry on and if they dont want to admit me as their friends, then it is fucking ok because i already used to it. If i was the one who want to meets them so badly but they give me all kinds of excuse not to, then what other choice do i have? I sill love them. What we had shared and what we had is so precious. Why cant they just call or sms me first? Why do i have to start everything? I dont think they care about me the way i care for them.

Well maybe in my case, i love friends who added a bright spot and also a dark spot to my life. Its a blend of black and white that it will become grey. Im okey with it.

Dysfunction

2009-07-31T17:15:00.003+08:00

Bila dunia dah terlebih maju, it leads to dysfunction system on earth. The nature is changing and kononye its peoples right. Yeah right! Everyone is fighting for individualism and now everywhere people is talking and encouraging people not to be afraid of yourself. Then it leads to people being gay and lesbian which is totally against the nature. God has created us as men and women and we need to find the opposite partner and there is no such thing as same sex lover. I mean not to that extend until you decide to get married with your same sex partner and involve in dysfunction sex activity. The world is getting weirder then ever!

Skrg, secara terbuka orang senang je admit that they are lesbian by putting their photos on facebook and thinking that there's nothing to be afraid of. Well at least have the respect to god. It is so bizzare! Celebrity pon makin byk yang mengaku. Ellen, Elton John, Lance, Clay and so on. Yang kelakarnye tu, this people bole ckp diorg dah dilahirkan mcm tu. So what? Now you blame to god? Wake up! Stop pin point at others and start blame it to yourself! Maybe theres an external factor but the main reason that you became like that is yourself cause you are the one who decide your path to be like that.

I will never support in same sex marriage! Im tottally against it! Its better that you become a loner instead of turning to something that you are no suppose to! Even when people tease and make fun of you, even when everyone is against you, you still have god. So people just stop all this stupid ridiculous activity of being gay and lesbian! God still love you so you dont have to change your sex! Clean up your mind. And if you dont believe in god's existence, then you can go to hell with Will Smith and Tom Cruise with their stupid scientology!!!

The Storyteller is gone

2009-07-30T17:57:00.004+08:00

Yasmin Ahmad. Sape tak kenal dgn dia? She is one of the best director in Malaysia. All of her masterpiece is valuable and unique. Sepet, Gubra, Rabun, semua pernah menang international awards. Aku pon suke jugak karya Yasmin especially Sepet. Petronas commercial yang idea dia pon aku suke. Everytime dah nak Hari Raya or Hari Merdeka mmg aku slalu tunggu2 iklan Petronas hasil kerja Yasmin. I like Tan Hong Ming commercial the most! But now she is gone and left us wanting for more. People are gonna miss all her unique creative idea.

Compared to other film director, Yasmin is unique. Hasil karya dia pon very unique and lain dari yang lain. Trademark dia ni satu je. Menyatukan all different races in Malaysia which is good. Dalam filem2 dia ni, ada je semua kaum like Malay, Chinese and Indian. For example in Sepet, Orked a malay girl fall in love with a chinese guy. Dalam cerite Tale n Time pon Yasmin x fokus pada kaum melayu cuz involved sekali family India. Iklan2 Petronas pon Yasmin mengetengahkan semua kaum equally. Sapa lagi film director yang buat mcm tu? She used to said that everyone deserve to be treated equally. This is the medium how to teach people. She believed that media is a medium to teach people how to be man again.

Filem2 dia penuh dengan message and moral values and also cultures. Filem dia simple je and truly shows the reality of Malaysia. Pelakon2 yang dia pilih pon muka2 biase. Setengah director filem tu nak muka pan asian je cuz nak drama laku. Buat ape kan? When i watched Yasmin's films and ads, aku bole tau yang ini karya orang melayu and orang Malaysia.Cause most of filem melayu sekarang dah kurang menggambarkan realiti Malaysia atau realiti melayu.

Aku mmg x minat filem2 Razak Mohaideen. For me, his film is nothing and i think dia buat filem is just for the money. Not because of his passion and just see the result. Filem dia penuh dgn pelakon yang langsung dont know how to act but they are choosen because they are famous. For example filem2 dia penuh dgn bintang2 Akademi Fantasia yang x reti berlakon. I've seen a few of his film and i have no idea what was he thinking. Banyak lagi pelakon yang bagus but why nak kutip Akademi Fantasia plak? because he want his film to be box office and he couldnt care less about the quality of the film.

Banyak pengiat seni yang mengkritik hasil kerja Yasmin yang kononnye terlalu open about bende2 yang sensitif. Bile aku fikir balik ade la a few things yang for me agak open. Tapi kalau sampai nak haramkan filem dia tu aku rase dah melebih la. Until now i havent watch filem Muallaf and i heard that it is good. Its a big lost to the industry. What happen next bile one of the best director is gone? She is the storyteller. She is truly something. The truth is im gonna miss her brilliant work. For those who want to involve in the industry, Yasmin is the best role model. In fact i also looked up to her. Gone too soon.

I need a vacation...

2009-07-24T16:55:00.006+08:00

Anyone? Seriously i cant wait any longer. I really want to go there. Not only Los Angeles, i also want to visit the Eiffel Tower, Rome, Switzerland, Australia but when? Dah la nak pergi sana ticket je dah mahal nak mampos. Belum belanja kat sana lagi. Sigh... Sometimes i used this reason to motivate myself to study hard so i can get a very good job and great salary then i can go wherever i want without worrying about money! Wah! Alangkah seronoknye! But i know it takes times. No easy way to achieve anything right? Sometimes rase jealous plak tgk kawan2 yang study in overseas. They gained a new experience and i really want that to happen to me. But too bad i didnt have guts to do it. I cant imagine myself in other country alone and dont know what to do.

Mmg la seronok pegi oversea cause no one will ever judge you cause nobody cares. I can do whatever i want. But i know that i will miss my family and friends so much that i rather stay here in my own country. I really hope that one day i can go to Hollywood! I want to see the Hollywood Sign, The Universal Studio, Walk of Fame. I want to see other cultures because i think learning about other cultures is very interesting because each of it is unique in their own way.

Kalau la jadi aku pegi LA aku nak pegi time Summer. Sure happening siot! haha. Sabar wanie. Thats what i keep telling myself over and over again. I also want to go Amsterdam nak tgk bunga tulip kat sane. Cantik weyh! Mcm dalam fairy garden. Its very colorful and tulip is my favorite flower! Filem hindustan slalu shooting kat sana cause tempat tu mmg cantik. Kalau ada lagu hindustan kat taman bunga besar2 tu dekat Amsterdam la. Nama taman tu Keukenhof. Once i watched a documentary about it in Majalah 3. Bengang je aku tgk host Majalah 3 tu free2 je dpt g sane! I want to go too! Seriously i need a vacation. Isnt this beautiful??!

Shout Awards da bomb!

2009-07-18T00:54:00.011+08:00

So Shout Award is over and one thing i can say is 8tv nails it! not only that, the performances is also awesome. At first i admit im being a bit sceptical because i never heard of any band like Pesawat, Caprice and so on. I assumed i might get bored and maybe i will just watch it just to know who grabs the award but i watched it just now from the beginning till the end and i totally enjoyed it to the bits! The graphic the visuals, everything is awesome! Totally like MTV awards and it is like world class award. This is the most happening award show i have ever watched in Malaysia. I mean it! Credits to 8TV team for the huge success of this Shout Award.

But i believe that it is hard to make everything perfect especially this is the first time Shout Award exists. Ade la jugak a few technical problem here and there but they covered it in a professional way and i totally salute that. But to be honest mane ade award show yang perfect betul tak? For me the opening is a bit kelam kabut and i think they can do much better but i praised them for trying to make a unique performance. The host is Sarah, Jien and my favorite Marion Caunter and they done a great job! Simply relax, stylish and professional without trying to hard to be good which is great!

Based on what i have seen just now, i never knew that Malaysia have many talented people and i enjoyed watching performance by Joe Flizzow and Caprice the most! Their song is so cool! I download it in Ares immediately after i watched it! Once i read in newspaper and one reporter interviewed that Ahmad Izham Omar the kepala of this Shout Award and the reporter asked him why the band that will perform is not familiar and he said this is the way to make Malaysia know that we have so much talented people around and they want this talented people to show their talent and to be recognised by others and it works! Before this i have no idea bout them but now i kindda like their song!

But one thing i dont really agree is if they said that award ni untuk menunjukkan kehebatan the local artist, why the hell invite Sean Kingston to perform as well? If they believe that we are really good, then i think tak perlu lah nak ajak artis luar datang all the way from Miami to perform and to make it worse he lip sing! Aku pon bole kalau mcm tu! At least the local artist nyanyi live and not miming like Sean Kingston. Confirm 8tv bayar thousand of dollars for him but for what? for miming? Whats the point? I dont really enjoy his performance cause i think its pretty average for someone like him who has made it huge in Hollywood. Tadi pon Sean Kingston like so terpinga2 dont know what to do and where to walk and what to say. I dont know whose fault is that maybe its him or maybe 8tv. Mungkin salah dia cuz x dtg rehersal or maybe he didnt know where is the microphone. Maybe salah 8tv jugak cause x explain clearly to him what to. So i dont know who should be blame. Luckily Marion cepat2 covered it up and everything is ok again. Sean Kingston is the presenter for the Flava Award and it goes to Joe Flizzow. Mase Joe bagi speech, muke Sean Kingston mcm something wrong je like he have no idea who the hell is this Joe. Macam la dia bagus sgt, nyanyi pun miming je!

I respect dekat Dynas, Sazzy Falak, Sheila Majid and the rest of the artist yang berpakaian sopan that night. And Dynas won the Stylo Award. She looked as stunning as always in that outfit which for me its beautiful and proper for an award show like this. Ingat sikit ye ni kat Malaysia. Nak global mcm mane pon ade certain things yang kite still kene berpijak di negara sendiri. Sheila Majid also looked so beautiful in that black outfit and also Sazzy Falak. Im tired of seeing Malaysian artist with their tube dress and super short skirt that totally above the knee. Pakai la yang panjang sket and cover la sket their chest kan. But at least Dynas has proved that you dont have to wear skimpy clothes just to be sexay and beautiful. I like that.

For best on screen chemistry award goes to Upin and Ipin. I voted for them and they won! That little girl has the cutest voice ever! I taught they're gonna lose it to Liyana Jasmay and Zahiril Adzim from Kami or to Cheryl Samad and Naz from Ghost but i actually surprised that they won! For me Upin and Ipin is the greatest 3d animation made in Malaysia and im very proud because back then i only watched Usop Sontorian! haha!

Marion Caunter won for Hot Chick award and of course my vote is counted. But i really like her speech when she got the award. She thanked her family, and fans who supported her and also she didnt forget to thanked her make up artist because she said that the make up artist is the one who help her with the make up and stuff and she said that without the make up artist she wont looked as hot as she is. How down to earth is that. At least she knows that without a make up she is nothing. Way to go for her!

Overall for me Shout Award is a success. It is fresh and unique kind of award show compared to other award shows in Malaysia. I really hope that next year there will be Shout Award again and hopefully with way better performances and better outfit. Seriously i enjoyed watching it. If all the performances and the background music is totally by local artist then it is way better. Can you imagine if all the artist wear something more covering and more proper, people can respect us because it shows that no matter how global we are and how we have developed, we still preserve our culture and values. That is something valuable.

Nur Kasih superb!

2009-07-16T15:55:00.006+08:00

Skrg ni ade satu drama yang mmg aku betul2 minat sgt kat Tv3. Drama Nur Kasih lakonan Remy Ishak, Fizz Fairuz, Sharifah Sofea, Umi Nazirah dan ramai lagi. Every friday nite i never forgot to watched it on tv3. I actually missed the first , second and third episode but thank god now zaman dah canggih. Skrg dah ade website tv3 so whenever i missed any episode of tv3 drama, i can still watch it online later and not only tv program from tv 3 but also from ntv7, 8tv and tv9. How cool is that! Drama Nur Kasih ni for me is very good and unique.

Cerita drama ni berunsurkan islamik. Mane nak jumpe lagi kat tv skrg ni yg ade drama berunsurkan agama macam ni? Im bored with all this malay drama yang terlalu nak ikut drama2 luar. No identity at all. I rather watch this drama instead of Blogger Boy cause for me drama Blogger Boy tu is way too pathetic. Drama tu for me x de identity and terlalu Urban for some people. Apa message yang kita bole dapat from Blogger Boy? Hmm let me think, boy and girl duduk serumah is ok. Salah la message yang diorg nak sampaikan ni. Tapi kalau drama Nur Kasih ni mcm2 moral values that we can get even islamic values.

Drama ni menunjukkan the reality and the identity of Malaysia as an Islamic country. At least ade scene yang di masjid, orang mengaji and wanita bertudung. Kalau drama melayu yang lain slalu je la scene dekat club, gig, coffee house mcm dah cool habis la. Kalau org luar tgk pon org tak tau ni drama made in Malaysia. Seriosuly, aku dah bosan dgn drama melayu yang ada kat tv skrg. Makin mencelup, makin menyedihkan and makin merepek. Nasib baik ada lagi drama mcm Nur Kasih ni ditontonkan di tv. Hopefuly after this lebih ramai lagi la drama2 mcm ni yang akan wujud. Sudah2 la buat drama mcm Gol and Gincu, Sindarela, Blogger Boy. For me, drama Sindarela itu biase2 je la tapi seluar yang Sharifah Amani si Zoela tu pakai x bole pendek lagi ke weyh? Bukan ke ade rules do and donts utk tv program? I think ade rules yang mengatakan x bole pakai seksi sgt so actually ape dah jadi ni? Org yang menapis drama2 ni x buat kerja ke? Mcm mane drama2 mcm ni bole terlepas? Tgk movie skrg pon mcm KL drift dgn Rempit, smua girls dalam tu pakai seksi sgt la.

Enough of using the reason tu educate people and to give people a lesson because aku rase sape yang menonton filem panas mcm ni bukan dpt pengajaran. Aku rase lagi rosak ade la. Betul tak? There is a lot of ways to give people a good message and this is not the way. Jangan gunakan itu sebagai alasan because deep down director movie2 panas ni menggunakan tactic kotor to pancing people to watch their movie. Kalau letak girls yang hot2 beraksi hot2 jgk dalam movie, confirm la box office! Lelaki smua suka tgk drama2 mcm ni. So ape yang nak dibanggakan sgt kalau drama diorg dpt box office dgn tactic mcm ni? Jangan jadi mcm Sandra Bullock yang sanggup naked just to make sure that her movie become box office. Pathetic!

Drama Nur Kasih ni aku suke jugak cuz hero and heroin nye bukan la pelakon2 pan asian yang bakat pun ntah kemana. Drama ni menggunakan muka2 yang pure melayu and sgt berbakat. Contohnya Fizz Fairuz. Dia melakonkan watak seorg ustaz and he is very talented. Everytime when i watched him on tv, i feel so calm. That means he nails it! Same goes to Remy Ishak. Dia ni pon mmg aku bole ckp muka hero baru drama melayu la cuz muka dia ni mmg pure melayu and also talented. I juz love to watched him on Nur Kasih. Kalau dulu, org kenal Rosyam Nor i believed that Remy Ishak is the new Rosyam Nor. I know that lepas ni sure nama dia makin naik cuz mmg ramai yang suke dgn lakonan dia ni.

Cinematography drama ni pon superb! aku sangat suke tgk mcm mane diorg shoot movie ni. Sgt cantik dan unique. Drama2 melayu yang lain belom pernah yang ade cinematography secantik drama ni. Cerite ni ade jgk shooting in Mesir and Australia and ade jgk kat kawasan kampung. Tapi mmg layan jgk la tgk sebab mmg cantik. Director drama ni Khabir Bhatia and mmg confirm la bagus cause dia ni mmg power dalam buat movie. His idea is very fresh and original. Thats how i like it. Hopefuly lepas ni byk lagi la drama2 melayu yang berkualiti mcm ni. Not only berquality but also ber identity and original. Sudah2 la dgn nak buat drama yang terlalu global sangat. Not to that extent la kalau nak tunjuk urban pon kan. Sometimes kena ingat jugak kalau dah melayu tu melayu jgk. Whatever it is this is just my opinion.

Shout Awards

2009-07-06T15:12:00.013+08:00

Hey people! Ok, i guess almost everyone knows that Shout Award is just around the corner. Ok, sure u guys pon tau Shout Awards ni special sket cause its more like an MTV movie awards because theres a category for hot chick award and hot guy award. Also stylo award. This award show is a fresh idea from 8TV to make something that is different compare to other award show before. I mean, sebelum ni there's no such award. That night, i heard that Sean Kingston will perform on the stage! Wow, seriously i cant wait to watch! Hopefuly he's going to sing his latest song Fire Burning. I love that song so much!!

Ok, speaking of award show, hmm, there's one thing that im going to observe. Well, since 8tv like i said before are more for the urban's, maybe they want to make the award show looks like a global class show like any of Hollywood show. Hopefuly, x de la peformance yg terlalu celup2 idea western kan. Aku mmg x suke org yg terlalu nak celup2 western ni! haha. And one more thing, i really cant wait to see what the celebs gonna wear that night! Ye lah kan since there's an award for being stylo, i guess sure ade a few celeb yg nak pakai outfit as skimpy as they can to look stylo. Way too pathetic ok!

Im sure that night a few of big name like Sazzy Falak, Fazura, Maya Karin, Fasha Sandha, Liyana Jasmay and others will come cause they are nominated. I really hope that they will wear something that is more suitable. Lately, artis malaysia ni dah semakin berani and semakin nak perasan jadi mat salleh. Adui, nyampah ok! Rambut slau nak color2. Sometimes yang nak buat aku tergelak tu kulit gelap but nak color rambut warna blonde. Ape tu weyh?!! Malu la sikit. Nowadays, selalu sangat nampak artis melayu pakai tube dress and starting to exposed their clevage! Omg. zaman dulu2 x de pon macam tu ok. There's one time aku just tgk2 balik magazine zaman aku sekolah dulu tahun 2001, 2002, smua pakai yang sopan. Or at least baju ber sleeve and no clevage sana sini. But now, tengok je la award show yang pernah ade before this. Geleng kepala je aku. Kalau dulu org pakai sexy kene tegur, but now, showing clevage and wearing tube dress is normal. Diorg ni x malu ke pakai mcm tu? Aku pon pelik. Kadang tu bile pakai baju yang x de sleeve and bile dia angkat tangan, hmmm, ketiaknye x bole hitam lagi ke weyh? Lutut diorg pon berkarat and berdaki pon nak pakai short skirt. Pakai la elok2 sikit. Tak yah la nak ikut style western sgt.

Please dont take this for granted. Some people might think that it is a small issue. Tapi, kalau dibiarkan, can u just imagine what our award show will look like in next 20 years? Silap2 nnt ade anak sape2 yang nyanyi kat atas stage just wearing bra just like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. Seriously i dont want that! I dont want my future kids to live in that kind of environment. Hopefuly 8tv ade la bagi dress code for them yang akan attend the award show. Bukannye ape, diorg ni public figure, berpengaruh, they have the power to shape the culture. Pikir la juga what will happen dalam jangka masa panjang kan. Jangan amik mudah je benda2 macam ni.

Jangan lupe yang even when Malaysia ni terkenal dengan banayak agama dan bangsa, but still Malaysia is well know as an Islamic country. So, tunjuk kan lah the identity. Orang luar pun bole respect kita kalau kita sama2 membangun setaraf dengan negara maju yang lain without losing our identity. Ok then. Hopefuly Shout Award will be DA BOMB!! Cant wait :)

King of Pop

2009-07-01T15:06:00.017+08:00

Im still in shocked about the death of Michael Jackson. Last Friday morning went i woke up, i log in to my facebook and i cant believe what i saw posted by my friend that Michael is gone. Terdiam aku sekejap and i was staring at the screen hoping that i was imagining things but then i googled it and it is true that he is gone. What can i say, everyone love him and it is all too sudden. Especially when theres a comeback concert for him. Susah aku nak describe about Michael Jackson. One thing for sure, he is one in a million. Its hard to find someone like him as an entertainer and he has contributed a lot to this world with his good deeds and his songs. But its normal that people can be jealous with all the attention that people give to him. I never believe about all the stupid rumors about him that said he molested children. Never! I know that he will never do that. He love kids. He believe that when he see childrens, he see gods face. Ok enough of that.

Aku ni mmg emotional sket even when im not related at all with Michael Jackson. But i love his style, his song. My favorite is Beat It and Billie Jean. Both of that songs is classic to me and i never remove that song from my itunes player. Suke jgk tgk music video for that songs too. Infact, im listening to beat it right now. Its been 5 days i think since the news about Michael spread all over the world and still it is in newspaper. Itu menunjukkan yang Michael Jackson is somebody. I wonder how the world reacted when Elvis died years ago cause he is also a legend. But i believe that even when Michael Jackson is gone, his music will still remain with us. I mean its Michael Jackson for crying out loud.

I wonder what Eminem think of this news about Michael. Eminem ni kan suke mengutuk Michael mcm la dia bagus sgt. Have you watch his music video Just Lose It? sakit hati aku tgk. Ape masalah dia nak buat mcm tu kat Michael. Sure dia nyampah tgk all the attention given to Michael lepas dia mati. Rasenye bile Eminem mati ade ke kecoh mcm Michael Jackson mati? Haha, i dont think so!

Theres a rumor that said Michael has convert to Islam according to his brother Jermaine. Well, i hope it is true. At least dia mati dalam islam. What a perfect way to leave this world by converting to the true religion overall. Theres a witness that said Michael dah pun mengucap utk masuk Islam. Hopefuly betul la. Now aku tgh tunggu mcm mane cara pengebumian dia nanti. Is it mengikut cara Islam or cara Christian. Of course la parents dia nak masuk campur kan and problemnye there's no black and white evidence that said Michael dah tukar agama. So, we will just have to wait and see.

Susah nak jumpe org mcm Michael lg. He is very energetic, down to earth and very talented. From generation to generation, smua org pernah dgr lagu Michael. Even my mom. He truly has give a huge impact to this world with his pop music. People never call him Jacko for nothing! Everytime when i heard You Are Not Alone, i almost cry. I love that song and also Heal The World. He is truly something. Im gonna miss him. Im gonna miss his style, his voice, his performance, everything! But i think he is happy now from where he is because he finally knows that lots of people love and care about him. Including me. Rest In Peace Michael. You Are Not Alone.

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

Titanic

2009-06-14T01:14:00.008+08:00

I was just checking out movie trailers on youtube then suddenly rase mcm nak tgk trailer ceite Titanic plak. Even that movie is years ago. I think it was 1997 when the movie was premiered. So i was 10 that time and doesnt give a damn about that movie sgt. Masuk secondary school baru la nak melayan ceite tu. Agak la ketinggalan. I know... The first time i watched that movie, gile nangis la. Such a sad story and lagi teruk because its a true story. I imagined kan ape la org yg dlm kapal tu rase during that time. I dont know what will happen to me if i was there and see with my own eyes that the person i love mati depan mata. X kisah la boyfriend ke, family ke or friends but its awful.

There was one time aku bace kat magazine ape ntah, all the stories about the survivors from Titanic. Ade yg ceite dia nampak ayah dia tenggelam depan mata. And ade yang ckp during that time, mmg diorg lebih pentingkan org yg kaya2. Yg golongan sederhana smua kena tunggu turn utk naik kapal lain. Its not fair kan. In fact, dulu ade la a few black people pon nak join the cruise but they are not allowed to because of color differences. Teruk kan? And when the Titanic news appeared on the frontpage after that night of the incident, all those black people just smile...Discrimination....Ok,When i read that article, mmg aku rase sedih sgt. I cant imagine the real situation. Mmg kita bole imagine based on what people told us and from what we read but those who actually were there is the one yg truly know what happen that night when the Titanic sank.

Then i found this video on Youtube which i think is interesting cause i've never seen this pictures before so im kindda addicted to it. I watched it again and again and i couldnt control my self. I was crying and my legs was shaking. Awal2 video pon aku dah nangis kot! gile sensitive la Wanie! I just taught its interesting to share it here in my blog. Ok, before that, prepare tissue with you now!

Awful right? While i was doing this, i was listening to My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion just to get in the mood. Yeah... poyo kan? But still, i feel like i was there when it happened. And here's another video i found on Youtube about how the Titanic sank that night.

I dont know why lately im sooo into history. I used to hate history especially back in high school. But now i think its interesting to know what had happened before like years ago. To study about ancient history is cool i think. Maybe just nak belajar sendiri from internet bole la, but to actually amik course in History for Degree, haha kirim salam la. All i can say is that Titanic is one of the most interesting history to know about. Even my lil brother pun sumtimes kindda drown with it too when he watched Titanic with me. When he was little, he kept asking me 'Betul ke cerite betul tu kak wanie?' and i said of course its true. And that night he kept asking my mom and me about Titanic. He was 5 years old that time. Haha, i think its cute. I just hope that when i have a chance to be in that kindda ship, hopefuly nothing will happen to me or any person that i love. Ok then. L8er!

17 Again

2009-06-13T11:16:00.014+08:00

Yesterday, i went to watch '17 Again' at Mid Valley with my lil brother. Omg, that movie is hilarious! Me and Salman gelak mcm cinema tu kitorg punye. haha! Zac Efron is hot weyh! He is all grown up. I still remember about 5 years ago, aku ade tgk ceite 'Summerland'. Zac Efron berlakon dgn Jesse McCartney. Zac mase tu kecik sgt! Look at him now! Chandler from friends pon was in that movie jgk and he looks older now. But still i love them both. Rase mcm nak tgk lg and one thing for sure, confirm aku nak beli dvd nnt. Pirate sudah...Hehe.

Aku sgt suke hang out dgn Salman. After habis tgk movie, perut pon dah lapar then we dedided to go Burger King. Wooo suddenly teringat French Chicken. Yummy! Its been ages since the last time i mkn Burger King. Hmm, screw u diet! I dont care! I deserved to have my french chicken after almost 2 weeks x mkn nasi. Aaahh, rindu nasi....nasi ayam, nasi tomato, nasi paprik, nasi goreng pataya, nasi lemak......ok enough said! Salman as usual order cheese burger. Susah betul dia nak try mknan baru. But i think its good cuz biasenye org mcm ni jenis yg suke in comfort zone and not really comfortable to try new things. So.... i guess later when dia dah ade girlfriend, at least he will be loyal and not a player kan?? haha, ape merepek nie? from burger to player plak? When i went out with him, x sah la kalau x amik gambar kan.... haha

Ok, dia mmg x suke amik gambar cuz he dont know how to smile. If i force him to smile, it will end up nampak too obvious its a fake smile. Byk kali ajar dah but x reti jgk nak senyum budak nie. Hmm x pe lah. Its a matter of time kot....Haha.

Yeah, Kak Wanie cyg Man! tgk la burger tu... Black pepper sauce smpi melimpah.. Sooo gonna get messy. Cheh, mcm tagline from Carls Junior plak. Carls Junior mahal la ooi. Ooh, and yeah budak ni mmg suke pakai inai kat kuku. (sigh) That burger look sooooo yummy!

After habis lunch, me and Salman went to the game arcade. His favorite place. Aku jgk kot. Habis la jugak dlm 10 ringgit but its worth it. Dia suke main game yg tembak2 tu. I forgot the name of the game la, but one thing i can say about him is that he is a sharp shooter! Dia lagi terror main dari aku. Aku tembak g mane ntah peluru tu... haha. Later we went to Jusco. I said to him 'Alah, Kak Wani nak tgk je, bukan nak beli ape2 pon'. Yeah rite! End up borong kasut smpi 2! Haha, cant help it. The shoes is too cute to ignore!

Haaa, cute kan! especially the white one. I like the silver cuz i love strappy sandals. So sexay! Not Slutty! Salman as usual buat muke and he said to me 'Ish, smua lah nak beli!' Yeah, boys will never understand why girls need shoes as many as they can. Haha! especially tgh murah. Bargain!

Then, we went to MPH then Salman is so happy cuz he got his 3d puzzle as usual. Kat rumah pon dah penuh dgn all his collection of 3d puzzle but aku malas la nak bising kan cuz kasut aku pon dah byk jgk! hehe. Then my driver x bole amik kitorg from Mid Valley so we tooked a cab and went home. So happy. I wish i can spend more time with him. Ye la, mase weekdays aku ade kat Uia memanjang but at least x la jauh sgt from my house so aku bole balik every weekend. Our next mission - to watch Transformers end of this month and also Ice Aged on July. Hmm, rasenye2 ade lagi x kasut yg comel2? Hopefully!

Terlebih Urban

2009-06-12T23:00:00.014+08:00

For the last 2 weeks, every Thursday at 9.30 pm, mmg confirm aku akan duduk depan 8tv juz to watch Blogger Boy. Ok, its a new tv series actually. It looks kindda interesting to me and agak berlainan la compare to other local tv series that i watched before. So, dengan sgt excited la aku tunggu depan tv mase the first episode. Cerite tu 30 mins je. Mase first episode, aku dah mcm x berape senang la dgn cerite tu.

You know why? Ok, im totally aware that 8tv punye fomat is totally different compare to RTM and their target audience is for the 'Urbans'. Sometimes aku rase idea diorg ni terlebih la. Ok main character is Budi, lelaki bujang yg tinggal satu rumah dgn member dia known as Kid. Both of them tgh nak cari org utk sewakan bilik, and at last Budi bagi his long lost friend yg sewa bilik tu. The thing is, kawan dia tu is a girl known as Nina. Budi used to have crush on Nina back in their high school then biase la lost contact then they meet again after so many years lost contact. And Budi senang2 je bagi Nina sewa that room and to make it worse, Budi still have feelings for Nina. Member dia Kid pon kindda like Nina as well. And the problem is they are all living in the same house!

I taught i was watching One Tree Hill or Friends. Ok, wait a minute, la....ceite melayu ke? Geleng kepala je aku. Ok, its not like aku ni ustazah nak bg preech sane preech sini but i think what they did is so wrong. Its like they are promoting the ideology of men and women living together is acceptable even when there is more then 2 people. But still, i think its not right. Back then, i dont think Malaysia pernah buat cerite yg promote idea mcm ni. If i ask 8tv why they allow this to be on their channel, obviously their excuse will be 'Its just a story, x yah la ikut kalau x suke'. Memanglah, manusia ade akal boleh fikir mane baik mane x. but media is really important in shaping the culture. Sometimes people are not aware and conscious about this. Especially young teenager yg still too naive and fragile. They might think that living together boys and girls will be ok mcm cerite Friends. Instead of juz buat cerite yg lawak but no moral values then wuts the point?

People always said that 'Alang2 menyeluk pekasam, biar smpi ke pangkal lengan'. Ape salahnye buat cerite yg tunjuk kan betul2 ape yg org melayu terapkan dalam budaya? Have you ever seen 8tv buat cerite yg betul2 ade scene berunsurkan melayu or islamic? Let me recall back drama2 melayu from 8tv. Alam, Ghost, Kami, and dont get me start with Gol and Gincu. All this story mcm nak celup ceite from Hollywood je. 8tv skrg dah ade prom nite programme. Hmm, ape lagi nak ckp kan? From what i know 8tv is handle by a muslim guy. Ahmad Izham Omar. Sometimes when i watched 8tv i feel like im watching Hollywood channel. You guys should try and watch it. Then u'll know.

Idea of this story is from Rafidah Abdullah. She's a host of 3r programme before. Cerite Gol and Gincu pun idea asal dia jugak. Dia ni study kat oversea course about scripwriting or broadcasting. Im not sure la. But so far, aku tgk cerite dia nie smua berunsurkan Hollywood. All the women smua nak pkai sexy memanjang. Enough la. Tunjuk la something yang ade nampak mcm drama melayu. I didnt expect it to be drama melayu yg sedih nangis2, cuz byk dah cerite melayu yg mcm tu. I know that their intention is to do something new and fresh and yeah...urban. But there is a way to make that and not by celup2 idea fom Hollywood. Susah nak tgk scene drama kat 8tv yg the character tu pakai tudung or pakai telekung tgh sembahyang or character tu tgh mengaji or... alah u know what i mean kan... ni asyik scene kat club, gig, breakdance, and mcm2 lg lah...

Ok, ok... this is just my opinion. Korang tgk and nilai la sendiri. But seriously, if i have a chance to make a drama for tv, aku akan buat something yg way better. Ok la bukan nak perasan. Maksud aku, aku akan buat drama yg ade tunjuk kan ciri2 melayu tu. To me thats important. If only...(sigh). Ok, i think its long enough so im gonna stop now.

P/s : I still watch Blogger Boy cause the story is interesting and my Nas T is Kid actually. Its the scenes that bothers me. I still support local drama. Malaysia Boleh. Boleh ape? U judge!