Shopaholic i guess? Hmm, not good...

Well, i got one thing to confess.

Im a shopaholic!!! Crap!

Hate to admit it but thats the truth. Ive realized that before but it just that it is hard for me to actually admit it. I just cant control myself when it comes to cute tops, jeans, handbags, accessories, shoes.... Basically any pretty things that can make me look prettier i guess. Haha, who doesnt wanna look pretty right? Back when i was in high school, i couldnt care less about what i wear and stuff. I just wear anythin that i have without considering the colors, the trend and all that.

I think it all started when i enter matriculation center when i was 18 back in 2005. Well that was the first time i live on my own. I mean partially. I have my own money for crying out loud! Its not like my parents never give money to me but they usually give it just enough for me to use it in school so i never have the chance to pick my own clothes back when i was teenager. My mum usually is the one who pick it for me and i never complain anything about it.

When i was 18, i started to hang out with my friends at the mall and for the first time, i can choose what ever i wanna wear. And that feeling is goooood. I started to know what i like, what kind of fashion that i prefer and stuff. I began to read fashion magazines and looked up to celebrity especially from Hollywood to know what is the in thing right now.

To be honest, even when i was 16, i have no idea what the hell is flip flop! I taught its some kind of like a candy or something. Haha, call me pathetic!

This is Flip Flop Wanie!! :)

Currently, im addicted to skinny jeans! Cant get enough of it. But one thing for sure, im not the crazee bitch who are so obsessed with branded stuff. I dont mind to mix and match. From Jusco to Zara, i dont mind. Seriously. If u realize, most of people have more clothes compared to jeans and pants. And why is that? I really dont know. Usually, if someone have 20 clothes to wear for leisure and stuff, they only have about 3 or 4 jeans only! They might have this kind of thinking that people dont really noticed what you wear except for your tops. I think they're wrong! I think people do notice if u keep wearing the same jeans again and again! At least i know that i noticed and it really bugs me!

I think if you have 20 clothes, then you gotta have about 10 jeans to match with it. Hahaha, hows that? Call me crazee but thats what i think when it comes to fashion. I cant stand to use the same jeans again and again. I can easily get bored! Currently, i think i have about 15 jeans in my closet and i still want more! From black, blue, grey, you name it. I have it! Skinny and straight cut. I love all of my jeans! See, how shopaholic i can be? Told ya!

P/s : Not good Wanie, not good.... But the satisfaction of having it is beyond everything!

Perempuan

To all women out there, this is for you. Never be too hard on yourself :)

Jangan menghukum orang hanya untuk merasakan diri itu hebat. Mereka ada cerita tersendiri. Biarlah Yang Maha Pencipta yang menghakimi dan menghukum.

Jangan dipanggil perempuan itu perempuan murahan,

Jika kaum lelaki belum tentu boleh membimbing,

Katanya kaum perempuan kaum yang lemah,

Katanya kaum lelaki ketua dan gagah

Jadi mengapa kaum lelaki jatuh jua?

Dimanakah sifatnya lelaki yang dikatakan seorang pembimbing,

Bagaimana mahu menjadi pembimbing jika lelaki juga yang perosak?

Kaum wanita menjadi mangsa,

Mengadaikan segalanya untuk terus disayangi,

Tapi sayang, lelaki tidak pernah mengenal erti puas,

Mementingkan diri sendiri untuk kepuasan yang melampau,

Ditinggalkan selepas habis manisnya,

Diri belum tentu baik, tetapi mahu memperisterikan yang mulia?

Sungguh kejam, sungguh tidak adil,

Menjadi insan yang lemah dan tak berdaya,

Ditindas dengan kaum lelaki yang dikatakan pembimbing,

Sudahnya, lelaki terus menghukum

Dan perempuan terus menyalahkan diri sendiri

Dan sesalan adalah selamanya

Kenangan indah kekal selamanya,

Walaupun dirinya sudah dikotori,

Mungking esok masih ada cahaya indah matahari.

Sayangilah aku kerana aku seorang perempuan. Bukan kerana aku pemuas nafsu jantan.

Graduation - Vitamin C

Yezza... Sooo busy sampai x de masa nak blogging. Letih weyh but i enjoyed it. Tak mau complain banyak2. So for the past few weeks, ive been busy with assignments, quizzes and mid term since its the middle of the semester so basically this is what every students gotta face. Busy busy busy sampai jadi skema jap. Hahaha. Tambah pulak skrg tgh bulan puasa, oohhh memang letih gila. Tapi happy jugak cuz business cornflakes aku mmg menguntungkan. I dont mind spending hours in the kitchen mase weekend buat cornflakes cuz its worth it. Senang2 je dapat untung. Cheh, planning nak simpan duit ni so that i can go to L.A and N.Y. Hahaha, insyallah. Sapa yang gelak kan aku tu, siap lah! Kalau aku dapat sampai sana jugak, ha wutcha gonna say? Malu x? Hehe.

Anyway, this is my final semester in UIA insyallah. Sedih cuz dah nak tinggalkan kawan2 UIA. Omg, 4 tahun rase kejap sgt plak. Masa last day of school in Assunta, aku mmg x bole nak dengar lagu Graduation by Vitamin C cuz lagu tu sedih sgt. Sumpah akan nangis bila dgr. Tapi skrg dah ada kekuatan nak dgr. Hahaha, but seriously lagu ni mmg berhantu la. Rasa meremang bila dengar. Lirik dia sedih la. :(

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and youAnd then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
And we would get so excitedand we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We rememberAll the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels


La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

I just hope that i can still stay in touch with them no matter how far we go and how high we fly :(

Positive energy!

Last week, i dont know why. The moment i was driving my car back home last Thursday, i cried my eyes out thinking about my life. On that time, aku terfikir balik what kind of life im having right now. I've started comparing my life with others and i cried a river! Damn im so jealous with all the people who gets to live the way i want to live. On that night, i couldnt sleep. I cried again. Then suddenly, i dont know how it happened. I recall back what happened to me when i was 17.

Its not like i have a very rough terrible teenage years, but i have problem living on that time. Ade je yang x kena time tu. Hormones problem i guess. Well, aku teringat balik mase form 5 tu, i have trouble sleeping at night. Crying for no reason. Screaming like no one is hearing. But of course i screamed to my pillow so that nobody will wake up in the middle of the night. When im tired of crying, then only i can sleep. Its like something that i have to do at least once a week.

And now im almost 23 and im still crying at night for no reason. Its been almost 6 years. My life is still the same. Still a very unhappy girl. Then i said to myself, if i continue acting like this, by the time i turn 30, i will regret to the max thinking about the fact that ive wasted my life crying for not having the life that i wanted. So i guess, instead of waiting, i gotta start living. I mean, i gotta start loving the life that i have right now and stop comparing my life with others. I should just be happy for what i have got and not asking more than i should get.

The next morning, suddenly im cured!

Happy with what ive got or at least im trying to be happy. I gotta stop complaining cause it doesnt give me any good except it can harm me of course. So last weekend, i had a good time spending with my family and just be happy with my life. I even updated my facebook status saying that im wearing a new attitude. And i am! Its been 3 days now and i know that deep down i love this new attitude. I can actually overcome my insecurity, my jealousy and all the bad things that i possessed. Hopefuly this attitude will last long.

Before this, it really pissed me off when i saw how happy people are or how they pretended to be happy. Some of them looks like they never have any problem at all. Always posting a happy status, happy comments and pictures and i started to wonder whether it is true or they are just trying to portray to the world how happy they are even when they are not. It really bugs me. But then again, if we're not happy about something deosnt mean we have to show it to the world right? doesnt mean that we have to be angry at the world. Instead of blaming others, i prefer to blame myself and just move on.

Theres a saying that say you cant change your beginning but u can always make a good ending. I couldnt agree more. What done is done. Tomorrow is a gift that is waiting to be unwrap. All i want right now is just to be the best person i can be and just enjoy the journey and being happy. I know that obstacle will come eventually and i gotta face it no matter what. Maybe when u try to portray that you are happy even when you are not, i guess you will be happy eventually. Its not that bad right? Look at me now? Im not that happy but i will always try to remain positive and hope for the best. When you have a strong faith, i guess that will bring you happiness. At least a little.

Juz sing like no one is listening.

Juz laugh your ass off like no one is judging.

Sleep at night with a smile on your face.

Wake up in the morning with a positive energy to start the day.

Insyallah everything will be fine. Faith is like my bestfriend now. It keeps me grounded and i like it that way.

p/s : I know that one day it will be my turn to shine :)

*^&%^$$@!!! Emo mode...

Nothing much, nothing interesting happened for the last few days. Im lost lately. Have u ever feel like u are so sad and moody and when people asked you whats wrong, u dont know what to tell them cause u dont even know the main reason why u're so sad. Thats what happening to me lately. Sometimes im ok, and sometimes im seriously not in a mood. I just dont know whats wrong with me and why im so sad. Im mad at the same time.

This semester is my final semester insyallah and i dont want anything more but i just want this sem to be fun and cool. But its not! The subjects are boring, the lecturers bla bla bla, and my group mates sux and my classmates are boring. I dont want to be too negative. Ive tried to tell myself that i should enjoy it to the max no matter what but i failed. Every morning, its so damn hard for me to wake up. As if like i have no good reason to wake up. The moment when i lay on my bed and about to sleep at night, im so happy cause i can relax my mind. I dont know why but lately i slept a lot. Ive gained 3 kg in 2 months! Grrrr. Ive tried to be the girl who is never obsessed about her weight but i cant. My current weight now is 48. So much for my new year resolution to get 43 kg by the end of this year. But its okey, Ramadhan is coming and usually my weight will drop 3 kg after the Ramadhan. Of course i have to skip the sahur. Hehehe.

So many things going on in my mind right now. Sometimes the only way for me to still be alive is that i laugh at the silliest thing. When i feel like im about to break down, i will try to recall back anything that will make me laugh and i end up laughing alone. Hey, at least it can cure me for few hours, or minutes. Maybe the reason that i cant enjoy my final semester is that i have to face the fact that by the end of this year, my life will change. I dont even know whether to continue my study or work. And even if i want to continue my master, where will it be? Do i have the guts to study in oversea for a year? Should i continue my study in uia since ive known all the lecturer or should i work cause i have no experience at all. Damn, how i wish somebody or something will enlighten me so that at least i know what to do or which path to choose. I cant believe its my final semester now. Im gonna miss uia. Okey, one more reason to be emotional! Damn.

P/s : I gotta find a great quote to cheer me up. A.S.A.P!!!

Brooklyn bridge.

Before i turn 30, i wanna drive a convertible car all through Brooklyn bridge in New York City at night while listening to 'Dancing in the dark' by Bruce Springsteen. That will be my dream. Something that i really wanted to do before i reach my 30's. But i know that it wont be easy. I need like lots and lots of cash before it actually happen. The bridge is so beautiful especially at night. Juz look at the picture. How can u not like it?

Agak poyo la kan smpi kereta yang aku nak drive pun yang convertible. Haha. Of course la. Gila style bawak kereta mcm ni at night with all the city lights and stuff. If i made it to New York, i'll try me very best to find this kind of car and sewa just for few hours or maybe one whole day just to make it happen. Gila style kan. Kalau J.lo dalam video clip 'Love dont cost a thing' rambut dia terbang2 drive kereta ni, kalau aku yang drive, tudung aku la yang terbang2. Gile cool. Rasenye i'll be the first woman yang pakai tudung naik convertible car kat Brooklyn bridge! Hooo yeah!

Maybe some people mostly dont know who is Bruce Springsteen but he's one of the pop singer back during the 80's. I have no idea why i just love this song. Check it out!

I love it ever since the first time i heard it. Such a fun song and the beats totally resemblance and will remind you of the 80's. The sound of it is soooo 80's pop music which i love it. Everytime when i drive my car alone at night, i always listen to it and i still remember how happy i am when i listened to it at night. Sometimes, there are things that u juz cant explain. Especially when it comes about feeling. But thats exactly how i felt. Owh, and the girl dancing on the stage before the song end is Courteney Cox. Isn't she cute? She's so young here and the way she danced with Bruce, oh my god! They look so damn happy. As if like there's no problem at all and all they do is singing and dancing all through the night without worrying about anything. Hehe, what do i know? hahaha...

I know that it wont be easy to achieve it. It takes time, money and courage to make it happen. Even if it happen when im 35, im still happy. But im not saying that i wont be happy if my dreams wont come true. At least i know that i have dreams and i've work my ass off trying to achieve it. Kalau ada rezeki, insyallah sampai jugak aku kat sana with my convertible car, and Bruce Springsteen song. :)

p/s : Is it to early to think what to wear on that day and what color of my tudung that i will choose? hehehe :)

German gempaq dowh!

Yeah, as stated up there, German mmg giler gempak la this time punya world cup. Mmg unexpected! Agak bengang la cuz diorg kalahkan England 4-1. Unbelievable! Aku tgk match yang England lawan German tu mase kat rumah. Actually tgk yg delay punya. So i forced myself not to look at my handphone cuz i might know the result before the match. Giler spoil la kan kalau dah tau sape menang awal2.

Mase dah masuk gol ke-2 from German, mmg aku dah x de mood nak tgk dah. Then my brother in law ckp, ala relax la, banyak masa lagi. Then bila England buat gol jgk, ok, baru semangat balik! haha. But too bad, x sempat nak kasi seri, German buat lagi 2 gol! Giler tension! Arrgghhh.Mmg rase nak mengamuk k. Serious! X pe, England tetap di hati! hahahah :)

After the game, aku dah agak dah sure like banyak giler sms in my hp nak ngutuk england and im damn right! Sakit hati bace ok. Then i forced myself to sleep tapi terlalu bengang smpi x bole tido. So i woke up and watch movie 'Shes out of my league'. Hmm, not bad. End up, i slept around 4 am. I swear to god, mmg confirm dalam facebook sure byk giler notifications mengejek aku. damn! x sanggup nak buka.

The next morning, bgn je tido terus buka facebook. Wut to do, dah jadi rutin pagi2. haha. Omg! smua org la nak serang facebook aku. Sakit hati weyh baca smua org ckp england dah kalah. Panas je. Smpi Sir Johanni pun boooooo kat Rooney! Damn. Hate to admit but German mmg bagus la. Smpi Argentina pun bole kalah! They are good at passing the ball. At first aku nak support German, then bila baca Lahm ckp England x hormat German terus aku panas. Since when England kluar statement mcm tu. Terus la aku support Argentina. Ahahaha

Too bad, kalah lagi! This time 4-0. Lagi teruk dari England. But at least people wont talk shit bout England lg after this. Yeay! Hehe. That 20 year old Mueller mmg bagus la! Mase lawan England pun dia yang gol kan. Too bad, kena yellow card plak so he wont play against Spain for the Semi final. Heh, ade chance Spain nak menang beb! Great! Villa do your thang! Omg, Fabregas is super cute ok when he hugged Villa. Hmmm, im smiling right now. Cant wait for the semi final.

Hopefuly Spain will win.