Petite vs Voluptuous

Byk sgt aku makan sekarang ni. Especially skrg ni tgh cuti. Whenever i feel bored at home, perut pon automatic jadi bertambah lapar. Asyik nak mengunyah je. Grrr!! Every morning teman my dad g jogging then after jogging g breakfast makan roti telur! I think kalori roti telur and kuah kari pon dah dekat 500 kalori! Damn, then whats the point of jogging kalau dah burn, lepas tu masuk kan balik kalori berganda2! Sigh...

I dont know what i want actually. Sometimes, i said to myself, screw diet. I eat anything i want, whenever i want. Sometimes i feel good but sometimes rase guilty sgt lepas makan tu. Sometimes rase macam nak body like beyonce. Or curvy and voluptuous. But sometimes aku suka badan very petite. Cute jgk kan. So how? Sekejap nak curvy, sekejap nak petite.

Sekerang everytime when i want to eat, mesti nak kira kalori. Bo-ring! Aku tak nak ade rase mcm everytime lepas makan ade rase menyesal. I wanna feel good about myself. I really do. Sekejap diet, sekejap x diet. Sape tak suka makan kan? Kalau fast food tu x byk kalori, mmg everyday la aku sapu. U name it, McDonald, KFC, Burger King, semua aku bole makan. Tapi dalam satu cheeseburger pon kalori dah dekat 500. And thats is not including the french fries! French fries la yang paling aku suka!

Sometimes, org control makan sebab nak sihat. Orang yang gemuk belum tentu tak sihat and orang yang kurus belum tentu lagi dia sihat. Kadang tu, badan kurus kering tapi ade darah tinggi or kencing manis. X elok jugak. So basically, badan kene sihat je lah. Maybe i need to do lots and lots of sit up. Kasi perut flat just like Rihanna. Would love to have that! Haha. Or maybe i should try yoga or pilates. I heard it helps a lot. Kalau ade free time check video kat youtube and buat sendiri dalam bilik. Alone of course. Dancing pon bole byk burn calories. I would love to have someone to teach me dancing. Kalau aku register masauk gym, sure ade dancing class. But confirm campur laki and peempuan. Tu yang x syok. X kan nak bergelek pakai tudung depan lelaki. Seriously weird. Omg, how la?

P/s : I would love to have Beyonce's or Kim Kardashians ass and petite body as Christina Aguilera. Sigh....

Insyallah one day

Lots of things in my mind right now. Turning 23 this year really scares me. This is my final year in UIA and insyallah i'll wrap up everything by November. Then whats next? Macam mane life aku bile dah habis blajar nanti? Im so not ready for that yet. Even, i'll be 23 this year, otak still mcm budak2 lagi. Still not independent enough. To be honest, so far mmg aku x pernah ade working experience. Not at all. Kalau org lain ade working experience at least mase tgh tunggu exam result or during the holiday. But i have none! Zero! Na da!

Agak kecut jgk perut ni bila nak start kerja nnt. Nak mula practical pon agak cuak. Takut x reti nak buat kerja even dah dpt degree. Omg, maybe im worrying to much. Maybe its nothing. But the fact that im actually working is totally bizarre. Before this i always rely on my parents for money and stuff. But later, im all alone. All by myself. Kene pandai2 saving duit sendiri.

I swear if i get a really cool job, something that i enjoy to do, i'll work my ass off and start saving all the money! Sape x nak kaya kan. Hehe. To actually have my own money pon best jgk kan. Skrg ni, aku ade buat business jual cornflakes cookies. Buat sendiri tau! Hehe. Student kat UIA la yang slalu oder dgn aku. Ade la dpt duit sendiri sikit. Mmg rase best pegang duit sendiri but the bad thing is, bila aku kene pakai duit cornflakes tu utk beli brg aku sendiri pon aku rase mcm susah sgt nak spend the money. Haha. Ye la kan, before this nak beli ape2 smua duit my parents. So x rase mcm ape sgt lah.

When i looked at other rich people, sumpah aku jealous. Aku pon nak senang jgk mcm diorg. So, that actually motivated me to work harder.I know that it wont be easy to be that rich. Kalau sederhana pon alhamdullilah drpd hidup susah kan. Omg, how cool will it be if bile aku dah dpt simpan duit, aku bole pakai duit tu and travel wherever i wanna go! Kalau terlebih kaya, bole smpi pijak kan kaki Ke Los Angeles. Omg, dreams come true lah kan! Hehe. And when i reach there later, i know that the Hollywood Sign and the Walk of Fame will welcome me!! Insyallah one day :)

Physical attraction

How can u explain physical attraction? Is it acceptable if someone who is already married to someone to have a physical attraction towards the opposite sex? Some people said that it is wrong since u already have someone or you're married. But there are some other people said that theres nothing wrong with it. U just have an attraction and its not like you actually cheating.

If u think about it again, macam salah cause you're suppose to have that attraction to the one that you love. But how you explain it when you are attracted to celebrity? Its a bit complicated right. I know. Well, im not saying that im good or anything but i really like to study about guys. About boys! They can be so typical!

I went to mid valley with some of my friends few days back and i noticed something. Laki memang gatal forever. Nothing will change that. Even when they already have a wife and family. They can still be disgusting at times. Sumpah nak gelak pon ade. Mase kitorg tgh jalan, smua lelaki yang aku nampak smua pandang my friends ni. They actually stare at their boobies! Giler. But aku yang pakai tudung ni diorg x pandang lah. X de ape yang nak dipandang pon. Hehe.

Anyway, ade satu laki ni yang paling geli la aku tgk. Dia tgh dukung anak dia and next to him is his wife. Then mata dia bukan main lagi stare at my friends ok. Aduiiii, mmg perangai lelaki semua mcm ni eh? Ade yang pandai cover. Ade yang x pandai cover. So basically semua sama je lah! Kalau setakat nak tengok cause terpegun dengan ciptaan tuhan, x pe lah masih boleh diterima. Tapi kalau sampai buat scandal kat blakang, mmg dah lebih la kan. Lelaki suppose to be a leader! Haha.

Old Skool pop!

I was listening to my itunes then suddenly teringat balik zaman Assunta dulu especially mase form 1 and form 2. In my itunes, i've created so many playlist so that i can choose depends on my mood. There's 80's vintage, 90's old skool, lovey dovey, evergreen, rox my socks, laid back country and so much more. I was listening to 90's old skool playlist and i cant help but smiling alone remembering all those old memories! Hehe.

Yes, i am so into bubblegum pop back then. Even until now! Anyway, check out the video first!





This is A-teens. Love this song so much! Used to sing this with Nadia An back in those days! Sungguh cute. Haha. Zaman mase form 1, i still dont know how to use the internet and how to download songs that i like so everytime bile lagu ni ade kat radio, aku record guna cassette. Giler old skool kan! Haha, in fact i still have the cassette until now. Bile dah record asyik nak dgr je. Bila lagu dah habis nak kene rewind balik. Lama2 smpi tape cassette tu pon dah mcm nak rosak. Zaman tu x tau nak pakai cd lg. Bila rewind bunyi dia klakar ok! ke tet ke tet ke tet ke tet!!!!!! ;p





This is also my favorite song mase form 2. I have no idea why but everytime when i heard this song, aku rase macam semangat nak belajar. What the hell? I told Nadia and dia pon x paham ape kene mengena lagu ni dgn study. I have no idea. Bile dgr lagu ni, i feel like im 14 again. The song is cool but the video is pretty average. Too bad. But still, i love it!





This is one of my favorite girls group after Spice Girls. I like Liz especially. The short hair. I think she's 19 mase ni. Super cute and she really can dance. I always watched this video every Saturday on MTV Pulse. I even try to imitate the dance move when im alone in my room. Pffftt! hehe.

Kalau nak ikutkan berpuluh2 lagi video aku nak letak cuz mmg byk lagu zaman sekolah yang aku still suka. Until now. Even when im 23, i still love bubblegum pop. If i asked other people, smua dah x brape nak suka lagu2 mcm ni. Smua dah tukar taste. Suka lagu yang aku pon x paham la. Music club la, trance la. Susahnya nak jumpe org yang still suka Atomic Kitten kan. I know that we need to grow up, but who said i have to get rid all the things that i like when im a teenager kan? Hehe. Love old skool song. Always was always will! Still have the goosebumbs whenever i heard it. Feels like im in the time machine! If i have to eat vegetables for one week to go back to old times, i will definitely do it even when i hate vegetables. Dying to go back to the 90's!!!

My father

This is my father and he is my hero. I called him ayah. I really love this photo. My father looks really young here and im kindda cute too right? I think this is taken back in 1994 when i was in standard 1. We were in Langkawi for family vacation.

A lot of things happened after that. To me, to my dad and to my family. Ayah aku memang tegas. Dari zaman aku sekolah lagi. Tapi bila mood dia tgh nak gila2 mmg best. Aku paling suka bila ayah layan menari lagu hindustan Govinda. Memang menari betul lah depan aku. Gosh, i really miss that.

God really wanna test our patience. Banyak sgt benda yang aku kene sabar. Bila dia marah aku, aku menangis. Tapi aku tak melawan. I admit, i cursed inside my heart like hell but when i started to calm down, damn i felt really guilty about it. Tapi, sape lah yang tak de masalah dengan parents kan? No matter what they're still our parents. Diorg yang support aku. Family makes me grounded. At first memang aku x suka. Aku berkurung dalam bilik, conteng my diary as an expression of my anger or writing a poem about it. Not that good but it helps a bit.

Sekarang, kalau ayah suruh aku buat benda yang aku x suka. Aku still buat. As a good daughter, we have to obey even when we dont want to. Perasaan marah dan x puas hati tu kene sorok. I prefer to be that way. Aku x nak jadi lagi teruk kalau aku melawan. How fussy he can be, i still can handle it.

Maybe i dont have the guts to say to him that i love him everyday, but Allah knows how much i really love him. With all my heart. I swear, if anyone try to mess with my dad, that person will be in hell for sure. I am very emotional right now.

Wanie sayang ayah forever n ever n ever n ever n ever.

Homophobia

For the last few weeks, i've been reading alot about gay and lesbianism for my english writing paper. Agak interesting kan tajuk essay aku? Hehe. Thats what people said. Ok, i've been reading about it from internet, magazines, watched movies and even keluar masuk library sudah menjadi kebiasaan aku for this semester. Keluar library bawak buku tebal2 for references. Gile skema. But i kindda enjoyed doing it because i love to dig and explore more about this dirty issue. Based on what i got so far, wow its pretty scary! Everyone is gay now. In fact proudly admit it as if theres nothing to be a shame off! Gambar kat atas ni ialah Ellen Degeneres. One of the most popular tv host. And yeah as u can see, she is lesbian and this is one of her wedding photos. Scary.

Banyak jgk la journals, buku yang aku baca to get more idea about this topic cause later, i need to write an academic essay regarding this topic. One of the articles that really got my attention is from Harun Yahya and he explained about the history of Pompeii in Italy. I've heard about it before in newspaper. Pompeii ni bandar kat Italy yang terbenam dan hilang sekelip mata kerana kejahilan rakyatnya. Here are some parts of the article :

Lava gunung Vesuvius menghapuskan keseluruhan kota tersebut dari peta bumi dalam waktu yang sekejap. Banyak sekali pasangan-pasangan yang tubuhnya terawetkan berada pada posisi sedang melakukan persetubuhan dan yang lebih mengejutkan terdapat sejumlah pasangan yang berkelamin sama , dengan kata lain ialah hubungan seks sesama jenis. Hasil penggalian fosil juga menemukan sejumlah mayat yang terawetkan dengan raut muka yang masih utuh. Raut-raut muka mereka menunjukkan ekspresi keterkejutan, seolah bencana yang terjadi datang secara tiba-tiba dalam sekejap. Catatan sejarah menunjukkan bahawa kota tersebut ternyata merupakan pusat kemaksiatan dan kemungkaran. Kota tersebut dipenuhi oleh meningkatnya jumlah lokasi penzinaan atau prostitusi. Organ-organ kemaluan pria dengan ukurannya yang asli digantung di pintu-pintu tempat pelacuran tersebut. Menurut tradisi ini, yang berakar kepada kepercayaan Mithraic, organ-organ seksual dan hubungan seksual sepatutnya tidaklah tabu dan dilakukan di tempat tersumbunyi akan tetapi hendaknya dipertontonkan secara terbuka. Kisah ini mirip dengan kisah kaum Nabi Luth yang dilenyapkan kerana berleluasanya hubungan kaum sejenis. Allah ada mengatakan dalam Al Quran bahawa :

" Tidak ada siksaan atas mereka melainkan satu teriakan saja : maka tiba-tiba mereka semuanya mati " ( 36:29 )

Here are some of the photos from the Pompeii history :

Scary kan? We can actually see their figure and their sex position! Giler lah! Memang patut pon kene bala kalau dah jahil mcm ni! Kenapa lah org2 yang bangga sgt jadi gay and lesbian ni x nak belajar dari sejarah ni? From here pon kite dah tau mmg salah jadi homosexuals. Kalau terlalu ikutkan sgt dengan quote 'Be Yourself', jgn la smpi mcm ni.

For my essay i have to know what the oppositions opinion regarding this issue and mmg bodoh pon kepercayaan diorg ni. Nak tergelak pon ada. Theres a study that supports their belief. A study about twins. They found out that twins who shares same genetic material known as Monozygotic twins have more tendency for both to be gay compared to twins that dont share same genetic material known as Dizygotic twins. But this theory only support 52 percent when they do the survey. Isnt that stupid or what? Kalau dah 52 percent je, that means mmg x bole pakai la diorg punye theory ni. Awat bodo sangat?

It will be against the nature to be homosexuals. It will be a bizzare world if we dont do something. Orang mcm ni x bole nak dimanjakan sangat. Nanti rosak segala umat weyh! Countries like Netherlands and Belgium dah bole accept same sex marriage. Its legal now there to get married with the same sex. Omg!!!

P/s : Yes. I am Homophobia. Extremely!!