Wrapping up 2010

Its almost the end of 2010. 2 days left and say hello to a new year where everything is possible. Well, what can i say about 2010? I still remember my resolution for 2010 is to make this year interesting. Guess what? It is interesting! Lots of things expected and unexpected happened and i learned so much from it. It is a year that i will never ever forget. And when i think about it again, i cant believe that i survived! I guess im getting stronger as i get older.

2011 is the year that i will be working for money and we will see how it goes. Maybe its faith that brought me there and i thank god for it. Well actually, im kindda afraid to make lots of list about resolutions. Maybe i will juz keep it to myself :) This is the year that i got more friends and i love every second that i had with them. All the gossiping, karaoke session was amazing. This is also my final year as a degree student and of course there's so many things happened. I did remember how i cry my eyes out during my last day before the final exam. I guess that is how life goes. Nothing belong to us. Even the time. Its time for me to get out and see the world.

Im happy actually that my dad finally agreed to go on a family vacation and we went to Singapore. I had the best time and it makes me feel like i cant wait any longer to fly and see the world. Insyallah if god's will, i can go to all the beautiful places that i wanted to go so bad :)

Happy new year everyone. Finger cross and make a wish!

P/s: Those who wish to watch me fall, thank u. You have no idea how u have helped me to be stronger. I love you haters! :)

100 questions to kill the time :)

1. Are you an innie or an outie? Depends on my mood but mostly outie
   

2. Have you ever written a song? Yeah but juz a words and thoughts and there's no melody
   

3. Can you make change for a dollar right now? Yeah
   

4. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet? Yep, i think once. I really need to pee and i cant find female toilet so i simply entered male toilet. Luckily, there's no one!
   

5. Have you ever written a poem? Yes, since i was 15 :)
   

6. Do you like ketchup on or beside your fries? Beside of course
   

7. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout? Never

8. Have you ever written a book? Nope. Maybe someday. A book about me maybe? :P
   

9. Have you ever broken a mirror? Cant remember
   

10. Are you superstitious? Sometimes, but not that hard core like some people. But i do believe in the unseen things
    

11. What is your biggest pet peeve? Cats! They are needy and not cute. I used to have one and after he died, no one can replace him :(
    

12. Do you slurp your drink after it's gone? Yeah. Hehehe...
    

13. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk? Ummmm... what for?
    

14. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper? Double Cheese Burger lah!!
    

15. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? No

16. Would you ever parachute out of a plane? Hell no! Too scared to do that!
    

17. What's the most daring thing you've done? Owh, i dont need to mention it here okay.
    

18. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic? hmmm, plastic. Its a habit
    

19. True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza. - Nah, i dont usually eat steak. Gimme Pizza plz!!
    

20. Did you have a baby blanket? Used to. Not anymore. But im not sure if my mom still keep it.
    

21. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair? Yeah. I did that when i was 18 whenever im feeling depressed. Its how i deal with it. Weird huh? But ever since that, i cant remember when was the last time i get a hair cut at a salon cuz i cut it myself. My hair is curly so its easy!
    

22. How did that turn out? Juz nice and saving!
    

23. Have you ever sleepwalked? Nope, i dont think so
    

24. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds? No, but i think that sounds fun! Hehehe
    

25. Can you flip your eye-lids up? Yeah when i was a kid. Im not sure if i can do that now. Maybe i watched too much of horror movie and im scared to do that!!
    

26. Are you double jointed? What???

27. If you could be any age, what age would you be? 15 :)
    

28. Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair? No. Thank you
    

29. Do you ride roller coasters? Love it! Hahahaha :)
    

30. What's your favorite carnival ride? Roller coaster of course!
    

31. What is your dream car? None. I know nothing about car!
    

32. What is your favorite cartoon of all time? Lots. But if i really have to pick, it will b Tom n Jerry. and also Donald Duck. I really love it when Donald's get mad!! Hahahaha...
    

33. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit? Ewwwww, no la!!
    

34. If so, would you eat another one? No thanx
    

35. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first? Try to unbuckle the seat belt and open the damn door and swim to the surface. Oh god, plz dont let it happen to me!!
    

36. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Never

37. Can you pick something up with your toes? Yeah... pen?
    

38. How many remote controls do you have in your house? Omg, what kind of question is this> Of course i dont know.
    

39. Have you ever fallen asleep in school? Its like my part time job la.... hehehe
    

40. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year? last year? Mayb once
    

41. How many foreign countries have you visited? Mekah, Madinah, Turkey, Phuket, Indonesia. I think thats all.
    

42. If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal? I dont think soooooo
    

43. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy? Poor and happy. But not that poor lah. hehe
    

44. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float? Float?

45. Do you ask for directions when you are lost? If i have to...
    

46. Have you ever held a Mexican jumping bean? Whats that???
    

47. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland? Im more like.....me? hehehe
    

48. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points? Wtf? I'd rather have none! hahaha
    

49. Do you prefer light or dark bread? anything goes...
    

50. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs? both!! yummeh!
    

51. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas? Cant recall, but i think no
    

52. Do you talk in your sleep? Maybe. No idea lah
    

53. Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn? Mow the lawn :)
    

54. Have you ever played in the rain? Of course!!! years ago :)
    

55. Did you make mud pies? nah.....

56. Have you ever broken a bone? weyyyyy! Nope. and hopefully never..
    

57. Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten? kitten? nah.... hehehe
    

58. Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? not really... alligator might b small? is it?
    

59. Do you drink pepsi or coke? I dont drink both!
    

60. What's your favorite number? 23 :)
    

61. If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car? sports car?
    

62. Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel? yeah... the card :)
    

63. Have you ever slipped in the bathtub? yeah.. hehehe
    

64. Do you use regular or deodorant soap? regular soap
    

65. Have you ever locked yourself out of the house? yeah.. its sooo funny!
    

66. Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices? Simpsons voice! Cowboy voice can b annoying sumtimes...
    

67. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be? The Olsen!!!
    

68. Do you need corrective lenses? Think so, but im fine...
    

69. Would you hang out with / date someone your best friend didn't like? Yeah, its my choice.
    

70. Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn't like? Maybe..

71. Have you ever returned a gift? No. no reason to do that.
    

72. Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you? No, that will b kindda rude.
    

73. If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be? Gymnastic :)
    

74. If you could participate in an Olympic Event, what would it be? Swimming? Hehehehe
    

75. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Now? about 10..
    

76. If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her? Yeah
    

77. Do you sing in the car? Hell yeah. Thats what i do most of the time. I'll b sooo sleepy if theres no music while im driving!
    

78. What is your favorite breed of dog? Dunno

79. Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter? Yeah why not..
    

80. What is your favorite fruit? Grapes, Strawberry
    

81. What is your least favorite fruit? Cant recall
    

82. What kind of fruit have you never had? Cant recall
    

83. If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick? ZARA!!!

84. What brand sports apparel do you wear the most? Im not into sports lahhhhh
    

85. Are/were you a good student? Were... maybe..
    

86. Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat? None, cuz im super weak! hehe
    

87. If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in? no thanx!
    

88. What do you think is your best feature? My eyes :) My smile :)
    

89. If you were to win a Grammy, what kind of music would it be for? POP :)
    

90. If you were to win an Oscar, what kind of movie would it be for? Romantic comedy. hehehe
    

91. What is your favorite season? Malaysia got no season so i like September cuz its my birthday!! :)
    

92. How many members do you have in your immediate family? immediate family? family is it? errrr.... 5
    

93. Which of the five senses is most important to you? All are important :)
    

94. Would you be a more successful painter or singer? Maybe singer.
    

95. How many years will/did you end up going to college? 5 years maybe
    

96. Have you ever had surgery? Nope

97. Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player? Football player!!!
    

98. What do you like to collect? Songs, dvd's, handbags, accessories :)
    

99. How many collectibles do you have? Cant remember
    

100. What one question would you add to this survey? Who are you? I am ME :)
     

Random Question

Do u still remember the time when Friendster is sooo famous and everyone kept posting about random question and asnwer on their home page? Well, its been ages since the last time i did that. I was looking at someone's blog and i saw there's a lot of random questions so i juz wanna fill the time. Here it goes :

Give me the names of 3 objects or things you love most and why?
My Serena(laptop), My Rebecka (car), My Regina(Handphone)... Cant live without it. And of course my jeans, clothes, shoes and handbags.... So many things that i love in my room lah...

Do you dream?
Yeah, its beyond my control. Sometimes i enjoyed it, sometimes i dont cuz it can be super scary!

Can you remember your last dream?
Ummm... yeah. It is scary. And weird in a way...

What are your goals in life?
To be the best version of myself even with flaws and mistakes.

How would you describe yourself?
Friendly, caring, cheerful, cute? Woooo did i juz mentioned all the good things? Hahaha :P

Tell me about your childhood?
I have some bad and sweet memories but i try not to blame anyone for that. I mean, i cant change it. Whats done is done right?

Give me 3 places you would like to go on a vacation?
A lot! But if i really have to choose 3, then it will be New York, Los Angeles and Paris. Can i add one more? Italy!!

Describe any accident you have seen or heard about?
My ex bf's brother Hadri got an accident last July and he passed away. Its a shame and a tragic lost actually cause he was asleep while driving and he got knocked into a lorry. Rest in peace Hadri.

When was the year you were the most happy and why?
15. First love and lots of great friends. I was a teenager that time. My life is not that great but it has lots of sweet memories. So definitely 2002 :)

When was the year you were not so happy and why?
2005 and 2006. Some shit happened but at least i still got my friends to keep me smiling. It was a terrible year for me and i wont forget it.

What turns you on about the opposite sex?
When they're so caring, sweet and funny

What turns you off about the opposite sex?
Show off, bad temper, sweet talker

What scares you the most and why?
Future. Cause my mind kept thinking that something bad will happen and i dont know if im ready to face it. I can be very negative sometimes...

What do you do in your free time?
Sleep? chilling with internet :)

Do you like chocolate?
Not really. But i do love Ferrero Rocher, Kinder Bueno and Daim!

Do you like rainy days or snowy winter days more?
Winter?? This is Malaysia lah.. Rainy days is okay but i dont like thunder storm!

Which is your favorite part of the human face and why?
The eyes cause it can tell so many things that the heart cant say. It can reach to your soul

What makes you bored?
Wondering what to do and you cant come up with anything!

Do you like spicy food and why?
Depends. But if its too spicy then no.

Which are your 2 favorite careers and why?
Scriptwriter cause i love to write and play with words. Or any jobs that can make u show your creativity. Involves art!

Which is the hardest thing you ever had to do?
Its a secret

Tell me about something you really regret?
When i was younger, i did lots of things without even think about the consequence.

Tell me about a mistake you made?
If its a mistake, then im gonna keep it to myself.

Tell me about someone in your family?
My lil brother is grown up. He dont want me to hold his hand when we went to the mall. Hahaha i think its cute! He's 11 and i still call him baby :)

Tell me about your favorite book, magazine or comic?
My favorite novel is by Kate Brian. She is genius! The story is juicier than Gossip Girl!

Tell me about someone you envy?
There's someone i really envy cause she has a high level of confident and i want that so bad!

Tell me about the last movie you've watched?
Life as we know it starring Josh Duhamel and Katherine Heigl. It was hilarious and of course Josh is soooooo yummy as usual! ;p

Tell me about your favourite music / song / band?
Seriously i cant pick one!

Tell me about something you would happily do again?
My last semester in UIA. They said that save the best for the last.

Name your 5 favorite foods?
Carbonara, Fried Kuey Teow, Roti Telur, Nasi Lemak, Pizza, French Fries, Vanilla Ice Cream and the list goes on........

Do you like to shop?
Hell yeah! Look at my closet!!

How often do you go online?
Most of the time when there's a connection and free time

Are you usually late, early or right on time?
Right on time i think?

Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
Yep yep!

Your best friend dies, what would you do?
No idea!!

What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
Friendship? i dont know lah

Are you old fashioned?
Sometimes...

If you could do anything OR wish for anything that would come true, what would you wish?
I wish that i could turn back the time. Soooo bad....

Whats your middle name?
Gorgeous?? hahahaha kiddin :)

How big is your bed?
Big enough for me to roll over and over!! :)

What music are you listening to right now?
Miley Cyrus! ;p

What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number?
**** :)

What was the last thing you ate?
Red bean bun :)

Who was the last person you hugged?
My lil bro.

How is the weather right now?
Juz nice....

Okay, thats all for now. Im still bored. How la??? Should i sleep now cause i think i had too much already!! :(

Final days

Ok, where do i start? Words cant describe how im feeling right now. I have all this mixed up emotion and i dont know how to describe it. The time has finally come. I've been ignoring it as if it wont happen but it actually is. Its the end of my final semester in UIA. So u tell me how im suppose to feel. Im tired of feeling this way but i know that things will never be the same again. I've tried to be optimistic and keep telling myself that we will still be friends and nothing gonna change. But trust me, it will :(

The last day of my school year in Assunta, im not feeling sad at all. I dont give a damn about who im gonna miss the most. All i know is that im gonna leave and start a new life without turning back. But guess what? Im really fucking miss my school days! I wish that i spend more time with them and not taking things for granted. How i wish we can go back to the old days. So, right now, even when i still have few days left before i actually leave UIA, im really sad cause i know how much im gonna miss it and all the people that i met there. All the laugh and tears that they gave me will always remain in my memories. Time flies really fast and the next thing u know, its over.

I still feel like yesterday when i enter UIA in Gombak with a high determination to be a better person. How naive was i? 4 years has taught me a lot about people and im able to see this life in a different perspective. Im not judging people anymore cause i know there's always a story behind every action. Ive seen a lot of things and it has taught me a lesson that i will always remember for years to come.

During my first year in UIA, i am invisible. I got no friends and i eat alone at the cafe. Not that im complaining but it will be much fun if u have someone who accompany you right? During my first year, all i did is juz go to class, and go back to my room, watch movie alone and sleep like there's no tomorrow. So i guess im quiet independent cause i know how to have fun alone. On that time, all i could think about is i cant wait to get out from UIA and start working.

My life in UIA started to change when i reached 2nd level. I got more friends and i no longer eating alone. I have someone now. I started received an invitation to hang out and stuff and i enjoyed every second of it. The longer im in UIA, the more i love it. I love all the people and all the smile that i got when i bummed to peoples that i know and also the lecturers. I have so many close friends now and the fact that we're going to be separate and have our own life is pretty bizarre.

I wish that no matter how far we go, we will always remain friends and still keep in touch. I dont want it to be over just like that. I know im gonna meet more friends in the future but i still wanna keep my old friends cause they mean so much to me. Some of them, ive juz know them for months only. not even half a year but i feel like i have known them for years! how i wish i know them earlier so that we can spend more time together. I guess it is true when people said that 'save the best for last'. My final days in UIA probably one of the best thing that happened in me. While i still have few days left before they're gone, im gonna spend it wisely cause i know im gonna miss them so much! Tears are not enough.

p/s : will update when i feel like updating...

t.e.a.r.s

Found this quote by Alex Tan :

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again

Right now, if i feel angry or sad, i usually cry and i never hold it. Sometimes i even have to go to the toilet. Yeah, i am a drama queen but that is how i deal with stress and sadness. I feel so much better after i cry my eyes out! Sobbing alone in the toilet may look like im weak eh? I dont care cause it works for me. If i dont cry, i might throwing tantrum and get mad like nuts! So which one is better?

I prefer to shut my mouth and let my eyes deal with it. Alone. Life is a bitch. Cry it out! Life is beautiful. Smile it out. Right now i wanna cry first. Maybe tomorrow i will smile again. Right?

P/s : No worries, the next thing i know, i'll be smiling and laughing like shit again. Hehe...

I've seen it all

I've seen a situation where :

looks is not important to make people fall in love with. Its the attitude and kindness that counts.

people judge others from what they saw but the truth can be ugly.

a friend took an advantage of her bff

bright aura can light up the place even when that person is not that pretty

people are intimidated by others

a boy can be selfish like hell

a girl can be selfish like hell

someone suddenly shut their friend off cuz it reminds of their dirty secrets

someone have a low self esteem and damaging their self

people can keep the darkest secret just to continue breathing and smile

someone value friendship but others dont give a shit about it

a girl can sacrifice all the time just bcuz she love the friendship with that bitch

its a masquerade party all the way

Every day i witnessed lots of things. I've seen it all.

Open Hse & Friendship :)

I really dont know what to say cause there's so may things going on for the past few weeks. Hmm, kerja yang x pernah la nak selesai. Well it is my fault cause suka sangat tangguh kerja. So whose to blame? Me! yeah. Hehehehe. Anyway, i wanna talked about my Raya open house last 2 weeks. Now i have a chance to blog about it cause i've been so busy. So here it goes...

I woke up as early as 7 am that morning just to continue preparing all the foods for the open house. Been working since the day before and still x siap2 lagi. Lots of things to do and kerja aku goreng ayam je. And just kemas2 mana yang patut. I told my friends that it will start at 2pm onwards. So around 1.30pm tu baru lah nak mandi. Mandi pagi tau. Hahaha. X lama lepas tu Syaz called me ckp dah sampai. X sempat aku nak touch up lagi wey! Hehe. But im glad that at least someone came. And not long after that Alif pulak datang dgn Fareeza, Faizal, Amin and Shahira. So, they are among the earliest to arrived. After that makin ramai plak yang datang from Uia and also Assuntarians. Im so happy!

This is Nabila. She is my bestfriends when i was little. I have known her since i was 9 and we're pretty close when we're in high school but high school drama always exists so we had a fight like few days after SPM exam is over and we've lost contact for years. Im really pissed with her during that time but now its been ages and she's married now and has a child so aku dah malas nak gaduh lama2. Its so high school so i decided to invite her. I cant even recall back why im so mad at her before. Funny huh? But im glad that we're good now. As if we never fight before.

And they said that friendship will last long if its a true friendship. Hehe.

Terkejut jgk cuz Rowiena datang dgn Naziera. Omg, its been ages. Last jumpa mase spm and after that, mmg senyap. At first both of them x nak masuk cuz x pakai baju raya, tapi aku tarik jgk. Relax la. X kan juz bcuz x pkai baju raya x nak masuk plak kan. Dan la lama gila x jumpa. hehe. Diorg ni pemalu sket depan camera kot? Really, ini pun dapat snap cuz dah nak balik. Mase ramai2 amik gambar, diorg x nak join. Sebok nak mkn je :P

Like Qila said, Juz like the old times... Hell yeah! Omg, kitorg ni dulu siblings tau. Qila is Along, im Angah and Fiera the middle one is Acik. Pffttt :) We're very close mase darjah 5 cuz kitorg ni librarian kat Assunta Primary dulu. We have sooooooo many sweet memories together and we still can laugh it out loud even until today when we recall back! Fiera mase darjah 5 is the smallest, the shortest but now dia la plak yang paling tinggi. Damn. Now, aku plak la yang pendek. Its okey, short is cute eh? I didnt say that, People did. Hehehe....

May this friendship will last long. Kan kan? hehe :)

Ini, geng shindoi but Nadia An & Syaz are not here. Im very close with them especially mase form 3. When i talked to them, mcm2 bahasa yang minah dua ni gunakan. Macam bahasa Thai pun ade.

Shindoi la wey! Hahahaha

Amalina, Ain, me, Tasya, Zetti and Qila. Glad that the three musketeers datang jugak haritu. Dgn Qila ade la jugak jumpa after high school but Zetti and Tasya memang dah lama x jumpa. Perangai still sama macam dulu. Cracked me up as usual! hehehe. Ama pun sama. Makin sihat kau kan? Hehe, wedding kau invite aku tau :)

Ni geng2 UIA or geng IIUM.FM. Diorg ni pun best jgk! Asyik nak gelak and bergossip je. Umm, im not talking about Munir and Fadly eh. Kononya lelaki kan x bergossip...Kiss my ass la! Haha. Thanx to Amni cuz bawakan diorg ni smua dtg rumah aku.

Ni geng2 Assunta. Ramai betul yg datang haritu smpi x terlayan. From left, Erlin, Aput, Nurul, Shafiza, Acak, me, Fareeza, Zetti, Qila and Tasya. I juz love this picture. Surprisingly, even dah lama x jumpa pun, its not awkward at all talking to them!

Apek Ah chong pun dtg jugak. Mamat cina ni lagi la lama gila x jumpa. Last jumpa mase form 2 okey! almost 10 years. Bapak tinggi gila dia skrg. I used to have a huge crush on him when i was 13. Everyday i called him. Macam stalker x? Haha. rasanya, dia still simpan kot all the love letters yang aku bg kat dia dulu. Haha, wanie....wanie.... :) Thanx for coming Chong, Juz like u said...'Jejak Kasih'. :) u always with that goofy looks and that mischievous grin..... hehe

Anyway, there are lots of photos in my Facebook but malas gila nak letak smua kat sini. I really had a good time with them after ages of not meeting each other. Owh, and i have a new quote that i created myself. Philosopher huh? :P

' Friends are my couture. Hopefully they will last long. Just like Prada! ♥ '

Adorable princess Qila

Kampung tercinta!

Ok so Raya celebration is over. I mean the first week cuz now is the time where everyone are so busy with their open house. Ye lah, kata orang kita puasa sebulan so raya pun sebulan lah. Hahaha. Had so much fun spending time with my family and cousins. Its hard for us to meet up so Hari Raya is the perfect time where we can all get together and of course gossiping! Hahaha.

I have a new addiction. Her name is Aqila. Abg Tahir's daughter. She's only 2 years old and she has to call me mak cik. Ummm no. Aunty would be nice.... Hehe. Omg she is the cutest thing ever! Sangat comel and sangat manja. She's ok with everyone and when she talked, her voice is super soft and super sweet. And the best part is, we share the same thick eyebrow! High five sista! hehehe. Here she is........

Dont u juz wanna bite this tiny thinggy?? Hehehehe :)

Pandai posing kan budak ni? :)

Our thick eyebrow are the limited edition. Precious! Hehehe :)

Suka buat muka comel dia! Geram lah!

I think this is like the thousand times i kissed her! hehehe :)

Smile to the camera Qila :)

P/s : I want one...... Insyallah one day. Amin :)

14 years of friendship :)

Someone that i have known for years tell me something yesterday. He said that i've transformed a lot compared to when i was in high school. At first, i dont agree at all. But to think about it again, i think he's right. But its normal right for someone to change physically or emotionally cause its been ages! Now let me introduce to you my best friends since primary school.

They've always cracked me up with their stupid jokes even until now! Hehe.

This is us in 2002

This is now :)

We've known each other for so long. From 1996 so its been 14 years!

14 years and still counting.
14 years of endless love and support.
14 years of being insanely silly.

I can actually write a biography book about them. Hehehe.

Love em lots!

Shopaholic i guess? Hmm, not good...

Well, i got one thing to confess.

Im a shopaholic!!! Crap!

Hate to admit it but thats the truth. Ive realized that before but it just that it is hard for me to actually admit it. I just cant control myself when it comes to cute tops, jeans, handbags, accessories, shoes.... Basically any pretty things that can make me look prettier i guess. Haha, who doesnt wanna look pretty right? Back when i was in high school, i couldnt care less about what i wear and stuff. I just wear anythin that i have without considering the colors, the trend and all that.

I think it all started when i enter matriculation center when i was 18 back in 2005. Well that was the first time i live on my own. I mean partially. I have my own money for crying out loud! Its not like my parents never give money to me but they usually give it just enough for me to use it in school so i never have the chance to pick my own clothes back when i was teenager. My mum usually is the one who pick it for me and i never complain anything about it.

When i was 18, i started to hang out with my friends at the mall and for the first time, i can choose what ever i wanna wear. And that feeling is goooood. I started to know what i like, what kind of fashion that i prefer and stuff. I began to read fashion magazines and looked up to celebrity especially from Hollywood to know what is the in thing right now.

To be honest, even when i was 16, i have no idea what the hell is flip flop! I taught its some kind of like a candy or something. Haha, call me pathetic!

This is Flip Flop Wanie!! :)

Currently, im addicted to skinny jeans! Cant get enough of it. But one thing for sure, im not the crazee bitch who are so obsessed with branded stuff. I dont mind to mix and match. From Jusco to Zara, i dont mind. Seriously. If u realize, most of people have more clothes compared to jeans and pants. And why is that? I really dont know. Usually, if someone have 20 clothes to wear for leisure and stuff, they only have about 3 or 4 jeans only! They might have this kind of thinking that people dont really noticed what you wear except for your tops. I think they're wrong! I think people do notice if u keep wearing the same jeans again and again! At least i know that i noticed and it really bugs me!

I think if you have 20 clothes, then you gotta have about 10 jeans to match with it. Hahaha, hows that? Call me crazee but thats what i think when it comes to fashion. I cant stand to use the same jeans again and again. I can easily get bored! Currently, i think i have about 15 jeans in my closet and i still want more! From black, blue, grey, you name it. I have it! Skinny and straight cut. I love all of my jeans! See, how shopaholic i can be? Told ya!

P/s : Not good Wanie, not good.... But the satisfaction of having it is beyond everything!

Perempuan

To all women out there, this is for you. Never be too hard on yourself :)

Jangan menghukum orang hanya untuk merasakan diri itu hebat. Mereka ada cerita tersendiri. Biarlah Yang Maha Pencipta yang menghakimi dan menghukum.

Jangan dipanggil perempuan itu perempuan murahan,

Jika kaum lelaki belum tentu boleh membimbing,

Katanya kaum perempuan kaum yang lemah,

Katanya kaum lelaki ketua dan gagah

Jadi mengapa kaum lelaki jatuh jua?

Dimanakah sifatnya lelaki yang dikatakan seorang pembimbing,

Bagaimana mahu menjadi pembimbing jika lelaki juga yang perosak?

Kaum wanita menjadi mangsa,

Mengadaikan segalanya untuk terus disayangi,

Tapi sayang, lelaki tidak pernah mengenal erti puas,

Mementingkan diri sendiri untuk kepuasan yang melampau,

Ditinggalkan selepas habis manisnya,

Diri belum tentu baik, tetapi mahu memperisterikan yang mulia?

Sungguh kejam, sungguh tidak adil,

Menjadi insan yang lemah dan tak berdaya,

Ditindas dengan kaum lelaki yang dikatakan pembimbing,

Sudahnya, lelaki terus menghukum

Dan perempuan terus menyalahkan diri sendiri

Dan sesalan adalah selamanya

Kenangan indah kekal selamanya,

Walaupun dirinya sudah dikotori,

Mungking esok masih ada cahaya indah matahari.

Sayangilah aku kerana aku seorang perempuan. Bukan kerana aku pemuas nafsu jantan.

Graduation - Vitamin C

Yezza... Sooo busy sampai x de masa nak blogging. Letih weyh but i enjoyed it. Tak mau complain banyak2. So for the past few weeks, ive been busy with assignments, quizzes and mid term since its the middle of the semester so basically this is what every students gotta face. Busy busy busy sampai jadi skema jap. Hahaha. Tambah pulak skrg tgh bulan puasa, oohhh memang letih gila. Tapi happy jugak cuz business cornflakes aku mmg menguntungkan. I dont mind spending hours in the kitchen mase weekend buat cornflakes cuz its worth it. Senang2 je dapat untung. Cheh, planning nak simpan duit ni so that i can go to L.A and N.Y. Hahaha, insyallah. Sapa yang gelak kan aku tu, siap lah! Kalau aku dapat sampai sana jugak, ha wutcha gonna say? Malu x? Hehe.

Anyway, this is my final semester in UIA insyallah. Sedih cuz dah nak tinggalkan kawan2 UIA. Omg, 4 tahun rase kejap sgt plak. Masa last day of school in Assunta, aku mmg x bole nak dengar lagu Graduation by Vitamin C cuz lagu tu sedih sgt. Sumpah akan nangis bila dgr. Tapi skrg dah ada kekuatan nak dgr. Hahaha, but seriously lagu ni mmg berhantu la. Rasa meremang bila dengar. Lirik dia sedih la. :(

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and youAnd then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
And we would get so excitedand we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We rememberAll the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels


La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

I just hope that i can still stay in touch with them no matter how far we go and how high we fly :(

Positive energy!

Last week, i dont know why. The moment i was driving my car back home last Thursday, i cried my eyes out thinking about my life. On that time, aku terfikir balik what kind of life im having right now. I've started comparing my life with others and i cried a river! Damn im so jealous with all the people who gets to live the way i want to live. On that night, i couldnt sleep. I cried again. Then suddenly, i dont know how it happened. I recall back what happened to me when i was 17.

Its not like i have a very rough terrible teenage years, but i have problem living on that time. Ade je yang x kena time tu. Hormones problem i guess. Well, aku teringat balik mase form 5 tu, i have trouble sleeping at night. Crying for no reason. Screaming like no one is hearing. But of course i screamed to my pillow so that nobody will wake up in the middle of the night. When im tired of crying, then only i can sleep. Its like something that i have to do at least once a week.

And now im almost 23 and im still crying at night for no reason. Its been almost 6 years. My life is still the same. Still a very unhappy girl. Then i said to myself, if i continue acting like this, by the time i turn 30, i will regret to the max thinking about the fact that ive wasted my life crying for not having the life that i wanted. So i guess, instead of waiting, i gotta start living. I mean, i gotta start loving the life that i have right now and stop comparing my life with others. I should just be happy for what i have got and not asking more than i should get.

The next morning, suddenly im cured!

Happy with what ive got or at least im trying to be happy. I gotta stop complaining cause it doesnt give me any good except it can harm me of course. So last weekend, i had a good time spending with my family and just be happy with my life. I even updated my facebook status saying that im wearing a new attitude. And i am! Its been 3 days now and i know that deep down i love this new attitude. I can actually overcome my insecurity, my jealousy and all the bad things that i possessed. Hopefuly this attitude will last long.

Before this, it really pissed me off when i saw how happy people are or how they pretended to be happy. Some of them looks like they never have any problem at all. Always posting a happy status, happy comments and pictures and i started to wonder whether it is true or they are just trying to portray to the world how happy they are even when they are not. It really bugs me. But then again, if we're not happy about something deosnt mean we have to show it to the world right? doesnt mean that we have to be angry at the world. Instead of blaming others, i prefer to blame myself and just move on.

Theres a saying that say you cant change your beginning but u can always make a good ending. I couldnt agree more. What done is done. Tomorrow is a gift that is waiting to be unwrap. All i want right now is just to be the best person i can be and just enjoy the journey and being happy. I know that obstacle will come eventually and i gotta face it no matter what. Maybe when u try to portray that you are happy even when you are not, i guess you will be happy eventually. Its not that bad right? Look at me now? Im not that happy but i will always try to remain positive and hope for the best. When you have a strong faith, i guess that will bring you happiness. At least a little.

Juz sing like no one is listening.

Juz laugh your ass off like no one is judging.

Sleep at night with a smile on your face.

Wake up in the morning with a positive energy to start the day.

Insyallah everything will be fine. Faith is like my bestfriend now. It keeps me grounded and i like it that way.

p/s : I know that one day it will be my turn to shine :)

*^&%^$$@!!! Emo mode...

Nothing much, nothing interesting happened for the last few days. Im lost lately. Have u ever feel like u are so sad and moody and when people asked you whats wrong, u dont know what to tell them cause u dont even know the main reason why u're so sad. Thats what happening to me lately. Sometimes im ok, and sometimes im seriously not in a mood. I just dont know whats wrong with me and why im so sad. Im mad at the same time.

This semester is my final semester insyallah and i dont want anything more but i just want this sem to be fun and cool. But its not! The subjects are boring, the lecturers bla bla bla, and my group mates sux and my classmates are boring. I dont want to be too negative. Ive tried to tell myself that i should enjoy it to the max no matter what but i failed. Every morning, its so damn hard for me to wake up. As if like i have no good reason to wake up. The moment when i lay on my bed and about to sleep at night, im so happy cause i can relax my mind. I dont know why but lately i slept a lot. Ive gained 3 kg in 2 months! Grrrr. Ive tried to be the girl who is never obsessed about her weight but i cant. My current weight now is 48. So much for my new year resolution to get 43 kg by the end of this year. But its okey, Ramadhan is coming and usually my weight will drop 3 kg after the Ramadhan. Of course i have to skip the sahur. Hehehe.

So many things going on in my mind right now. Sometimes the only way for me to still be alive is that i laugh at the silliest thing. When i feel like im about to break down, i will try to recall back anything that will make me laugh and i end up laughing alone. Hey, at least it can cure me for few hours, or minutes. Maybe the reason that i cant enjoy my final semester is that i have to face the fact that by the end of this year, my life will change. I dont even know whether to continue my study or work. And even if i want to continue my master, where will it be? Do i have the guts to study in oversea for a year? Should i continue my study in uia since ive known all the lecturer or should i work cause i have no experience at all. Damn, how i wish somebody or something will enlighten me so that at least i know what to do or which path to choose. I cant believe its my final semester now. Im gonna miss uia. Okey, one more reason to be emotional! Damn.

P/s : I gotta find a great quote to cheer me up. A.S.A.P!!!

Brooklyn bridge.

Before i turn 30, i wanna drive a convertible car all through Brooklyn bridge in New York City at night while listening to 'Dancing in the dark' by Bruce Springsteen. That will be my dream. Something that i really wanted to do before i reach my 30's. But i know that it wont be easy. I need like lots and lots of cash before it actually happen. The bridge is so beautiful especially at night. Juz look at the picture. How can u not like it?

Agak poyo la kan smpi kereta yang aku nak drive pun yang convertible. Haha. Of course la. Gila style bawak kereta mcm ni at night with all the city lights and stuff. If i made it to New York, i'll try me very best to find this kind of car and sewa just for few hours or maybe one whole day just to make it happen. Gila style kan. Kalau J.lo dalam video clip 'Love dont cost a thing' rambut dia terbang2 drive kereta ni, kalau aku yang drive, tudung aku la yang terbang2. Gile cool. Rasenye i'll be the first woman yang pakai tudung naik convertible car kat Brooklyn bridge! Hooo yeah!

Maybe some people mostly dont know who is Bruce Springsteen but he's one of the pop singer back during the 80's. I have no idea why i just love this song. Check it out!

I love it ever since the first time i heard it. Such a fun song and the beats totally resemblance and will remind you of the 80's. The sound of it is soooo 80's pop music which i love it. Everytime when i drive my car alone at night, i always listen to it and i still remember how happy i am when i listened to it at night. Sometimes, there are things that u juz cant explain. Especially when it comes about feeling. But thats exactly how i felt. Owh, and the girl dancing on the stage before the song end is Courteney Cox. Isn't she cute? She's so young here and the way she danced with Bruce, oh my god! They look so damn happy. As if like there's no problem at all and all they do is singing and dancing all through the night without worrying about anything. Hehe, what do i know? hahaha...

I know that it wont be easy to achieve it. It takes time, money and courage to make it happen. Even if it happen when im 35, im still happy. But im not saying that i wont be happy if my dreams wont come true. At least i know that i have dreams and i've work my ass off trying to achieve it. Kalau ada rezeki, insyallah sampai jugak aku kat sana with my convertible car, and Bruce Springsteen song. :)

p/s : Is it to early to think what to wear on that day and what color of my tudung that i will choose? hehehe :)