Mr.Boyfie

Happy 89 months anniversary. He's part of my life since i was in high school and i always thought high school lover is cute!

How can i not fall for his eyes? How can i not fall for him every time when he cracked me up with his jokes? How can i not fall for him when all he talks about is his future with me.

Yeah, he made a mistakes before. I made a mistakes before. We both got hurts. But no one is perfect. Even after so long of being together, i still feel super excited when i wanna go out with him. He has taught me so much and maybe in a hard way but lesson learned and i love him even more.

I juz love having a long conversation with him. There are time when i feel like what was i thinking to be in this long relationship? And he knows how to remind me back. Looking forward to more anniversary with you and enjoying the ride.

I LOVE YOU MR.BOYFIE!

P/s: I swear im smiling alone right now in my bed room with my pajamas still on. Gonna hit the shower in a few minutes. Happy Sunday :)

Thank you bitches!

Hey ya peeps! Finally have the chance to blog since im still not sleepy yet although its pretty late now. What the heck, it's public holiday tomorrow! I dont know why but i kept thinking about high school a lot lately. Well, they said that there must be some memories there that makes me cant stop thinking about it. Its either good or bad memories. To me, its a blend of both. But i think i have more bad memories there since girls school is synonym with bitches. Even until now. Yeah here's a thing that i wanna blog about.

Those bitches who made my tears flow like a river back then, i already forgive you but i will never forget what you did.

Thank you for laughing at me. Yea i know i was a nerd but that doesn't mean you can go around and laugh about it as if you are cool enough. I bet you too feel insecure and by making fun of me will make you feel better.

Thank you for making fun of my frizzy curly hair. There are times when i cant even look at myself in the mirror. You can ask a friend of mine, Aizat Khairudin how much i cry my eyes out and i called him in the middle of the night complaining about my hair although i know nothing much he can do about it.

Thank you for saying that i need to grow up just because my pencil case is like a 10 year old girl. Do you expect everyone to be like you? Dont u ever heard of individuality and diversity bitch?

Thank you for giving that kind of face as if im not belong in your so-called group and thank you for saying that i need a huge make over to make guys fall for me. Guess what babe, i think when i had my first boyfriend when i was 15, you are still boyfriend-less!

Thank you for making fun of my taste in music. Well, do you think you're cool enough juz because you're not into the mainstream music? Sometimes the one who tried so hard to be individual is the one that people call pathetic. Whats wrong of enjoying the bubblegum pop music and boy bands?

Thank you for making fun of my indian blood but at least i dont look like a typical malay like you bitches! Im so proud of this blood and there's nothing to be ashamed of!

Thank you for bullying me and destroying all my stuff when im in class. You have no idea how much i cried every time when i got back from school.

Thank you for spreading false rumor about me but at least somebody told me about your true colors and opened up my eyes that i can never trust you again!

Thank you for rejecting me from the cheerleading tryout just because you want some German transfered student to be in your team although she is 10 times fatter than me and how the hell she wanna jump and move her ass like a cheerleader but im sooo fucking happy when your team lose! If you think by having some transfered student in your team could make you win, well the judges are not stupid like you!

Thank you for calling me shorty for years! So what? You're making fun of god's creation is it? Suit yourself! Well, because of my 154 cm height, people kept thinking that im still 18 now and too bad you look like a mother now! Karma's a bitch huh? Told ya!

Thank you for making fun of my Simpson's birthday cake when i was 15. That is super rude since i invited you to my so-called party and is that how you talk to me who invited you to my house? I guess, your mama didn't teach you enough about how to behave.

Thank you for making fun of my thick eyebrow. Hey, who said that every girls have to pluck their eyebrow? Who made that stupid rules?? Tell me!

Thank you for making me cry myself to sleep for 5 years in high school.

Fucking thank you bitches! I forgive you but i remember you! Right now as im almost 24, i never give a shit about what haters gonna say! Im comfortable in my skin and if you still think of me as the nerd from high school, well up to you. Anything to make you happy. If you're laughing at me before and still laughing now, trust me that im laughing way louder than you!

I dont need to mention the names of all this bitches as some of them are still my friends until now. But trust me, i remember everything!

Yes, its been ages since high school, but try to walk in my shoes, then you will know.

P/s : Yes, i forgive you even when you never ever say sorry to me... (owh, it feels so relieved to let it all out here. Now i can look forward!)

Sorority life. Well.... used to.

Peeps peeps! Hey, i was so caught up with my work since Monday that i got no time to blog but its funny how i still have time to Tumblr. Well, nice pictures sometimes can soothed me from all the mess. I was juz looking through some of my old photos and this picture got my attention.

Being 19 at this time is so much fun. Just imagine that im so enjoying myself that i never study at all. My academic is the last thing on my mind during that time. This is the time that i got my freedom that i've been waiting for years since high school. Not totally freedom but at least more space to do what i want. But sometimes, when i think about it again, freedom can damage ourselves when we dont know how to control it.

I met lots of great people this time and here are some of them. Its hard to stay in touch with them once when we moved to main campus in Gombak a year later. Whats left is just a memories. I still remember that i love spending time with them every night. We had the best time ever just by hanging out together.

At this time, Aza and Emy is my roommate. We stayed in level 3 and our friends room is exactly above our room which is in level 4 so sometimes we just communicate from the window by just screaming out loud. So its either we go to their room or they came to our room to watch dvd, gossiping and just chit chatting. Gosh, i really miss it so much.

The room is so small so whenever we watched dvd, we have to squeezed in a bit cuz there's 10 girls in one room including Aisya and Yana who came all the way from other block just to hang out with us. We will switch off the light, get cozy with the blanket and watch the movie. I love watching Thriller with them! :)

They also love to borrow my magazines and i dont mind. We had the best time ever. Maybe its sort of like a sorority club but not the official one. We always there for each other and we always know how to cheer up each other but of course we do have some issues. But at the end of the day, when everyone are there, its hard to remain mad with them.

We also love to dance together in the room especially dancing to some hindi songs! Basically, all i can say is that, we really had fun together. We even sneaked out just to go to the mall. There's one time, Me and Aza have to stay inside Aisya's car boot so that the guard wont see us. Its so damn funny to think about it again man! There are some sweet and bitter memories there.

Dont let some stupid silly argument ruin the friendship. You will regret it for the rest of your life. Thats why its hard for me to stay mad at someone for so long. Because i know that i will miss each and one of them so much.

P/s : God bless them. Love!

Label much?

I pity those people who judged others a lot when the truth is they actually dont know a thing about being in other peoples shoes. How can they be so sure and confident in labeling people as if they know the entire story of other peoples life?

For years, i got labels all the time. Its like written all over my face ever since in high school but i choose to ignore it even sumtimes its hard. Well, for the past few weeks, i was thinking, Fuck screw them. Im done pleasing people and trying to be someone else so that people wont label me but i guess i cant please everyone but myself. So if people call me childish, or retard or geek or drama queen, i dont give a damn anymore. I dont wanna live in other people's prison. Im gonna do it my way. Right now, what im looking for is anything that can make me happy. Anything.

P/s: Living in your own world is better rather than trying to bring people down by making fun of them. Peace out!

The Small Things

People tend to focus on getting rich and filthy filthy rich. They measure someone's happiness from the amount of cash in their bank. But its not a surprise that those who have a zillion of money sometimes feel empty, alone and...dead.

We need to be thankful on what we have got so far. Sometimes, even the smallest things can make us happy or at least put a smile to our face. For me, if i have a rough day, that vanilla ice cream from McDonald that only cost RM1 can brought smile to my face again. Yeah, i got pissed really fast and the next thing i know, im smiling again. Hormone problem i guess.

For now, i just wanna lie down in the garden and have a picnic with my best friends and just gossiping non stop. And also enjoying cheese cake together. Simple right?

I wanna do the things i like. I wanna make myself happy because all this while i have been so caught up with pleasing people to the extend that i dont even know what i want for myself. So my life right now is go to work in the morning and go back home at night. When i reached home, i feel so relax when im in front of my computer and got nothing to stress about. Just chat with some old friends, try to stay in touch with everyone and for now, im blogging although my eyes is kinda sleepy. Well, to me the night is still young.

Right now, im in a state where im hooked in reading novels. My mind can go pretty wild when i imagine everything that i read. The feeling is just awesome. Dont be surprise if you see me smiling to myself while reading my novel in the lrt. Thats because i got the goosebumps when i imagined the character comes to reality. Haha.

P/s : So am i a fantasy girl that Caprice is looking for? I doubt that! hahaha :)

Lunch Delivery.

Hey ya bloggers, or readers? Haha. Its been ages since the last time i updated my blog. Well, lots of things happened lately and i dont know where to start to tell you guys. Its just that i have been so caught up with my work and stuff. Gosh, i dont even have time for myself. I promised to myself that i dont wanna be a workaholic and a slave to my job. That will never happen. I dont want to wake up in the morning and go to work, head back home at night and go straight to bed. The same routine again and again. Where's the life man??! Haha...

So no matter how busy i am, i tried to do something for me, and not for my job. Like.... hmmm i read my novel on my way to work and in the lrt. I tried to chat with my friends while im busy in the office, tried so hard to go back home early so i can have a proper dinner with my family and watch tv, twittering, tumblring, facebooking, and blogging. I called it my escapism baby!! But trust me, its hard to squeeze in the time!

Yea so thats what they call it, the things that you do for money aite... I love my job. Way better than my other job before. But there's too much work! I dont wanna complain but i hate the fact that i have to go back home at night and sometimes i have to continue my work at home.. At this time, i am suppose to do my work which the dateline is tomorrow noon but instead, here i am blogging about it. Yeah thats pretty much.

So here i am, on Saturday, working my ass off but still have time to have a break and camwhoring when there's no one in the office. Haha. Well, to cheer me up that day, i treated myself with McDonald for lunch and of course its delivery straight to my table. And thats why they called it fast food rite...

Im a happy kid when i got my double cheese burger. Yummylicious lah! :)

P/s : Sunday almost come to end. Monday is creeping me out. Hopefully it will b a good week. If its not, i will try my best to make it awesome! Muaxxx :)

Pretty little liars

Hey peeps! Its Sunday. Love Sunday! Okay, so last Thursday, i went back to my hometown since its a long break and my mom forced me. Of course i dont wanna go back since it is so boring there. So to avoid boredom, i brought a novel with me as a distraction. This is the book.

I bought this novel at Kinokuniya KLCC months ago. I've heard about it before and when i saw it there at the book shelves, of course i have to take it despite the price. Even the book cover is scandalous enough. I just love to read girlish novel especially when it involves secrets, scandal or even death! That is just great. When i read the synopsis of the book, i know that this is the book im looking for. So let's see if Sara Shepard can be as good as Kate Brian. Or maybe better?

Well for now, its still early to tell since i haven't read the rest of the novel series yet. But while i was there at my hometown, i got hooked with this novel and i cant stop reading it and i managed to finish reading this only for 2 days and i feel like im craving for more.... Hopefully the 2nd book, Flawless is in store already and hopefully it will be better!

When i read a novel, i always try to relate myself with the main character of the story. You know, just for fun and see if it can really connect. Well, in this novel, there are 4 characters and i try to relate with at least one of the character. Before i explain that, let me introduce these hot girls okay....


This is Hanna. She's a Paris Hilton look alike. I mean not the face but more of the attitude. She used to be a dorky girl 3 years back and now she is 16 and she's the it-girl in school. Super thin and of course with that body figure, she suffer an eating disorder. Bulimia. She has a very low self esteem when she's alone but no one knows about that but herself. She's dating the hottest guy in school who pledge to stay virgin until marriage and that drive her insane!


This is Spencer. The miss know-it-all in her high school. She's one of the best student and not only in academic but also in other activity. She always envy her older sister who is also one of the best student in the school before and that is what motivates her to do more. She's totally in love with her sister's boyfriend and that makes her relationship with her sister become worse. Even when she's the perfect daughter for getting a good grades and obviously will nail it in University later, of course she has some weakness and that will be, flirting with her own sister's boyfriend. Totally wrong!

This is Emily. A very obedient daughter to her parents. But lately she realize that she's not normal. Ever since she got a new neighbor living next door name Maya she has no feeling sanymore to her boyfriend. All she could think about is the smell's of Maya's hair, her sexiness and she enjoyed hanging around with her. Everything changed when her boyfriend saw her kissing Maya and she know that she's not into boys anymore and that freaks her out. But she feels so good to have a best friend like Maya who she can totally share anything with. Even her tongue. Euw enough.


And the last girl is Aria. She has some issue with her own personality. For years she tried to be anything. Artsy Aria, Punk Aria and so many different character. Her darkest secret is she's having a scandalicious relationship with her own teacher Ezra. Well, they actually met at a bar before the school starts and they had no idea at all that they will b in a student-teacher relationship after that. But, when they found out, it didnt stop their romance. They got closer and Aria feel special and she didnt care about boys her age anymore. Its all about Ezra now. When she has tried so many different character, of course she's good at covering the secret.

From all the girls story, Hanna's story is the least that i like. I feel like there's no secret and drama in her character. I mean, its not enough drama. But the character that i feel related to the most is Aria. I dont know why but i love her story. Maybe i know and i understand what it feels like to have a personality problem. At one time, u wanna be girlish and at one time u juz wanna explode and emo for no reason. I used to be that or am i still like that? Hahahaha i have no idea. And Aria is the shortest and have the thickest eyebrow. That is sooooo ME.

This is the new novel series that i will start to follow. How can i ignore this type of novel. Totally my favorite!

p/s : Kate Brian, u definitely have a competitor now!

Why so serious?

Hey peeps. Its been awhile, i know. I've been busy lately and i dont really like to blog when im not in the mood so that explains. So what i wanna blog about? Hmm, lately, i feel like im taking this life way too serious? To the point when i feel like its wrong to even laugh and smile! Aiyoooo thats dangerous la. I might get a depression if i continue like this. Or am i already depressed? Well, that is subjective so its hard for me to say. But what i know is that, im so serious lately. Yes, i have some happy time when i go crazee and all but i know myself better and i know that the beginning of this year is not that good. I repeat, not good!

But its beyond my control and what's done is done. No point if i wanna continue to be sad about it. Im trying my very best to look forward but all i could think about is my past. Why is it so hard for me to let go the past? Somebody said that i am selfish cuz i dont want the time to go. Well, its true..

I admit that the future makes me scared. But stuck in the past also is scary. Part of me still back during the days. Every time when i hang out with my school friends, i always talked about our school time together especially all the stupid jokes that we used to laugh before. And they said that, i always talked about it every time we met. So, is that bad? :(

And now, since im no longer UIA student, i miss that life so much that it brought tears to my eyes when i think about the fact that it wont be the same again. That time has gone. All just a memories now.

P/s : I guess i really miss the old times

Money cant buy happiness. U think?

Hey peeps! how u're doin? Guess what? I have a doubts now! This is not good. I hate this feeling. The feeling of not sure what do you want and u cant choose because you're confuse. Get it? Yeah, it sounds weird but.... hmmmm how can i put it in words? Have u ever wonder why some homeless people still able to smile and juz live the day? Have you ever wonder why the rich people sometimes have no time at all to chill and have fun? Have you ever wonder why people said that money cant buy happiness?

But in Gossip Girl, Blair Waldorf used to said that those who believed in that quote actually dont know where to shop! What a materialistic! Then again, everyone wants to have lots of money and we tend to assumed that when we have money, there will be no problem. Anything that you wanna get, anything that you wanna do, you can get it all done. Just like that!

But have you ever wonder that sometimes, to be happy doesn't mean that we have to spend the money. What i mean is, its who u're with and how much you treasure the moments can still make you happy right? For some kids, they dont need to go to Disneyland to have the fun. They dont have to get the latest Playstation to have the fun. Whenever they're with their friends and just play some silly, stupid games, did you see how happy they were? Isn't that simple?



Whats your definition of happy? For me, im not sure because back then im really sure what i want. All i want is to have a really good job and have a good money so i can do whatever i like anytime i want. But i realize that its a long way. You're gonna face lots of pressure, tension and struggle to get there. And that is if you're lucky. Sometimes, people work really hard but they still didn't get there. Don't you think its exhausting that you have been studying for years and you have prepared yourself for future since you were a kid! That's pretty exhausting right? Your parents depends on you to get a good result so that they can impressed other people with our achievement. Its a burden that we have to carry with us for years! You have to get a good result to get into University, then its another struggle cause u must get a really good cgpa to get a good job. And when you got a job, u have to work hard to get a better position and better income.


So when is the time that you can actually lay back and dont have to think about it? By the time, you already got a good income, you will realize that you're 40! And you know that time really flies that you didn't get a chance at all to have fun when you're young. What a waste!!


For me, i have lots of needs. I love to go shopping and i wanna travel all around the world. But i need lots of money to fulfill all that dreams. In order to get that, i have to work my ass off. Have to sacrifice a lot of things. But by that time, im already old! Sometimes i kept asking myself, why im struggling so hard to impress those people i dont even like! Such a waste of time dont you think? Sometimes i think that if im a simple girl, who doesn't need 30 handbags and 10 jeans in the closet, my life will be better and no pressure. I dont demand too much when it comes to salary. I juz work, and get the money with no pressure.

Maybe just work at restaurant as waitress or something. When i get the money, i spend it wisely and still know how to have fun. Maybe juz chilling with family and friends for a picnic or just watch movie and play bowling. That wasn't bad right? But then again, im not that girl. That kind of a girl will keep doing the same thing again and again and just for the sake of money to continue living. But for me, i wanna do lots of different things. I wanna travel and see other culture. I wanna go shopping anytime that i like. But part of me wish that im just a simple girl who doesn't give a shit at all about that things. My life will be simpler and more fun!



I really wish that i can go travel and have a better future. But at the same time, i don't want to be that kind of a girl who are so obsess with her job and have no time at all to relax and enjoy. I wanna be fun all the way even when i know that there will be lots of thunderstorm along the way. Am i ready for that? Hopefully.

P/s : Brooklyn bridge, stay there! I will come someday!

2011 & New job

Hey peeps! Guess what? its 2011 already. Duh, like u dont know. Well, hows your celebration? Mine was quiet and boring but at least i got to spend some quality time with my family and cousins. Around 11 pm last night i was thinking about what will be my resolution. I was flipping through my diary and tapping the pen but still i have no idea what to write in it. Sometimes the things that u didnt plan can turn out to be the best thing that ever happen to you for that year. So basically, what i wrote is that, i juz wanna be a better person. Hmmm, if u ask anyone, that will also be their resolution right? Hahaha. me too.

I cant believe i will turn 24 this year. Time really flies. Its scary sometimes to think about what will happen next and when i think about it again, there are something that i can control and some are destiny and faith that will bring me to the future. So, its not like i leave everything to god. I do have my own plans but i already learned my lesson. I dont wanna plan too much cause things might not happen the way i want it to be so i will just go with the flow.

For now, i have a job and i love it. Okay, maybe i juz like it. But at least i got a job. Ok, here's the reason why i like my job:

1) I love news editing

2) My boss is super nice and he's a malay

3) My office in near to KLCC so i have no problem about transportation

4) I really enjoyed the fact that my office is so close to KLCC n i feel very sophisticated when i walked there to my office. Hehehe

5) The toilet is clean!!!!

6) My office mate are cool

7) They have the best Karipap sardin!

But too bad, there are few things that i dont really like about my job

1) Starts at 10 until 6. On Friday, maybe 8 pm! Thank god Saturday and Sunday is holiday

2) It is super cold there! Maybe i should have a pashmina or something

3) The news that i suppose to edit is islamic finance news. Hello? Im so bimbo about that la!

4) I have to bring my own laptop everyday.... maybe for the time being

5) The food is super expensive

I guess thats it. We will see how it goes. Well, of course im excited about it. Super excited. But to be honest i dont like to work following working hours. I prefer to do anything that i like as a freelance job. That way, i can work whenever i like and i can enjoy anytime that i want. So if i work from monday to friday almost until night, that means now i have to divide my time for my family, my boyfriend, and my friends. It wont be easy. Im gonna miss them. But i will try my best to spend my time with them. After all, they are my source of strength, and happiness. What would i do without them.

This is the start for me to save up all the money to make my dreams come true. Los Angeles, New York, Paris, i will see you soon!

Los Angeles

New York, (Brooklyn)

Paris